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Tech NewsPrivacy and Security
This Is Almost Certainly James Comey’s Twitter Account
Digital security and its discontents—from Hillary Clinton’s emails to ransomware to Tor hacks—is in many ways one of the chief concerns of the contemporary FBI. So it makes sense that the bureau’s director, James Comey, would dip his toe into the digital torrent with a Twitter account. It also makes sense, given Comey’s high profile, … Continued
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Tech News
At the Last Minute, Trump Asks Nuclear Safety Administrator to Stick Around After All
After weeks of silence and uncertainty, the agency responsible for ensuring the safety of our nuclear arsenal finally has an answer to the question of who exactly is in charge under President Trump. Last night, just hours before Trump was to be sworn in, his transition team finally asked Under Secretary for Nuclear Security Frank … Continued
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Tech News
Senator Urges Trump Not to Let Nuclear Security Agency Go Leaderless
A United States senator on the Armed Services Committee is calling on the Trump transition team not to let the National Nuclear Security Administration, which manages the safety of the nation’s nuclear arsenal, go leaderless after this Friday. This morning, Sen. Martin Heinrich (D-NM) sent a letter to president-elect Trump imploring him to “immediately notify … Continued
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Tech News
Trump Is Letting Go the People in Charge of Maintaining Our Nuclear Arsenal [Updated]
Between the Trump transition team’s infighting, incompetence, and high-profile resignations, any decisions that signaled even a modicum of stability for the country would come as a relief at this point. Unfortunately, the nascent Trump Administration isn’t inclined to calm anyone’s nerves. According to an official within the Department of Energy, the Trump transition team has … Continued
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Tech NewsFacebook
The Bizarre World of Unsolicited Mark Zuckerberg Fan Art
Mark Zuckerberg, who made a fortune turning his own social anxieties into a website, is an odd person to fawn over. He’s not a great public speaker. His motivations are questionable. And he copied his fashion sensibilities from a likely sociopath. And yet! Some members of Facebook are enamored with him. So much so that … Continued
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Tech News
Stock Reaction Gifs Are for Idiots
Last week, Google released a new, gif-friendly keyboard that lets you choose from a selection of Fun animations. Perhaps you’re feeling particularly Mr. Bean-frowning-against-a-blue-background. Or maybe you’re in more of a you-go-glenn-coco-scene-from-Mean-Girls mood. That’s fine. But when it comes time to express those feelings, please, for the love of god, use your words. Because these … Continued
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Tech News
The Illuminati’s Secret Celebrity Murder and Cloning Centers, Explained
Have you ever noticed that, sometimes, a certain celebrity seems ever so slightly off? Maybe its an errant beauty mark or the fact that their eyelids have begun to blink sideways. You can feel in your heart that something’s just not right. That’s because your darling idol is dead. Don’t worry, though, because before they … Continued
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Tech NewsGoogle
These Shitty Memes Are More Embarrassing Than Anything Nest Has Done
Earlier today, Recode obtained some exclusive memes that offered insight into how Google’s employees really feel about Nest’s many, many problems. But while these disgruntled tech workers are busy lamenting the damage Nest has done to the Google name, they’re hurting themselves—and everyone they’ve ever loved—far more severely. With their embarrassing, shitty-ass memes. Putting aside … Continued
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Tech NewsFacebook
I Spent Six Hours Stalking Strangers on Facebook Live
Remember ChatRoulette? You’d log on, click through webcam feeds of obese men having sex with fruit, and walk away feeling like you’d finally made a human connection. Just take away the anonymity, the second camera, the sense of fate, and the fruit intercourse (for now) and you get Facebook Live’s new map—a digital panopticon fueled … Continued
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Tech News
This Plastic Surgery Smartphone Game Is a Great Way to Teach Kids Malpractice, Murder
Have you ever dreamt of being a plastic surgeon? Do you have a vague understanding of what and where your facial features are? Then according to “Plastic Surgery Simulator – Free Surgeon Games,” you’re already overqualified. Welcome to Crapp Store, a weekly-ish series in which we download and play the App Store’s alarming array of … Continued
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Tech News
The Pope’s Twitter Mentions Are a Living Hell
The internet is, generally speaking, a garbage dump suffused with vitriol and poison. “But surely,” some might ask, “the one, tiny corner of Twitter devoted to Cool Pope Francis would be a respite for our bitter, blackened hearts?” To which the answer is: of course not, no. Just yesterday Cool Pope Francis sent this unassuming … Continued
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Tech News
Website for Sale
Earlier today, a hand-addressed envelope found its way onto our desks here at Gawker Media headquarters. Inside, we found this: There is a website for sale. Do you have water to sell? Do you want to buy this website? Who is Dale? All questions we each must answer for ourselves. Anyway, the DOW dropped 500 … Continued
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Tech NewsApple
Where the Fuck Is My Upside-Down Emoji?
As far as third-party keyboards for iOS go, Swype is fantastic. It’s fast, it’s stable, and it knows all my little typing quirks. I’d never use anything else. And yet—I fucking hate it. Swype’s set of emojis are, for whatever reason, not compliant with Unicode’s latest set of emojis. Which means Swype does not offer … Continued
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Tech NewsFacebook
This Private Garfield Facebook Group Is the Last Irony-Free Place on the Internet
The people you meet on the internet are, for better or worse (just kidding it’s always for worse), probably not what they seem. Years of bile and racism and flamewars and the MTV show Catfish have seared this fact into our brains. Yet somehow, while the rest of our hearts hardened into stone, one quiet … Continued
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Tech News
Monkeys Can’t Stop Eating India’s Delicious Fiber Optic Cables
Right now, India’s in the middle of launching a massive, $18 billion plan to finally bring the country’s shoddy internet up to speed. There’s just one little problem: Adorable monkeys just can’t stop eating its delicious, delicious data cables. Specifically, its the 3,000 year-old holy city of Varanasi that’s having the hardest time getting an … Continued
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Reviews
Reviews of an Etsy Seller Who Poses Dead Mice As Pop Culture Icons
Beneath Etsy’s glitter-soaked, hand-stitched paisley exterior lies some of the weirdest, darkest wares the internet can offer. And in one of thee seedy offshoots, you will find some of the world’s biggest pop culture icons in the form of amateur, taxidermied mice. And people fucking love ‘em. All the mice you’ll see below were born … Continued
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Tech News
Photoshop Contest: Is There Anything Worse Than an iPad Selfie Stick?
Earlier today, we found a device that might be the very pinnacle of human garbage: theiPad Selfie Stick. But as we all know, things can always get worse. And that, dear readers, is where you come in. A few of you have already graced us with your wretched creations,seen here: And here: But let’s not … Continued
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Tech NewsDesign
Barbed Wire’s Dark, Deadly History
In the mid 1800s, not many (non-native) Americans had ever been west of the Mississippi. When Frederick Law Olmstead visited the west in the 1850s, he remarked that the plains looked like a sea of grasses that moved “in swells after a great storm.” Massive herds of buffalo wandered the plains. Cowboys shepherded cattle across … Continued
Roman Mars - 99% Invisible