1. |
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People tell us that we sound like The Spits
We don’t care
People tell us that we sound like The Dickies
We don’t care
People tell us that we sound like Devo
We don’t care
People tell us that we sound like shit
We don’t care
We don’t care who we sound like
We don’t care if we’re alright
Can’t remember how to play our songs
So there’s no need to try and sing along
People tell us that we sound like Darkthrone
We don’t care
People tell us that we sound like Mozart
We don’t care
People tell us that we sound like Garth Brooks
We don’t care
People tell us that we sound like shit
We don’t care
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2. |
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Bullies, police, shoot ‘em in the head
Lifeguard thinks I'm fuckin’ dead
Preacher, preacher, go to hell
Teacher, teacher, fuck your show and tell
I don't like anyone, not you
I don't like anyone, it's true
Husbands, wives, subs, doms and cucks
Sorry girls and boys you're outta luck
You can tell my boss I killed myself
I don't give a fuck about no one else
I don’t like anyone, not you
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3. |
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I am going to pull your pants down around your ankles
I am going to suck your dick in front of everyone
I am going to fuck you until you love me
I am going to make you want to hurt me
I am going to suck your dick, you piece of shit
I am going to make you sick, you fucking prick
Malaria, bubonic plague, chronic dysentery (is what I got)
I am going to give you what's inside of me
Make another pass at a passerby
I am going to make you want to cry
I am going to suck your dick, you piece of shit
I am going to make you sick, you fucking prick
It is going to taste like shit, but that being said
I am going to give you head, until you are dead
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4. |
I H8 Minneapolis
00:56
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People are cold and so repressed
They’d kill you if they had the chance
Walked down the street, saw the Cherry And The Spoon
And then I shit my pants
Went downtown to get diarrhea
From a Pizza Luce slice
Rated one of the top ten places to live
As long as you are white (and nice)
Cuz I h8 Minneapolis
Target, Cargill, Best Buy suck
We should wipe ‘em off the map
All the bands play fuckin stupid shoegaze
Or that looping keyboard crap
Award-winning food you can’t afford
Unless you own a goddamn bank
But I shouldn’t complain cuz they treat me well
And they don’t care I’m a fake (like them)
Cuz I h8 Minneapolis
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5. |
The Kids Are Alt-Right
01:40
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Walked in to order a cortado at my friend’s coffee shop
Looked around and saw a Macbook with a sticker on top
It was a picture of Steve Bannon as The Incredible Hulk
Then I saw a man grab a guitar and he played Neo-Folk
The Kids Are Alt-Right
Then I noticed all their haircuts, looking so dapper and nice
Reading Ayn Rand and wearing confederate flag bow ties
A hipster complimented my boots and he handed me a flyer
“The National Policy Institute: Sponsored By PBR”
The Kids Are Alt-Right
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6. |
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One man's waste - another's treasure
You see shit while I feel pleasure
I can't wait to open wide
And know how you taste
From the inside
Are you gonna flush that?
Beautiful human waste
Are you gonna flush that?
Smear it on my face
Are you gonna flush that?
It never had a chance
Are you gonna flush that?
Put it in my pants
Psilocybin don't grow on trees
The Lord resides in your feces
Hey you fucker, put down that acid
And take a bite of this brown and flaccid
So that's the scoop - it's down pat
Just one question:
Are you gonna flush that?
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7. |
College Is For Losers
01:08
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7am - gotta be to class by 8
Wonder if I'll even have time to masturbate
Gotta ton of homework to do and I can't be late
Wonder if I'll even graduate
College is for losers
Systems taking you for a ride
Might as well commit suicide
Got my student loan check just this afternoon
Gonna quit my job and spend it on shit real soon
Reacquire all the things in life that I lack
No one ever told me that I'll have to pay it all back
College is for losers
You should throw those books away
No one cares about your GPA
Not gonna listen to what you say
You’re still gonna be underpaid
College is for losers
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8. |
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I swipe left and I swipe right
No new matches, no end in sight
Notice my modem’s looking good
Open it up, look under the hood
Cuz I made love to the Internet
Deep inside the World Wide Web
Interface glowing, no regrets
Feels so good when I connect
Private messages now ignored
Kiss my wires when I walk through the door
Don’t reply to late night texts
Preferences set to “Digital Sex”
Cuz I made love to the Internet
I made love to, so much love to, I made love to the Internet
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9. |
I Wanna Be Your Baby
01:06
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I go to the store, I fall on the floor
And now I’m upset because I want my mommy
Diaper falls off, now I’m getting off
Cuz all I want is to be a young boy
Covered in filth, I just want my milk
But my boss won’t give me back my bottle
He says I’m too old
He’s says it’s too weird
And no one wants to buy stocks from a kid
I wanna be your baby
I am so small, when I’m six feet tall
Protect me from my dumb wife and my big mortgage
With food on my bib, put me in my crib
And don’t ignore me when I shit myself
I’ll give you my Porsche – I’ll have no remorse
Just burp me, clean me, and then call me your baby
I scream and fuss - this life is too much
I can’t handle this damn adulthood
I wanna be your baby
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10. |
Kill Everyone (Who Dies)
01:18
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If it’s cancer, or gum disease and losin’ teeth
Please just let me out
If I can’t see enough to read, then there’s a need
And there is no doubt
I stub my toe, I’m gonna know – it’s time to go
End my fucking life
A hang nail: I’ll scream and wail, I’m gonna bail
Everything goes dark
Cuz I’ve enjoyed my slice of life
Clean off my plate and say goodnight
Vampire bat, werewolf attack
Make up a tale of my final breath
Tell ‘em all that I died getting high
And saving orphaned dogs
In a rocket ship, drove off a cliff
Or bled to death having tons of sex
Choked and died on cream pies, collecting flies
But still won the contest
This world’s a raging pile of shit
Don’t want to be a part of it
Kill, kill, kill – everyone who dies
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11. |
Suddenly I Forgot You
01:09
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Wake up in the morning and I got nothing to do
Got the house to myself and I haven't got a clue
Think I'll read a book then paint the living room
Then I'll go to the bar, maybe I'll meet somebody cool
Suddenly, I forgot you
Havin such a great time, don't think I'll go home tonight
Think I'll buy an 8ball for later alright
Better call a cab, grab some condoms, candles and things
That was when she noticed my diamond wedding ring
Oh no, oh no, oh no
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12. |
Johnny On The Plop
01:31
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He’s in the bathroom
Been 37 years now - he's gonna flush
The whole world down the drain
He's Johnny on the plop
Can't stop from reaching for another roll
Johnny on the plop
Hands up, you're reaching around for the world
Hey, someone stop him - nobody can stop him
He's got the latch on from the inside
Gonna have to wait until he's finished cleaning up
He's still in there - just in case you’re wondering
He's got the latch on from the inside
Gonna have to wait until he's finished cleaning up
Oh no - won't someone save us all?
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13. |
I H8 Birds
00:47
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I hate their fucking feathers stuffed in shitty pillows
I hate it when they chirp and when they fly too low
I hate their weird claws and their shiny beaks
Barn swallows, sparrows, and Canadian (Canada Geese is the correct term) Geese
I hate it when they dive at me, it really freaks me out
If there’s too many that I see, I’ll take a different route
I don’t care if they eat bugs or stay in their nests
Don’t care about the gift of flight, cuz I’m not impressed
Don’t care about whose ass they saved in “Lord of the Rings”
They swoop down and they shit on all my favorite things
I hate it when they dive at me, it really freaks me out
If there's too many that I see, I'll take a different route
I hate birds
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14. |
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I’m gonna win the sooper bowl
I’m gonna kick the field goal
They’ll forgive me for my crimes
Just in time for half time
No more calling me names again
I’m gonna make some true friends
I’m gonna fuck some cheerleaders
Turn my dick to astroturf
I’m gonna win the sooper bowl
I’m gonna win the bowl
I’m gonna win the sooper bowl
I’m gonna crush and eat some souls
No more sex offender charge
Lift some weights, sleep in some cars
I’m gonna get so many sacks
No conviction for my attack – when I fucked that police dog
I will be their rightful god
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15. |
Kill Me (Please Kill Me)
01:11
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I’m tired of pretending that I’m doing well
When all I’ve eaten for a week is Taco Bell
I say that I’m fine when I’m really not
Cuz every day feels like a punch in the crotch
Kill me, please kill me
I don’t want to live but I can’t kill myself
I could fall in the shark tank at the zoo
Get lost in the great jungles of Peru
Cuz this slow death shit isn’t working for me
Cigarettes cost too much and I’m sick of drinking
Kill me, please kill me
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Citric Dummies Minneapolis, Minnesota
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