Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely
On Wanting Solitude but Needing Human Connection
My thoughts on studies about longevity and happiness as I age
Studies show we need human connection. Even animals require touch, otherwise, they cannot thrive. So why do I enjoy being alone? I’m in my fifties and should have a wide social circle of friends and family (mine is teeny). Yet, I’ve no desire to expand my network.
An animal experiment captivated me as a psychology student. The Harlow study aimed to analyze mother and child bonding in rhesus monkeys. Researchers speculated that baby monkeys would have strong attachments with food-givers.
However, results showed the infants needed tactile comfort above all else. The news of them having to rely on surrogate mothers weighed heavy on my heart. Half made do with terry cloth mothers and the others with wire versions.
The soft cloth models were more like real caregivers than the wire alternatives, and this affected how well the infants coped. The latter group failed to socialize and exhibited timidity and other negative behaviors.
Harlow went further with his monkey experiments, isolating infants for up to a year. This time, the outcome was horrendous.
