Dating apps can be the wild, wild west. Dodging ghosters and scammers can be exhausting. But what if you match with a friend — and, even more tantalizing, what if it's a same-sex friend you didn't realize was bisexual?
Over the next few months, Hinge will break down snags and myths bisexual daters face like this in its latest collection of NFAQs (not-so frequently asked questions).
"It's one thing spotting a friend on Hinge, but also having a crush on them and finding out they are bi can be super exciting," said Hinge's love and connections expert Moe Ari Brown. No matter your sexuality, matching with friends can be confusing. You may wonder if they matched merely because you know each other, or if they're harboring a crush on you as well.
Brown suggested starting with subtle flirting, because you can gauge their interest without being too forward. For example, compliment something on their profile that intrigues you. "You can comment on their Prompt, 'I really enjoy how interesting your stories are. Your mind works in beautiful ways,'" Brown said.
See where that takes you. If they shy away from your compliments, that could indicate that they want your relationship to stay platonic. But if they're receptive, you can turn things up a notch.
If you're feeling bold, you can be direct with your friend/match. "You could say something like, 'I am flirting with you, btw. I was so happy when we connected because I'd love to explore the attraction if the feeling is mutual,'" Brown said. "Ultimately, being clear and direct is so important."
The clearest way to express how you're feeling is to ask them out on a date. If you're not sure what to suggest, Brown advises starting with something casual like a coffee or walk.
"Almost half of Hinge bisexual daters who've never had a queer experience have expressed a feeling of nervousness when navigating open discussions," Brown said. "Make sure you are being respectful of your friend's feelings and boundaries."
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The most important thing, Brown continued, is to be genuine and respectful. They said, "If you're honest about your feelings, your friend will appreciate it, even if they don't share them."
It takes bravery to be this honest, so kudos if you ask your friend out, regardless of the response. Remember that, if they do decline your advances, to separate romantic rejection from self-worth. And know that there are other people out there — like the app where you and your friend matched.
