Is your relationship with your many dating apps starting to turn sour? You’re not alone.
The results of Match's annual Singles in America survey have just been released and they reveal a population that is increasingly burned out on hunting for love online. The data shows that 15 percent of the 5,509 single people surveyed describe themselves as addicted to dating apps. Not just, like, I use them a lot -- fully addicted. As in I can't put them down, even though the thrill is gone and they're driving me crazy.
For many who find they can't stop clicking and swiping, even though they've yet to find Mr. or Ms. Right, these findings are equal parts validating and disheartening. And they're particularly meaningful when you consider the study found that 40 percent of singles dated someone they met online last year.
Just how bad is it? One in six singles said they felt addicted, but millennials (those ages 18 to 36) are suffering acutely from this particular malaise. They are a whopping 125 percent more likely to feel addicted than those from older generations. Not surprising, when you consider how much more active most of them are on dating apps.
Interestingly, on the whole men are 97 percent more likely to say they’re addicted than women are. But the ladies haven’t been spared either. They’re 54 percent more likely to feel burned out by their dating lives. Millennials (of both sexes) were 36 percent more likely to suffer burn out than other generations. But they are also 30 percent more likely to want to find a relationship this year. It’s a tough spot to be in. Are you nodding your head in defeated agreement yet?
Dating apps may have forever changed the way we date, but they sure don’t seem to have made it any easier -- especially for millennials. In fact, they are 22 percent more likely to say that all the technology they have at their fingertips has actually made it harder to meet people IRL. Fifty nine percent of them also said it makes it more difficult to find real connections with other people.
Dating apps may have forever changed the way we date, but they sure don’t seem to have made it any easier.
All of this is giving millennials a bit of a complex. They are now 65 percent more likely than other singles to deem themselves lonely. They crave first dates more than those in other generations, even though 51 percent of them believe that going on a lot of dates doesn’t actually make it easier to find someone.
Social media-induced FOMO (fear of missing out) is messing with people too. The survey found that 57 percent of singles suffer from it (“Is everyone out there having amazing dates without me?”), and about half of them blame social media for making them more self-conscious about the way they look as well.
But even if you could quit all your dating apps and resign from social media entirely, would you be any happier? Probably not because it’s by far the most powerful way of connecting with potential mates. The survey found that last year those who dated online were 333 percent more likely to go on first dates than other people.
Only a measly six percent of survey respondents met their last first date at a bar. Compare that with the 40 percent who met theirs on a dating app. Though, interesting, 24 percent met theirs through a friend. So don’t give up hitting up your pals for intros.
Maybe the most messed up thing of all is that the survey found that no matter what, the key to not hate your dating apps is to go out on at least one date. Those who did were 30 percent less likely to be burned out on the process. Argh. The cycle continues.
While we may be increasingly addicted to online dating and ever more exhausted by the experience, that doesn't mean we'll necessarily stay fixated on swiping through a single app. Like an addict who's run out of their drug of choice, we'll just go looking to get our fix somewhere else.
So really the key here is for someone in the dating business to figure out how to make this process a lot less depressing or vastly more effective. There are changes happening every day -- will video profiles make screening easier? Will finding people who go to the same places you do help? Or is matching based on your mutual hatred better than your shared passions?
Only time will tell, but for the near term, we're stuck here in this vicious cycle. Tired of making profile after profile but unwilling to spend our lives alone.
