1. |
Peoria
03:34
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we’ve been falling behind
every day for weeks
it’s been getting darker
and the clouds are forming
I couldn’t find the keys
and panic flapped its wings
let in a little light
on daylight savings morning
if I should go
if I should go
I’d do it for ya
Peoria
unroll my mind
lay it out to dry in the sun
and steel my spine
for the knives that are coming
siphon some gas
Silverado on the street
I can taste it on my teeth
on daylight savings morning
if I should go
if I should go
I’d do it for ya
Peoria
“in my hour of darkness”
I am chasing what I cannot see
argue with the birds
singing
on daylight savings morning
I found the keys in your coat
while you were still asleep
who rejoices when the lost is found?
the loser or the lost thing?
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2. |
Breathe
04:29
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you try to reason with the bolted door
when you get lost in your mind at night
who you are, and were before --
know that i am yours if you are mine
i tried to get you back inside
but my keys don't unlock anything
i'm with the ghosts and angels, killing time
i'm nothing for you if i don't believe
the things we know and dare not breathe
the thing we say and don't believe
the wall of roses fell
climbed off the trellis and onto the wind
the beauty that we thought we held
just thorny whips looking for skin
loving you is hoarding smoke
there's nowhere for you to go
but in my lungs and in my bones
i love you while it kills me slow
the things we know and dare not breathe
the thing we say and don't believe
the stark relief of tree on snow
the color's gone, but comes the thaw
tell me secrets, leave me notes
on the paper they print bibles on
the things we say and don't believe
the things we know
and dare not breathe
|
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3. |
A River's Love
05:13
|
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we parked by the reservoir
a little drunk comparing scars
and the volume of a river’s love
broke the barrier into the car
it pushes through
hear it off the service road
getting louder deeper we go
on the heavy hanging creosote
now through the trees, sucking smoke
it pushes through
pulling me in
pulling me closer to you
I’ve been fighting it
like a liar flailing at the truth
shaking like the witness stand
you said “take your shame and rip it up”
I wasn’t ready for your hand
startled by a river’s love
it pushes through
search the shore for wood and clay
dam it, block it, try to tame
you were laughing as I tried in vain
a river’s love will find a way
it pushes through
pulling me
pulling me closer to you
I’ve been fighting it
…
hold on
hold on
hold on
it pushes through
fumbling and falling down
overwhelmed around above
can’t you see I’m gonna drown
drowning in a river’s love
it pushes through
pulling me in
pulling me closer to you
I’ve been fighting it
like a martyr waving off a rescue
pulling me in
pulling me closer to you
I’ve been fighting it
…
|
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4. |
Push Us Into Love
04:20
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I dreamed we were shoulder to shoulder in the backseat wearing puffy coats being driven over a bridge to a funeral for one of our dream-friends’ folks
You kept leaning in to face me and you grabbed for my hand in your gloves
My heart begs to be light but my mind gets dark
Can’t push us into love
When we were living right off of the on ramp the highway would lull you to sleep
It started to feel like the ocean, break light red tide pulled you to dreams
I just heard cars and waves crash in the break wall, sirens around and above
My heart begs to be light but my mind gets dark
Can’t push us into love
There’s a ribbon of white and a ribbon of red tying up the highway under helicopter prayers
My phone’s blowing up from a number I don’t know texting over and over “are you there?”
I’m guessing it’s you; I heard that you moved— you’re friends keep me filled in enough
My heart begs to be light but my mind gets dark
Can’t push us into love
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5. |
Puget Sound
04:45
|
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been landlocked so long
when I see the ocean
i don’t know how to look around
there’s something on the horizon
I don’t know how to call it
looks like it’s coming aground
surrounded by eel grass slipping stones
beach glass bird bones
something starts pushing through my skin
I’m growing roots I’m growing wings
I’m dripping poison from my fangs
its all happening again
I’ve been trying to tell you
but I get drowned out
every call washing
back on Puget Sound
it was the first time in a while
it was the worst timing
i got nobody here I can call
hoping i can find a ride
i feel the water rising
and meet up with the sky as it falls
or is your city sinking?
I’m going under
what does it matter who blinked first
can you call it your own
without taking everything
coerced by a horrible thirst
I’ve been trying to tell you
but I get drowned out
every call washing
back on Puget Sound
Can the night tell the truth?
can you trust the moon, smiling while it lies to you,
pooling water at your feet?
If I’m using you
I hope you’re using me
Find a kinder tide
to pull you where you need to be
my time is spilling out
I got too much to much to keep
I’ll try you again in a couple of weeks
I’m holding on to all of this
cause there’s nowhere to set it down
until this water recedes
I’ve been trying to tell you
but I get drowned out
every call washing
back on Puget Sound
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6. |
Whulge
03:50
|
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7. |
Begin To Begin
05:48
|
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the places that I’ve been and may never see again:
I won’t say haunted, but I get visited
It follows me around, wherever I go
So all things being equal, lately I just stay at home
and listen to the refrigerator hum
and quietly hum along
and wait for it to come
begin to begin to begin to begin
I swear, dog knows it first-- I can see it in her eyes
when she seeks me out, checks in, curls up and and resigns
It’s like she heard music from the other room
that she recognized--
some theme song from a rerun on the air all the time
She don’t like it, she don’t hate it, she just knows that it’s on
and that means there won’t be conversation until the show is done
that’s when I zone out and disappear and it has begun
my darkness comes in darkness and it stays til it is done
begin to begin to begin to begin
blinding light
trip and fall
I’m a bat trapped in the house
clicking for the walls
cause I don’t cry out no more--
I just tiptoe down the hall
baby, keep on sleeping
I get out the house and it’s just before last call
caramel brown bottles, Packers shit is on the wall
suck it down, check the clock, beg another round
bartender says, “your idea of fun always feels like a breakdown”
text my therapist two four six am
“hey it’s chris it’s been a while it’s happening again
I’ll take the first hour you can get me in”
begin to begin to begin to begin
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