The 12-foot Home Depot skeleton lives in our head rent-free, and perhaps it lives in yours, too.
The Halloween decoration of the year (officially called the 12-foot Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes) is $300, enormous, and allegedly very difficult to assemble, but it also seems to be one of the country's only viable sources of serotonin. As of Sept. 29, the skeleton was sold out on the Home Depot website. That's a lot of people who strapped a 12-foot plastic skeleton to their car!
While you can't buy the skeleton directly from the retailer, you can find a few of them for resale on eBay. Unfortunately, they aren't cheap: At the time of writing, one auction was at $585 after multiple bids with no particular ceiling in sight; another was listed at $1,500.
If you'd prefer not to spend that much on a 12-foot skeleton, respect to you, and know that you can sign up to be alerted when it's back in stock at Home Depot. (You can also enter your zip code to see if it's in stock at a store near you.)
Here's the cold, dead truth, though: While no other decorative skeleton can live up to the Home Depot skeleton's piercing LCD eyes and strangely aggressive stance, it's pretty unlikely that you'll be able to scoop one up before Halloween.
With that in mind, we've compiled a few alternatives to the 12-foot skeleton below. They won't be the same, but perhaps they'll capture a similar vibe.
5-foot Pose-N-Stay Life Size Skeleton
If you really have your heart set on a skeleton with creepy lit-up eyes, consider this one from Amazon — which, admittedly, is only five feet tall. (It also comes with a pirate scarf for some reason.) This would make a great son for the 12-foot skeleton, if you happen to be able to acquire both.
8-foot Giant LED Spooky Tree
It's nice that there's a product out there called "spooky tree." This eight-foot wonder features 60 LED lights to scare passing children with ease, and is big enough to capture the same "too unwieldy to be worth the effort" energy of the 12-foot skeleton. It is also pretty ugly — perfect for Halloween!
12-foot Short Circuit Victorian Reaper Inflatable with Lightshow Projection
Here's another fun entry in the "12 feet tall" category. Gorgeous outfit! It's on sale, too: You'll pay $99, 23% off the list price of $129.99.
Moon Boat 13.94-foot Halloween Ghost Hanging Decoration
This 14-foot ghost is almost too scary to display. In fact, we do not like looking at it, even in a photo. It is very tall, though, which makes it a good 12-foot skeleton alternative.
79-inch Halloween Giant Spider Decorations with 200-inch Halloween Spider Web
You can also opt for a giant furry spider. This one is well-reviewed on Amazon, measures 79 inches in diameter and comes with a big netted web, because it needs somewhere to live. It's $25.99, but Amazon has an extra coupon for 5% off — you'll pay $24.69.
Of course, we'll update you if the 12-foot Home Depot skeleton is back in stock. We know that's what you actually want. (Us too.)