The Best (And Worst) Dads And Daddies In Video Games

We’re kicking things off with one of the worst fathers in video games who also gives off extreme daddy energy. Professor Turo from Pokémon Violet is a terrible caregiver to his son Arven. The scientist is so obsessed with studying the future evolution of Pokémon that he neglects his son for years and ultimately is killed for his hubris. When he miraculously time travels and visits the future before his death, all he cares about is furthering his research, not seeing his son before he goes.

But goddamn, I felt a whole other kind of sexual awakening when Game Freak revealed him, so he has to go on the list as a video game daddy.

God of War’s Kratos has been a bad father. I mean, you can’t get much worse than killing your child, even if it was due to trickery by Ares. But the guy gets a shot at redemption in the 2018 reboot and its sequels. Though he is an asshole to his son Atreus at first, the two find common ground as the game goes on, and he’s shown to be capable of warmth and empathy, and proves that he will do anything to protect his son. God of War: Ragnarök focuses on too many characters as it expands the scope of the series beyond Kratos and Atreus’ relationship, but the two’s attempts at understanding one another are still the standout moments of that game. After the Valhalla DLC, Kratos seems to have gotten a decent head on his shoulders. Good dad. Finally.

Canonically, the King Koopa only has one son since Shigeru Miyamoto pulled a Maury and said “You are not the father” of the Koopalings. But even if he’s no longer paying for seven other kids’ child support, Bowser is still stepping up for his son Bowser Jr. Who could forget when Bowser learned to use the Switch parental controls app to ensure Bowser Jr. was developing a healthy relationship with video games and not playing games he shouldn’t at his impressionable age? Not enough parents have as much of an investment in their children’s interests, and Bowser is showing initiative here. Good for you, king.

Final Fantasy VII’s gatling gun-toting party member is the definition of “I’m not the stepdad, I’m the dad who stepped up.” A lesser man than Barret Wallace would have been so dedicated to his environmentalist cause that he’d forget about those right in front of him, but this absolute king cares so much for his adoptive daughter Marlene that she is always on his mind, even as he travels the world to stop Sephiroth and save the planet. He’s the definition of a good dad and also a good daddy (he’s hot).

The hero of the Yakuza series is the definition of positive masculinity. He’s a bit stoic, but is undyingly loyal, protective, and supportive of people growing into their best selves. He becomes a surrogate father to several orphans, including a young girl named Haruka. All of this culminates in a beautiful scene at the end of Like a Dragon: Gaiden, in which the kids update him on what’s gone on in their lives since he saved them, and my man bawls in one of the best ugly cries I’ve ever seen in a video game. That’s how you know Kazuma Kiryu made a positive impact on these kids’ lives. They’ve grown up to do incredible things, and none of it would have been possible had he not cared for them and abandoned his name and identity to protect them.

If your son is willing to fight through the horrors of the underworld just to escape your tyrannical rule, you’re probably a bad dad. Though Hades manages to reconcile with his son Zagreus by the end of Hades, you have to wonder how it got this bad in the first place. Sure, he apologizes and the two leave on better terms, but yikes.

He’s also daddy, though. So he’s on the list.

Thane Krios abandoned his son Kolyat to be an assassin, and as Mass Effect 2’s suicide mission looms over him, he’s looking to make amends. He doesn’t have a lot of time left regardless, as he’s been diagnosed with a terminal illness. But if you help him, he’s able to make the most of what time he still has with his son. Their reconciliation is beautiful, and culminates in one of the best moments in the trilogy in Mass Effect 3. It’s never too late to show up for your kids. Don’t be sorry, be better.

I can’t even tell you what Kerry Eurodyne’s kids’ names are in Cyberpunk 2077. Those kids are probably older than my Night City mercenary protagonist V is, but he’s still gonna be their stepdad. He barely sees them anyway and is content to send them on trips with their mother as long as he doesn’t have to show up. Meanwhile, I’m over here living my best life, pretending Meredith Blake from The Parent Trap won. Sorry to those kids looking for a father because Kerry Eurodyne is my daddy now.

The actual relationship between Cranky Kong and the titular gorilla in the Donkey Kong games has been inconsistent over the years. But whatever the actual blood relation or lack thereof is, Cranky Kong has been a paternal figure to DK and all his pals. The quirky and erratic old man is wise and disciplined to balance out Donkey Kong’s raw strength. It’s truly a shame we don’t get to play as the old man that often. Give him his own game, Nintendo.

Octodad, the star of Octodad and its sequel Dadliest Catch, is just a regular guy. He’s simply a hardworking father who does everything he can for his human wife and children, which isn’t weird because he is also a human man. He’s just doing the best he can for those kids, even if he sometimes gets clumsy and knocks furniture around and makes a mess. It’s a very normal thing for people with human extremities to do.

Tekken’s Heihachi is the most unambiguously toxic father on this list. This family is almost entirely defined by its internal rivalries and the fact that they love to throw each other off the side of cliffs. He’s a real bastard who hurts and betrays everyone around him, but you bet that won’t stop him from having children. As recently as this year’s Tekken 8, it’s been revealed that Heihachi has another child in Reina. He may not be good at being a father, but he’s at the very least efficient in becoming one.

Easily the most controversial father figure on this list, Joel from The Last of Us was an unambiguously good dad at one point in his life. He worked awful hours to try and provide for his daughter Sarah as a single dad, and she clearly adored him until she was killed in a senseless act of state violence. His relationship with his surrogate daughter, Ellie, in the post-apocalypse is far more complicated, and has been subject to heavy, even hostile debate since The Last of Us launched in 2013. The sequel and HBO show try to paint him as a more sympathetic figure, making explicit his misguided attempts at violence-driven love were just that, but ultimately, that’s not enough for those who have always viewed his actions in contempt.

But also, look at him. Daddy.