This is a game changer The Daily Telegraph. Teaching society the signs and practices of toxic masculinity allows communities to call out behaviour that creates femicide and filicide. Lawyers: the media is besting us at identifying problematic behaviours that lead to coercive control and criminal assault in the home. Surely, that is a job for the legal community. What is your firm doing to contribute to societal change? #equalityislaw #equalityissafety #itstopswithus #enough #legalpractice #lawpractice #practicemanagement
CEO, Enlighten Education. Director, Education and Special Projects at Women's Community Shelters. Parenting author. Media commentator / columnist.
Day two of the Daily Tele's war on perpetrators of domestic violence. Strap yourself in - it's time for the sporty blokes to have their say. I wish someone with a deeper understanding of gender based violence had been in a position to tap the news team on the shoulder and explain using language of aggression (they claim their campaign "packs a powerful punch", that these stars lend "muscle" to it) misses the mark when we are advocating for less violence. It reminds me of a campaign a bunch of well meaning and enthusiastic year 9 boys might have come up with. But I digress... Because more concerning really is that the emphasis is almost solely on incident based abuse (where a situation escalates, and then there's an eruption of violence) and on physical violence. We know of course that this may be what some abusive relationships are like, but most involve patterns of abuse over time which slowly erode the victim's freedom and indeed sense of self. And abuse may be physical, but it may not. Perpetrators might control finances, use their words to demean and denigrate, limit their partner's social interactions etc etc. The sector has worked hard to get this message over the line. Thank goodness for Paul Harragon who does at least state, "This has got to stop, this idea of men controlling their partners." So yes, it's easy to pick holes in this "coward violence" campaign. But you know what? The Daily Tele is read by blokes who don't tend to engage with academic discussions on gender violence on twitter, or indeed with what the domestic violence frontline is proposing. This is reaching these guys and (whilst clumsy and imperfect) it IS sending a strong message that violence against girls and women is not on. And (apart from Mundine who suggests would-be perps get in to the ring with him instead) the general advice is to walk away, to seek help, to talk about your frustrations and fears with mates, to take ownership of your own behaviour. That's solid advice. I especially liked Alan Tongue saying, "We are all learning and we want to be better." I found that very sincere and apt. It's also SIGNIFICANT that a mainstream newspaper like the DT has taken this editorial stance as it means we should see a shift away from victim blaming and "good bloke gone rogue" type reporting in the publication. Finally, in the very same issue on the front page was a report on a sports star who didn't hesitate to stop his car and assist a man who was suicidal. Positive masculinity for the win! The DT didn't seem to join the dots, but as an educator I can tell you that highlighting the good guys who also walk amongst us and normalising men displaying moral strength (not just muscle strength) will shift hearts and minds too.