Mickey Mouse is back! And this time, he's trading in his magic for a whole lot of "are you serious right now?!" Disney's "remake" of Castle of Illusion is less about rescuing Minnie and more about rescuing your sanity.

(Montage of Mickey bouncing off walls, falling into pits, and generally regretting every life decision that led him to this moment.)

Sure, it looks like a Disney dream. But underneath those adorable visuals lurks a platforming hellscape designed to make you question your gaming skills... and your will to live.

(Cut to Mickey attempting a simple jump, only to be thwarted by a strategically placed gust of wind or a rogue swarm of bees.)

Think you've mastered those jumps? Think again! Enemies respawn faster than you can say "Goofy," checkpoints are rarer than a Donald Duck smile, and falling means replaying entire levels. Because who needs progress when you can have frustration?

Enjoy unexpected difficulty spikes that'll make you wonder if the developers were secretly trained by ninjas. Seriously, this ain't no Mickey Mouse game!

Starring:

Mickey Mouse: Considering a career change.
Minnie Mouse: Filing for divorce.
And... Your Inner Child, Running Away to Join the Circus

Testimonials...

"This game is more stressful than a day at Disneyland with screaming kids." – A Parent with PTSD
"I've now developed a nervous twitch... in my ears." – A Gamer with Unique Symptoms
"Mickey's screams of frustration are the new Baby Shark." – A Tortured Parent

Castle of Illusion: It's like a Disney movie, except if the happy ending involved a straitjacket and a padded room. Oh boy!

(End on a shot of Mickey banging his head against a wall, muttering "Toodles" in a voice that suggests he's lost all hope.)

---

Ryan George Style Pitch Meeting

(Open on Ryan George, Game Designer, wearing a backwards baseball cap and a slightly-too-tight Mickey Mouse t-shirt, radiating nervous energy.)

Ryan (Game Designer): So, you have this... uh... Mickey Mouse platformer for me?

Ryan (Publisher): (Sans glasses, looking unimpressed) A platformer? With a mouse? For babies? And is that shirt supposed to be that tight?

Ryan (Game Designer): No sir! Well, yes to the shirt, it's supposed to be like this. But no to the babies! It's a remake! Of Castle of Illusion! Hand-painted backgrounds, 2.5D graphics! It's like, the original game, but like, a thousand times better! We even added a bunch of new stuff!

Ryan (Publisher): 2.5D? What the heck is that?

Ryan (Game Designer): 3D, but flatter! Classic Disney animation feel! We even got Mickey Mouse to do motion capture!

(Cut to Mickey Mouse, looking bewildered, strapped into a full-body mocap suit.)

Mickey Mouse: (Grumbling) This is completely unnecessary! I'm already animated!

(Cut back to the pitch meeting.)

Ryan (Publisher): Motion capture? For Mickey Mouse? Why?

Ryan (Game Designer): Because! He climbs a giant beanstalk, fights a terrifying jack-in-the-box! Minnie gets kidnapped by Mizrabel!

Ryan (Publisher): Mizrabel? Who's that, some kinda discount Maleficent?

Ryan (Game Designer): Uh... sure? She's an evil witch! She steals Minnie's beauty!

Ryan (Publisher): Stole her beauty? How?

Ryan (Game Designer): She kinda... sucks it out with magic? Super easy, barely an inconvenience!

Ryan (Publisher): Oh really?

Ryan (Game Designer): Mickey fights toys, jumps on cupcakes, swings on vines... It's a visual feast! The backgrounds are insane! Like, they're hand-painted!

Ryan (Publisher): Hand-painted, you say? That's... tight!

Ryan (Game Designer): Totally tight! And the music! Classic Disney tunes, remastered! It'll make you feel like a kid again!

Ryan (Publisher): Except for all the sobbing when they die repeatedly because this game is harder than trying to reason with Donald Duck, right?

Ryan (Game Designer): (Nervously) Uh... yeah, about that... it's a bit of a challenge. But that's what makes it fun! Right?

Ryan (Publisher): Fun? Or frustrating? Like, are there even checkpoints?

Ryan (Game Designer): Checkpoints? Psh, who needs those?! It's a classic platformer experience! You die, you start the whole level over! Super easy, barely an inconvenience!

Ryan (Publisher): Oh really?

Ryan (Game Designer): Yeah! It builds character! And resilience! And maybe a Mickey Mouse-induced masochistic mania!

Ryan (Publisher): What?!

Ryan (Game Designer): What?!

Ryan (Publisher): Well, okay then!

Ryan (Game Designer): Great! And there are these awesome boss fights! Like, there's this one where you fight a giant, creepy jack-in-the-box!

Ryan (Publisher): A giant jack-in-the-box? That's... tight! Does Mickey get a gun?

Ryan (Game Designer): No, he throws projectiles. Like apples and marbles.

Ryan (Publisher): Apples and marbles? What is this, a kindergarten playground?

Ryan (Game Designer): Hey, shut up! It's classic Mickey! And the level design is incredible! Like, there's this one part where you're running away from a giant rolling apple!

Ryan (Publisher): That works. Does Mickey save his girlfriend?

Ryan (Game Designer): Of course he does! He defeats Mizrabel, gets Minnie's beauty back, and they live happily ever after! Probably!

Ryan (Publisher): Wow wow wow. Wow. But hey, it's got Mickey Mouse! We'll sell a million copies!

(Both Ryans look at the camera, grinning.)

(Fade to black.)

(Ryan (Game Designer) pops back into frame.)

Ryan (Game Designer): Oh, and uh... super easy, barely an inconvenience! Just had to say it, you know, for the fans.

(He winks and disappears again.)

---

[Queen - I Want To Break Free/b]

I want to break free from these walls
These endless, repeating halls, I don't need you
I've got to break free
Goofy knows, Donald knows I want to break free

(Verse 2)
I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love with the exit door
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love, yeah
Minnie knows, Pluto knows I've fallen in love

(Verse 3)
It's strange but it's true, yeah
I can't get over the way you torture me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh, how I want to be free, baby
Oh, how I want to be free
Oh, how I want to break free

(Verse 4)
But the game still goes on
I can't get used to living without, living without
Living without a save point near
I don't want to start again, hey
Goofy knows, got to make it on my own
So Sega, can't you see?
I've got to break free

(Chorus)
I've got to break free
I want to break free, yeah
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free

(Guitar Solo - frantic, 8-bit style)

(Bridge)
I want to break free
From these jumps that make me bleed
(Not literally, I'm a cartoon!)
These enemies are mocking me
I've got to break free

Goofy knows, Donald knows I want to break free!
(Fade out with Mickey's desperate cry of "Oh, Toodles!" [/i]

---

🔥 Mickey's Mayhem: This Game's a Riot! 🔥

(In a chaotic, shouty voice, like Jinx after accidentally setting off a fireworks display in her living room)

Mickey's back, but somethin' ain't right! 😈
This game's a freakin' wild ride! 💥
Jumps are CRAZY, enemies are RUDE, 😠
No checkpoints, what a bad mood! 👿

Giant apples, they chase and CRUSH! 🍎💥
Mickey yells, "OH BOY!" (turns to mush!) 🐭💥
Bouncy mushrooms, a total JOKE! 🍄😂
Swinging vines? More like swinging DOOM! 🌴💀

So if you're lookin' for a good time, 😎
Look elsewhere, this game's a crime! 👮‍♀️🚨
Mickey's mayhem, a castle of PAIN! 🏰💥
💥 BOOM! 💥 (And that's the TRUTH!) 💣💥

I played it when I was young, but I couldn't finish it because of the last boss

And now after 21 years
i play the game again and defeated him

I didn't even feel the game
It ended quickly

It reminded me of a lot of memories
I loved it

I hope it comes out on PS4/5 so that the console community can play it
Because they love games of this type

I highly recommend it

One of the best mickey mouse games. It looks amazing. it has short levels but it makes it up with the exploration. its easy but in a good way. the bosses are creative even though they are all defeated by jumping on their heads. this game feels like your playing a movie with the style and narrator. and just overall a great game.