The best dating apps for introverts who prefer books to bars

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who it's for:

If you're an introverted liberal looking for a compatible partner who isn't afraid to talk about important issues, OkCupid might just be the dating app you've been waiting for. It's a community (we found a lot of 25-to-34-year-olds) where you can wear your heart on your sleeve, share your passions, and find someone who gets you, not just your photos.

Why we picked this:

OkCupid is by far one of the most popular liberal dating sites that isn't actually marketed as such (other political apps like Lefty, caniDate, and Liberal Hearts are pretty upfront about that). It stands out among dating platforms for its algorithms, formulas, and user-generated responses, making it a great option for introverts.

Unlike the fast-paced, swipe-centric dating apps (read: Tinder) that can feel draining for introverts, OkCupid encourages a more deliberate and thoughtful approach to online dating. You can take your time browsing profiles, engaging in meaningful conversations, and discovering shared interests before deciding whether or not you want to hop into bed with someone. It's a space where you can be yourself, find your people, and build relationships that matter.

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Read our full review of Match.

Who it's for:

Match is the best dating app for introverts who want to take it slow and meet real adults.

Most users are between 30 and 49, so you're likely to find people who are established in their careers, have a clear sense of who they are, and are looking for something meaningful. Plus, with the 50+ age group being the fastest-growing demographic on the app, Match offers a diverse pool of potential partners.

Why we picked this:

We chose Match as the top paid dating app for introverts because it understands that meaningful relationships take time. It's the Goldilocks of dating apps — not too casual, not too serious, but just right for building genuine connections at your own speed. With Jay Shetty, the renowned author and podcast host, as their new relationship advisor, you can expect even more guidance on finding your ideal partner, including how to build the perfect profile, get the conversation started, and more dating tips for introverts.

But even without Shetty's wisdom, Match is still a winner for introverts. Match's filtering options let you zero in on people who share your passions, whether it's books, board games, or obscure indie bands. That means you can skip the awkward small talk and have conversations that actually matter from the get-go.

Another one of Match's introvert-friendly features is Incognito Mode, which lets you browse profiles without anyone knowing you've checked them out. It's a great way to get a feel for the community and see who sparks your interest before putting yourself out there.

Read our full review of eharmony

Who it's for:

If your dating dreams involve more than just a fleeting summer romance, eharmony could be your ticket to lasting love. This app is designed for introverts who are ready to get serious and find someone who truly gets them – someone they can build a life with (whether it's moving in together or getting married).

And, although eharmony is historically a conservative dating site, the platform has been getting flack for veering off its traditional path and embracing more inclusive options such as same-sex matches (which is good news for the LGBTQ+ community).

Why we picked this:

We chose eharmony as the best dating app for marriage because it goes beyond surface-level swiping and focuses on long-term compatibility. It uses a super-smart matching system that looks at 32 different dimensions of compatibility. All you have to do is fill out their questionnaire, and boom, you'll start getting matches based on something more than superficial attraction.

The RelyID feature makes sure everyone on the app is legit, so you can breathe easy knowing you're not talking to bots or catfishers. Plus, their privacy settings keep your profile hidden from anyone you're not compatible with, which means you're less likely to get creepy messages from randos.

Who it's for:

If you're an introvert over 50 who knows that love doesn't have an expiration date, SilverSingles could be the place to meet your perfect match.

It's specifically designed for users who've got some life experience under their belts and aren't interested in playing games. Whether you're re-entering the dating scene after a long break or looking for marriage, SilverSingles can help you write the next chapter of your love story, proving that age is just a number when it comes to matters of the heart.

Why we picked this:

SilverSingles (a sister site of EliteSingles and Mashable's top pick for the best dating app for seniors) is designed for people over 50 looking for serious, meaningful relationships. It places a strong emphasis on compatibility and only shows three to five matches per day. This helps reduce stress and makes it easier to focus on the matches that are most likely to be a good fit.

Each SilverSingles profile includes a wealth of information, such as your personality type, interests, and relationship goals. This gives you a good understanding of each potential match before starting a conversation.

Read our full review of Bumble.

Who it's for:

Bumble is designed for women and non-binary individuals who want to take control of their dating experience. It empowers them to make the first move, providing a refreshing alternative to traditional dating apps.

With Bumble, women and non-binary folks can avoid the frustration of receiving spam messages or encountering inactive matches commonly found on other platforms. (And, if you're an introverted man, it takes the pressure off of having to come up with conversation starters.)

Why we picked this:

We chose Bumble because it flips the script on traditional dating dynamics, giving women and non-binary users the power to make the first move. This is a major win for introverts, as it takes the pressure off initiating conversations and allows for a more comfortable and controlled dating experience.

Bumble relaunched its "First Move" feature in April 2024, giving users new ways to break the ice. Women and non-binary people now have the option to set (or create) "Opening Moves," a question that all their matches can answer. That means no more awkward "hey..." messages.

Bumble works similarly to other dating apps but with some key differences. Matches expire after 24 hours, so you don't have to worry about a million unread messages piling up. This keeps things moving and prevents that overwhelming feeling of having too many options. Plus, with its new AI photo detector, you can feel more confident that the people you're chatting with are showing their true selves, too.

And for those times when you're not necessarily looking for romance, Bumble's got you covered. You can also try Bumble BFF for finding platonic friends and Bumble Bizz for networking.

Who it's for:

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a dating app for busy singles looking to build real connections with little to no effort. Most users are genuinely looking for something serious, so combining those factors means you'll find a lot of the young professional crowd in their late 20s and early 30s on this app. (It's kind of like EliteSingles for millennials.)

Why we picked this:

CMB uses an algorithm that considers factors from basic information (like location and age) to more nuanced criteria (like social network and interests) to match you with potential partners who align with your preferences. This thoughtful matching process helps introverts by reducing the need for extensive browsing and swiping, saving time and energy.

Instead of overwhelming users with endless choices, CMB curates a single match for each user daily. This approach allows for a more focused and deliberate dating experience, giving users time to fully consider each potential connection. Additionally, CMB provides icebreaker questions to facilitate a smooth initial conversation, and the chat room expires after seven days, encouraging users to move beyond the app and meet in person.

Read our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who it's for:

If you're a workaholic introvert, EliteSingles is the dating app for you. The platform is particularly popular among educated and relatively affluent adults aged 30 to 55. With a gender breakdown of 56 percent women and 44 percent men, EliteSingles offers a diverse user base of over 12 million individuals. In big cities like New York, you'll find up to 800,000 users — at least, according to EliteSingles itself.

If you're too career-focused and introverted to find a date offline, this is a decent place to start.

Why we picked this:

We chose EliteSingles as the best dating app for working professionals because it caters to people who value intelligence, ambition, and finding a partner who understands the hustle. But it's not just for career-driven folks – it's also a great fit for introverts looking for a deeper connection.

EliteSingles favors compatibility over swiping. After you sign up, you'll take a (surprisingly interesting) personality test that matches you with people who share your values, interests, and even your quirky sense of humor.

Since everyone on EliteSingles is looking for something a bit more substantial, you're less likely to encounter those dreaded one-word responses or endless small talk. Instead, you can connect with other professionals who understand your need for quiet nights after a long week at work. Plus, with a user base full of successful individuals from a variety of fields, you're more likely to find someone who gets the ups and downs of your career, too.

Who it's for:

Boo is ideal for introverts who are looking for a dating app that feels like a social networking experience. This platform understands that introverts thrive in intimate settings and value deeper connections over surface-level small talk.

It goes the extra mile by matching you with compatible individuals based on your personality type. Through an in-depth personality test, Boo delves into the depths of your character, ensuring you're connected with people who truly understand you.

Why we picked this:

If Twitter and Mastodon had a baby (and used Snapchat as its logo inspiration), it'd be Boo. This online dating site combines the best elements of both worlds, offering a unique blend of social networking and microblogging features.

Boo provides a more intimate and curated experience for those who thrive with quieter, more meaningful interactions. By joining themed communities, known as "universes," you can immerse yourself in topics and discussions that resonate with your passions.

Whether you're a bookworm seeking fellow literary enthusiasts, a gaming aficionado looking for teammates, or an art lover eager to connect with fellow creatives, Boo has a universe waiting for you.

Who it's for:

Lex is a social networking platform that welcomes anyone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community (though the user base does tend to skew towards lesbian and non-binary folks). It provides a platform for queer friendship and community building and expanding your social circle.

Instead of relying on swiping or selfies, the app encourages users to express themselves through personal "ads" and notes about their personality, interests, and the type of partner they're looking for.

Why we picked this:

Lex isn't your average dating app – it's more like a chill hangout spot for LGBTQ+ folks to connect and build community. There's no need to worry about perfect profile pics or witty opening lines. Just be yourself and see who you vibe with.

You can post, edit, and delete personal ads whenever you want, while also sharing your thoughts, interests, and desires. And though some folks were bummed when Lex shifted its focus from dating to friendship and community-building in early 2023, don't worry – the founder promises there's still plenty of room for raunchy posts.

“We encourage Lexers looking for dates and hookups to continue horny posting on Lex! It’s their space to connect for love, friendship, and more," Lex founder Kell Rakowski told TechCrunch.

The whole environment is low-key and low-pressure, which is perfect for introverts who feel overwhelmed by the typical dating scene. Plus, it's completely free, so there's nothing to lose.

Who it's for:

If you're a shy person who isn't too excited about putting yourself out there (for fear of ghosting, rejection, or awkward first dates), an AI dating app like Iris might be worth trying.

This AI dating app takes you through three phases of "tests" to see which facial features you find most attractive. It uses that information to handpick potential matches, increasing your chances of finding someone who sparks genuine attraction and igniting a connection without sifting through countless profiles.

Why we picked this:

Unlike traditional dating apps, Iris considers your preferences by learning what you like before you even start. And, in a creepy but cool way, it lets you upload photos of people you find attractive to create a more personalized matching experience (but only if you want to). And, to get to know you even better, it gives you the option to specify why you passed or liked someone's profile to refine your matches further.

But it's not all about looks. Iris also tries to get into your interests through fill-in-the-blank prompts and offers "flavors," essentially tags that let your profile speak for itself. It also introduces a TrustRating system, where the more complete your profile is, the higher your rating. Additionally, all users must undergo selfie verification to ensure authenticity.

We didn't like the geolocation feature, as it may show you matches way outside of your distance, but the creators believe that distance shouldn't be a barrier to finding true connections.

Who it's for:

Happn is a dating app for hopelessly romantic introverts who believe in the magic of missed connections. If you daydream about chance encounters and serendipitous meet-cutes, this app could be your digital fairy tale.

The app attracts a younger, swiping-oriented crowd, similar to other popular dating apps like Tinder. With around 70 million users and consistent monthly growth, happn has created a sizable user base that provides ample opportunities to discover and connect with people you've crossed paths with in the real world.

Why we picked this:

Believing in love at first sight is hard when you're too nervous about introducing yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you of other users nearby. This feature is particularly valuable for introverts who may struggle with approaching strangers in public settings.

Happn acts as a virtual wingman, alerting you to potential matches you've crossed paths with in everyday situations, such as on the train or in a coffee shop. If you want to find love in your community (and with people who potentially share similar hobbies and schedules), this is the app to start with.

Read our full review of Zoosk.

Who it's for:

Zoosk caters to a wide range of individuals, but it's far from a decent dating site. If you really feel like you're out of options, it works as a last-choice option for introverts who want to explore the world of online dating.

Why we don't recommend this:

The idea behind Zoosk is it starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or the rest of your life with, as the site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The only problem is there doesn't seem to be a bunch of humans actually using the website. Once you log on, you'll realize that while Zoosk may have been a great place to meet people in the past, it's now a shadow of its former self. 

Features like SuperSend, which blasts out a message to a ton of users at once, may technically start a conversation but are basically Zoosk's built-in version of a spam message. We can't imagine the introvert who'd want a bunch of people responding to them when they don't even know if they want to be talking to them in the first place. Zoosk's features, including messaging, are behind their sky-high subscription fees. For a site that doesn't feel current, we have a hard time recommending it.