Stop, Drop, and Roll: Communicating with an Aries
What you need to know to win over the petulant first sign of the zodiac. |
“WhoooooaooOAoHH!” Who could forget the immortal words of Fergie when she did four single-handed cartwheels across the stage of The Today Show at 8:54 a.m.? That singular moment is a perfect embodiment of an Aries in action. After wading through the world-weary waters of wise ol’ Pisces, Aries season bursts onto the scene with buoyant, youthful energy and the contagious optimism of Spring. As a cardinal sign, Aries are natural-born leaders, although, with their improvisational approach to life, their strategy tends to be very “ready, fire, aim.” As the baby of the zodiac, their charming sense of abandon may seem whimsical, but this particular brand of youthfulness is less “manic pixie dream girl” and more “schoolyard punk with a heart of gold.” It’s best to have a thick skin if you plan on befriending an Aries, but their bark is far worse than their bite. For what you suffer in punch buggies, wet willies, and persistent razzing, they repay tenfold in unmatched loyalty and near-smothering love.
Ruled by the planet Mars, Aries are action-oriented. Boredom is a cruel and unusual punishment for this cardinal sign. Unlike the mopey, self-soothing water and earth signs, Aries sublimate all their feelings into action. This type of impatience often gets them into trouble; with a penchant for acting and speaking impulsively, they are the sign most likely to put their foot in their mouth (metaphorically and, on occasion, literally). Introverted Aries tempered by the presence of less confrontational signs in their chart often have less pronounced bombastic qualities and instead are perceived as bluntly honest and assertive leaders. As J.B.M. (anonymous Aries) says, “When I think about the other Aries I know, the only thread I can see is that they all have an older-sibling vibe going on, even if they aren’t. They are born leaders, or at least with a somewhat heightened sense of responsibility.”
Brave or brash? Confident or cocky? Impish or immature? With so many seemingly contradictory elements at play, I interviewed a few of my favorite Aries friends and colleagues to break down common misconceptions about the zodiac’s youngest sign.
“Angry” is a Mischaracterization
“It’s a misconception that we react with rage every time we get upset or frustrated or annoyed. That we’re angry and aggressive. That we make good lovers and lawyers but not good friends. In reality, I find that I’m very optimistic and cheerful—until I’ve reached a limit, and then I fire off—but then I can pretty quickly go back to being my calm, understanding, productive self. I almost never hold on to my anger; as soon as I express it, it goes away almost instantly.” – B.C. (Aries since 1979)
Aries are often described as “angry,” but that's a stereotype. Aries prefer to approach a conflict head-on rather than wait for resentment to simmer. They may be quick to fight but are even quicker to forgive—they simply want to “get things over with.” The beautiful thing about Aries is that they never stay mad; it’s almost shocking how quickly they forgive (and miraculously forget). While this may come as a surprise to the passive-aggressive community, it’s a breath of fresh air for the “aggressive-aggressive” types. Aside from these fits and bursts, Aries are one of the most happy-go-lucky signs of the zodiac. While most signs approach life’s great unknowns with trepidation, Aries proceed with curiosity and optimism.
They Are Bored Easily
“Friendwise, the best way to win me over is to cut the crap, call me out, talk shit to my face. Let’s have a fun argument. Romantically, give me a raise, give me a discount, pull a shameless stunt that shows me how you feel in no uncertain terms.” — J.B.M. (Aries with incredible cheekbones)
The fastest way to lose an Aries is to be dull and predictable. Oh, you think pop music is lame? How original. The word ‘moist’ grosses you out? Grow up. Aries are looking for excitement—hot takes, salacious information, mud wrestling. Approach them with anything remotely underwhelming, and you’ll see an Aries-shaped hole in your front door. With their natural impatience, they have a zero-tolerance policy for bitching and moaning. As B.C. explains, “I love energetic, ambitious people. Confidence will always win me over.” Spontaneity, surprises, and novelty are the quickest way to an Aries’ heart. Warning: When an Aries says they’re “ready to go,” they want to leave NOW.
Don’t Take What They Say Too Personally
“One of the biggest misconceptions about Aries is that we’re one note: always bold, always confident. It comes in surges, or yips and yaps, followed by relent.” – J.B.M.
With their “ready, fire, aim” approach to communication, butting heads with an Aries can get dicey. Some Aries have a hard time verbalizing the thoughts in their mind, so when something flies out of their mouth, it’s often just as much a surprise to them as it is to you. As we’ve said, they are quick to fight and forgive but also to forget—which is convenient because they forget some of the completely unhinged things they’ve said in the heat of the moment. While this can feel infuriating to some, it's good to remember that an Aries genuinely doesn’t hold a grudge. When they are over it, they are over it. (If a Cancer says they are “over it,” they are lying through their teeth 99.9 percent of the time.) To love an Aries is to know how to read the translated subtitles underscoring all the word vomit.
They Care Very Deeply
“Aries remember all random facts, so when people remember things about us, we love it. We’re actually sensitive and kind, so when we get crossed, we don’t understand why—that’s why people sometimes perceive us as bitches.” – T.C. (Triple-threat Aries)
With their bullish and headstrong nature, people can dismiss Aries as callous or unfriendly. People see their brashness as nonchalance, associating a strong personality with an unflappable sense of self, but that couldn’t be further from the truth—Aries are very flappable and perhaps the most chalant sign of the zodiac. Aries might have a hard time expressing their feelings with sincerity, but they care deeply for others. Unlike Leos, who have a reverence for love in a noble and knightly way, Aries love in a “pinky promise me we’ll always be best friends” way. Other signs may adopt and dismiss friendships with frequency, but Aries will fight tooth and nail for the friends they love. If they sense you pulling away, they may raise hell. Fun fact: Aries go all out for their friend's birthdays. They adore planning elaborate get-togethers because it gives them something to get excited about.
They Are Hard Workers
“I fit within most of the behaviors that Aries are known for. Do I love to be number #1? Yes, absolutely. Do I love challenges? Yes, but I love achieving them efficiently and perfectly. Am I determined and relentless? For the most part, yes, especially if it’s something I’m interested in…or NEED to do. Blind optimism? Absolutely. I’ve often been told that I live with rose-colored glasses on (like Rose Nylund), but, to me, life is too short to be an asshole and cynical.” – B.C.
As a cardinal sign ruled by Mars, they are burning with ambition and possess great self-discipline. Many don’t realize that when an Aries, known for being impulsive and brash, is put to a task, they are diligent planners and confident leaders. When it comes to work, all childish affect is left at the door, and their natural competitiveness gets in the driver's seat. As F.K.W. (Aries without borders) explains, “People who don't know me super well might be surprised to know that when I go out jogging, I secretly race other people who are out jogging. But anyone who knows me well won't be surprised by that. I'm deeply competitive. I can't even do family board games without being a bitch about it.” If you are in a group project with an Aries—come hell or high water—you’re getting an A.
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