Making money playing games when you suck and have a speech impediment?

[InDarkestNight]

I really need more money. The only thing I can think to do to increase my income is to start making money on my games. Problem is, I suck. I've rarely completed a game in my life. Also, over the past several years all I've been playing is Skyrim, and I'm getting beyond sick of it. I haven't played it in weeks now.

I own dozens of games, but I hate most of them. Either because they weren't what I was expecting (false advertising, I even a few months ago had some shady company threaten legal action against me after I showed a screenshot revealing that the game isn't what it was advertised to be), or because they were updated into something I either don't enjoy or can't play (f*#@ you terraria).

I've been thinking of starting my own mod review channel, Those are few and they always focus on load orders, and padding out their stinking videos that reveal practically nothing. I want people to learn how to make their own, I want something like brodual back. Of course, I only play LE because I never could get SE stable on my system. And besides, I can't stomach what they've done with the ae update. I did re-install it not long ago, just for the beyond skyrim project, but I've since removed it because it was seriously that revolting. Besides, I still had the issue with a guaranteed ctd to dragonsreach. Yeah, changed OS, to an ssd, new ram, not a damned thing installed (that was the first time the thing was installed after switch os, there would've been nothing left from before), and the issue persists. Why is this unique to me? Point is, I would never and could never make content for s#*! edition. What am I supposed to do about that?

I may have to make content for one of my other games, even though I haven't even tried to play most of them in years. I was thinking I may need to buy minecraft and play that. I've never played that game before, but even obscure channels seem to get a lot of views. Besides, honestly I was figuring if I wanted to make a game my job, it may be better to do it with one I have no emotional attachment to. Besides, I did think about switching over to it after the 1.4 update rendered me unable to play Terraria. Yes, I could just play terraria, but who would care to watch someone build things with wood and stone getting slaughtered by beginning enemies? Yes, 1.4 made the game that difficult. Days before, I could get up to the pillars, and had near end-game gear that was beyond what most people need. 1.4, that same character couldn't handle ANYTHING even with that op gear. Not everyone is a bloody pro, not everyone can 'git gud'. I've tried my damnest to complete the game for years and years and it was never enough, and now 1.4 has made it so I can't progress pass the beginning of the game.

Obviously, I can't just upload myself playing, I need to do something that my lack of ability won't affect. Mod reviews, builds in Minecraft. Of course, who knows if I could even survive in minecraft to get the materials I would need. Also, that would be rather repetitive. Thinking about it, how can I even do mod reviews when I haven't been able to complete the game in years? I've been trying to do that damned relic hunter challenge for so long, I've honestly forgotten how to play without it. I was thinking of recording myself doing my final run. Why not if it takes that much effort? I don't see how I could though. I'm either forced to restart due to missing an item, some staibility issue, or my build just sucks. It seems impossible to make it all the way through for one reason or another. How could I ever complete a freaking series?

If that wasn't all bad enough, there's also my speech impediment. Even my family struggles to understand me at times. How could I ever do a youtube channel when I can't even talk bloody right? I was looking into speech therapy a few months ago for this, but I couldn't find one and I was told online it was highly unlikely I could find a center willing to treat an adult. Also, I probably wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. Also, I don't trust the internet; I have been contemplating permanently disconnecting it. Must I really sell my soul just so I can eat? Every day I get more scared to even post online. Now, I've heard everyone's being accused of being either an Islamaphobe or an anti-Semite if they say ANYTHING about the war in Gaza. Its a terrifying time to be alive. Point is, I certainly don't want to be putting my voice online.

If I could, I would just do text, but youtube doesn't let you monetize that to try and thwart conspiracy channels. f*#@ my life. I may have no choice, but I'll probably drive people away. Who would listen to someone talk that's hard to understand?

I'm sorry, I'm really in a corner here. What can I do? I suck at gaming, I suffer from a speech impediment, and ever since that programming degree I don't trust the internet anymore. What can I do here? Yeah, I could chose a non-gaming topic, but nothing I'm interested in gets views. Minecraft may be my best chance. Maybe I'll make my own mods for it and demonstrate it; from what I've seen its stupid easy to do it. I mean, if you want to have all zombies spawn with diamond armor, it only takes a simple if-then statement. I would've thought it was far more complicated than that. Scan around the player periodically, check every entitiry's race, then what they have equipped in all slots. If they're a zombie without diamond armor in all their slots, then equip them with it. Yeah, far simpler than I would expect. Of course, this may be because I'm a certified programmer. Maybe its my calling. Who knows if I could play such a game though. I can't play Terraria, hell even Freedom Planet is too hard for me, a game famous for its difficulty. Could someone as cartoonishly bad as me handle minecraft?

[InDarkestNight]

Well, I've bought Minecraft. First new game I've bought in YEARS, and it was microsoft (f*#@ them). I bought the card from a gamestop, so I guess they didn't get any money directly from me. They already got their money when Gamestop bought that card from them, at least that's how I prefer to see it. Its downloading now. It'll be time before I start uploading videos. Still need to test out a lot of stuff, such as my recording software that came with my OS, and editting videos using Microsoft's slideshow over on my laptop. Guess its time to finally see how much money youtube actually makes. I thought for the longest time people only got a few cents per view on their videos, but I've been told that's well below what they actually get. Guess I'll see for myself now. It may not be enough to live off of, but I don't need that. Any extra money is enough. This will be the first time I actually make money. Yes, I've never been 'employed' my whole life. It'll be weird having an income of my own for once. At the same time, it'll be nice and it'll fit the life I have to lead. Let's see how far this goes.