1. |
Bonehenge
02:54
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waves reverse and mists loom
waking up is hard to do
sink back into a dream
that's so embarrassing
we’re static in the visions
we are gametime decisions
in fields of anxiety
it’s so embarrassing
went out to feel less dumb
woke up covered in blood
to a disembodied scream
it’s so embarrassing
nature reclaims the landscape
can’t feel the edge of my shape
bristling psychology
it’s so embarrassing
atoms explode and scatter
nothing we did really mattered
but it sure was diverting
and so embarrassing
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2. |
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passed out on the air mattress
whatever we used to be, we’re less
unshaken hands stumble through pockets for drugs
i’ve seen the sunup so much this month
the weather changed
and everybody got sick
were we just born to be
wrapped in plastic
whatever we used to be
we’re less
the rest of our lives we’re just gonna be anxious
your skin shimmers from the tattoo removal
just like it’s seeking somebody’s approval
scales shiver at the bottom of the ocean
as if a big mouth’s about to open
the weather changed
and everybody got sick
cuffed to the bedframe
watching rats chew through brick
the light outside is gonna burn you brutal
just like it’s seeking somebody’s approval
we can’t go back!
and there’s no way back to the safety of dreams
sleeping blindfolded/busted up
lying at the bottom of the bruise black sea
after telling someone to get fucked
and there’s no way back to who we used to be
our lives amounted to a bunch of stuff
on every other feeling i’m pressing delete
from now on i’m just gonna be anxious
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3. |
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it was a set up
in the first place
32-point font
set in boldface
i’ll torch the source text
i won't fuck around (oh no)
i’ll find every edition
and burn it down
reduced to ashes, returned to dust
erased from history, it won't matter much
check every morning for cut breaks
i’m in your rear view, do double takes
it won't be pretty, certainly not quick (no shit)
headlines in papers will call me sick
another footnote in my fucked history
a bleached-out bloodstain is all you'll ever be
it was a set up
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4. |
New Flesh Instructions
02:40
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the clouds explode
puncture the sky’s rim
it opens up
into black horizons
a hum from below
that nobody questions
it’s getting hard to tell what isn’t from what is
we felt small in our bodies
they loomed around us like homes
piloting this mass of flesh
through a minefield of black holes
pointless to ask for a meaning
i wouldn’t want to indulge
just looking for something to hold
so i can finally let go
stay up all night
talking to ghosts
sleeping upright
in last night’s clothes
still i cannot stop
the ceaseless ebb and flow
it happens beyond anything i’ll ever know
propelling forward or falling
it’s hard which one to know
you stopped talking weeks ago
because the stars pulsate in code
pointless to ask for a meaning
though i hope one enfolds
everyone i’ve ever loved
in a warm glowing warming glow
the mark on your wrist
makes you act different
your skeleton is showing some resistance
we watch the collapse of another solar system
and the light reels inside the steel behind your eyes
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5. |
5318008
02:12
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here’s the thing, we started out friends
still taste your lips on my vape pen
it almost feels gross
inhaling your ghost
a steady diet of madeleines
is causing 9D hallucinations
of a possible past
that i don’t think i’ll ever get back
it just loses its aim
never focused in the frame
never giving it a name
so there’s no one that you can blame
i had to be
something confusing
interference in the ring
disqualified from everything
here’s the thing, we started out friends
just a slight hint of lesbian subtext
a sigh you held inside
the light snagged on your eyes
can’t seem to do anything but ruin the planet
kiss the wrong people, mourn their absence
i’m out of time
to do things that i don’t even like
and sometimes i’ll cry
be infinitely awry
half-collapsed and calcified
and i won’t even know why
but we can go slow
on our way to erode
or maybe explode
into a million unknowns
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6. |
Possum Kingdom 2
02:34
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can’t quite get away
but we’ll be fucked if we stay
fuck!
doesn’t matter if we leave
it doesn’t matter and it never has
doesn’t matter if we stay
we’re damned if we do,
and if we don’t we’re, if we don't we're dead
can’t quite get away
but we’ll be fucked if we stay
fuck.
doesn’t matter if we stay
it doesn’t matter and it never has
doesn’t matter if we leave
we’re damned if we don't,
and if we do we’re, if we do we're dead
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7. |
Blood Sugar Gender Magik
02:56
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then the sunlight frayed the maiden patch on your back
our clothes smell like stale cigarettes and bong glass
we'll never be able to find our way back
it's like someone broke the woods and glued them back together wrong
laid out in fractured patterns like a megadeth song
we are lab rats in a labyrinth
landmines in a landfill
we figured out the ending about twenty minutes in
every time we resisted it was all part of the plan
the sound of sawdust in the engine
i had a dream where you're not around
the cat turned red and the house burned down
picture was off sync with the sound
nothing awaits us in the ground
years after the blackout we wake up by ourselves
our shadows move away til they belong to something else
weightless and shapeless as the self
when the tv static started to reverse from the flames
we realized we were acting and the whole world was a stage
broadcast with a ten-second delay
and now we're only flashbacks in the sequel to the dream
floating in the reeds, on sale at spirit halloween
we gleam like the camera lens in the trees
the trees, they yawn forever on
they’re everywhere and causing pointless introspection
neverending like a drone
the world, it ripples from the impact of the concussion
if there’s a heaven it’s located in hell
love is a story i keep telling myself
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8. |
Penus in Retrograde
04:42
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"not to spill blood, that is the law...are we not men?"
we went to the doctor
he sat in his chair
he said not on his table:
"no never not you"
and now an empty office
and now an empty chair
we laid down on his table
we weren't there
night lights on the highway
halo of frizzled hair
blood black in the moonlight
we weren't there
and we never asked you
i ripped my face off
and gave myself a new one
i ripped my eyes out
now i see all around me
we ripped our souls out
now we know how to live
the night it lights up orange
our tongues they lick the sky
blood red in the glimmer
we'll never die
tents pitched in the tall grass
the buzz of hungry flies
the stink of rusted metal
we'll never die
night lights
on the highway
flashlights
in the tall grass
we weren’t there
and we'll never ask you
i ripped my face off
and gave myself a new one
i ripped my eyes out
now i see all around me
we ripped our souls out
now we know how to live
peel the gauze away, away
beautiful, but not today
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9. |
Amethyst
03:37
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i pry the fiction from the myth
but i can feel the friction of your grip
keeping the lid affixed
to the coffin i was born in
how can i escape my shape
spill out of where i’ve been contained
tremble on the floorboards
until i evaporate
and all our thoughts will drift away
and slip into a crack in space
and all our love will be erased
by the collapse of time and place
there will be nothing after this
(hail the accident!
hail the mutant flesh!)
“a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss”*
as the horizon rim
glows like amethyst
snow falls through the tv set
i had a vision of nothing happening
but then the world resumed its spin
through the soundless din
it’s something i’ll be living with
the way the meanings loosen and then drift
disconnected continents
sinking into my subconscious
and all my thoughts will be replayed
projected by the gamma ray
and all our love is empty space
we’ve knitted into bolts of lace
all the details of that show got lost
(the last band of the night,
the light snagging on your eyes)
a screenshot of a bad screenshot
the sky’s a glitching gif
it glows like amethyst
*leonard cohen, "closing time"
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10. |
Johnny Deformed
01:53
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kicked the habit
found another
panicking, too stoned
call my mother
disappointment
in her voice
second guessing
routine choice
if i had to do it all again, i probably will
say you've had it
have another
slur every fourth word
call my mother
leave a voicemail
a poor choice
drunken static
white noise
if i had to do it all again, i probably will
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FAITH/VOID New York
Tim Lee
Mattie Lubchansky
Ivy Nelson
blissgender borecore from astoria, queens
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