IT Architects

WHO AM I AND WHY DOES IT MATTER? Who I am, or who any of us are, doesn’t matter as much as what we do with our lives. This brings me back to who I am and what it is that I do that makes my perspective somewhat unequivocal and insightful. Often I’m asked by others what I do for a living. I’m sure we all get this question at a spouse’s Christmas party. I tell people that I’m like a marriage counsellor. I explain that I build relationships, and only later reveal that they’re business relationships. I dare not admit that I’m an architect of sort, especially one who designs business processes, at least without qualifying it in some way that makes it interesting and provocative. The last thing I want is some house architect accusing me of being a con artist and threatening to report me to an architecture accreditation council because I don’t design something with a roof on it. Life Architecture helps find who you are and why it matters.

REBUILDING YOUR LIFE It can be done. The Six Million Dollar Man did it. When astronaut Steve Austin is severely injured in the crash of an experimental lifting body aircraft, he is rebuilt in an operation that costs six million dollars – this is in 1973 dollars of course and I’m sure inflation has driven that price tag up astronomically. Steve’s right arm, both legs, and left eye are replaced with bionic implants which enhance his strength, speed, and vision far above human norms. You’ll just have to watch the TV series from the ‘70s. I still recall the opening sequence where Oscar Goldman, Steve’s boss at the Office of Scientific Intelligence (OSI), intones off-camera, "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better...stronger...faster." Unfortunately, technology isn’t there just yet to make us superhuman in the reality we live in today. We do, however, have the wherewithal to rebuild our lives. By architecting our lives, we can definitely be better than we were before.

Have you ever asked yourself the question: what do I want from life? The curator in the movie "I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing" asks the question and then articulates what embodies happiness: - Universal respect - Eternal youth - Passion that never fades - Never to get neurotic about getting old - Make something breathtakingly beautiful that lasts forever Ahhhhhhh, this is a rather refreshing wish list from a loner with whimsical fantasies. I would be so bold as to call it youthful enthusiasm. When we are young, we possess an uninhibited exuberance of youth and the aspirations that go with it. But as we get older, reality starts creeping toward us like the tide, and that’s the first time we ask ourselves “What do I do now?” Our youth and enthusiasm fade as reality sets in. It seems as though everything changes overnight. All of a sudden, everyone around us is taking an interest in our lives. And expectations to make a buck and earn a living finally kick in. Dreams stop before we know what happened, and our youthful passion slowly turns into memories. I hope Life Architecture can keep us young.

LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES It was Forrest Gump’s mother who had a memorable smile and simile about life: “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” You won’t know if you’ll like the chocolate until you taste it. Friendship is the same way. You don’t know who your friends are until you get to know them. I wish I had fewer friends with negative outlooks and more people in my life who make me laugh. I tell friends we should focus on those moments of happiness to carry us through times of sadness and hardship. Life and all its offerings are passing us by. It’s our choice to celebrate the good times as we weather the bad. I hope Life Architecture helps you eat the chocolates you like.

OUR PROBLEMS SCULPT THE SOUL Tony Robbins bluntly points out that our biggest problem is the fact that we think that we shouldn’t have problems. He makes the poignant argument that our problems make us grow and become more. “Problems are what sculpt our soul.” This means that our problems need to be put in the right perspective. He tells us once we understand that “life is always happening for us, not to us,” we take control of our lives. Robbins admits that he is who he is because of his problems. Without his problems, who knows where he would have ended up, let alone help us turn our problems into opportunities. I’m convinced that if it wasn’t for my problems, I wouldn’t be who I am and where I am today. For that matter, I wouldn’t have written the book “Design Your Desired Life” if it wasn’t for my problems. Everyone who has encouraged, helped, and forgiven me has brought me to today. And how I make my life move forward is on account of everything that has happened to me. We are all responsible for what happens to us in life.

LIFE’S PROBLEMS ARE RIDICULOUS Most problems are so ridiculous that we wonder why people waste their time worrying about them. After all, worrying changes nothing and depletes our energy. As much as we’d like to ignore our problems, some problems are real and deserve consideration to better our lives. Can you distinguish between a delusional and a real problem? A delusional problem is when a person cannot tell what is real from what is imagined, or lives with a problem that can easily be resolved but doesn’t make the effort to do so. Delusional problems are ridiculous because we let them be problems. If they are real problems, this may take appropriate action manifested by careful thought, but cannot be readily resolved. Let me clarify with an example. If you work for a horrible boss and work life is miserable, this is a delusional problem. No one is putting a gun to your head to work there. You can change bosses and companies. You may also try to resolve a misunderstanding with your boss in order to reach a mutual understanding, especially if you like the company. If you’re diagnosed with cancer, this is a real problem that will disrupt your life and take time and effort to overcome. So, when I say problems are ridiculous, I mean we’re being ridiculous for putting up with them when we don’t have to. The first step in architecting our lives is to drop the delusional problems and focus on the real opportunities.

THE ART OF LIVING I envy the comedian who can make a bad situation good with an unpredictably impetuous sense of humour. He’s either mastered the fine art of keeping things in perspective, or he’s finally realized that uncertainty in life is not worth the anguish. I wish I were that guy – I mean the guy who sees things in a positive light and doesn’t lose sleep over a cracked windshield. A crack in the windshield may distort my view for a short time, but it’s only a matter of time it gets replaced. I now laugh it off and say, “The glass fairy will fix it next week.” Humor is the difference between getting upset and remaining cool when a nasty rock with trajectory issues hits you square in the face. We accept our bad luck knowing that a new windshield will soon take care of the problem. “The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living,” according to a man who lived through his own tragic events. Life Architecture has taught me the art of living.

FINDING CERTAINTY IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLD Most of us spend a lifetime contemplating how to find certainty in an uncertain world – one that has plunged us into the deepest waters of uncertainty. Maybe uncertainty is the fate for most of us. “After all, how can you be certain about anything when you’re uncertain about the most basic question: ‘Am I going to live or die?’” It sometimes takes a motivational celebrity to put things in perspective for us. The motivational guru Tony Robbins found certainty in himself at a time of distress, only after he realized that uncertainty isn’t an excuse for inaction. I think we can all attest to the fact that inaction puts us in a state of uncertainty. If we don’t do something with our lives, we can pretty well be assured that we’ll be dealing with some kind of uncertainty. Architecting our lives is a way to put us in a state of certainty.

SELF-ACTUALIZATION AS A MEANS TO HAPPINESS Purpose and happiness are inseparable. Happiness cannot exist without a purpose to satisfy our self-fulfillment needs, or what the American psychologist Abraham Maslow referred to as self-actualization. “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.” Maslow believed in our inherent ability to become actualized based on our natural potential and everything that we are capable of achieving. It’s only when we reach this level of self-actualization that we can be truly happy. In fact, when we architect our lives, we self-actualize.

“WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?” Those were the unadulterated words in Tina Turner’s most successful hit single. Some of us have had our hearts broken in more ways than one and never healed. Sometimes we’re just too afraid of being hurt again and resolved not to love quite as much. Love is analogous to a space heater: it’s good for a drafty corner but hardly the solution for an entire room. Love works the same way. Not all love is mutual and eternal, and at times, it is temporary, limited, and one-sided. I’ll argue that love is not some “second-hand emotion” as Tina claims but rather an everlasting passionate affection for the people and things that we care for. We have to love fully to love, regardless of what happened in the past. We cannot be in an enduring relationship without true love attracting us. We cannot be personally attached to that old Corvette unless dad rebuilt it himself before passing it on to his children. We cannot stay in a job for long if we don’t love what we do. “If we don’t do what we love, then we wouldn’t exist” were the contemplative words of a friend who dedicates himself to volunteering. In the long haul, our happiness is an outcome of the things that we love and live for, while they hold meaning for us. We can love completely without complete understanding. On the contrary, love’s got everything to do with it! When we’re in love, we want the whole world to know it. In the words of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, “Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire.” From the day we are born, we look for love because it is love that nourishes our soul. And when we are lucky enough to find love, our lives are changed forever.