Date Tuesday and Wednesday 06 and 07 September 2024. Love for my Father.
**A Father’s Battle: A Memoir**
My father, my guiding star, is fighting an unforgiving battle against fourth-stage lung cancer. When we first heard the diagnosis, it felt like the ground beneath our feet gave way. But we rallied, hoping that chemotherapy would be our saving grace. For a while, it seemed to work. His cancer shrunk to a mere 10%, and our hopes soared. Yet, like a cruel twist of fate, it returned within six months, more aggressive than ever.
The disease has stolen more than his health. It has taken bits of his memory and robbed him of his appetite for life. Yet, amidst the haze, he still remembers me—sometimes with clarity, other times like a distant dream.
Today was particularly tough. I watched him writhe in pain, every wince a dagger to my heart. I tried to give him his pain medication, but he pushed me away with words that cut deeper than any physical wound. In his pain, he cursed at me, demanded I leave his room. Hurt, I left, my heart heavy with a mix of sorrow and frustration. I wanted him to understand that my love is unwavering, hoping he might fear losing it and find strength in that fear.
In the stillness of the night, at 1 AM, I returned to his side. He was still awake, pain etched into every line of his face. This time, I dissolved the pain medication in water, coaxing him to take it. Miraculously, he did. My younger brother, Shiv Shankar, sat by his side, gently massaging his feet until sleep finally claimed him.
As I administered his medication, my emotions overwhelmed me. Tears, unbidden and unstoppable, flowed down my cheeks. And then, in a moment that felt almost magical, he was back—my father, the man who knew me better than anyone. He remembered that I rarely cry, and suddenly he was consoling me, assuring me with words of comfort, "I am with you. Don’t cry."
His reassurance was both a balm and a heartache. I have been his child, under his guidance and love, since the day I was born. The thought of losing him feels unimaginable, a void too vast to comprehend.
This journey is one of love and pain, intertwined in ways I never expected. Each day with him is a gift, a chance to be together, to hold onto the moments that define us as a family. I am learning, slowly, how to face the possibility of loss while cherishing the time we have left. In my father’s battle, I find strength in his resilience and a deeper understanding of the love that binds us together, forever.
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