I played EU4 much closer to release and logged most of my 300+ hours then. Really enjoyed it. Understood it. Loved it. If I reviewed it then it would have been a positive review. But I am reviewing it now after trying to pick it up again after a couple year break and will be submitting this review based on my recent experience which was... not great.

So I reinstalled EU4 thinking with over 300 hours in the game I should be able to pick it up relatively easy. Nope. Spent an hour and change clicking around different menus before quitting in confusion. It's a dense game, okay. Spent an hour and a half on the wiki, looking up general information, trying to familiarize myself with EU4 again. Next day, better idea of what's going on, I log in and spend half an hour looking through different menus before again quitting in confusion. Lot has changed since the last time I played.

Okay, I watch the first part of a a let's play starter guide for Brandenburg. I played them before, did a partial world conquest years ago, I have been staring at their menus for almost 2 hours at this point, it should be easy to follow. And it is! I write down everything the streamer does thinking I will analyze what all the options mean and try to piece out why those were good decisions. I go into the game, start following the list, and one of the estate options I am supposed to do is not in my game. Apparently it's specific to the domination DLC. $20 bucks. Hmm. Oh well, keep calm and carry on. I can probably still follow this guide and get a feel for the game. Hm. One of the diplomatic options the streamer uses, 'curry favor' is not in my game. Apparently that's specific to the leviathan DLC. $20 bucks. Wait - I think my mission tree options look different than his mission tree options. Yes, locked behind specific DLCs, there, too. And that's my breaking point. Quit out. Uninstall. Decide to write this review to vent my frustration.

I am betting EU4 is still a fantastic game for those that have been consistently playing and keeping up with the DLC as they come out, learning little by little what's changed. If you are looking to play EU4 now after a long break, though, just don't. If you are looking to get into EU4 for the first time, just don't. At the same time it's somehow become both bloated and chopped up through DLCs. So unless you want to get the EU4 subscription service - which I think is an awful model for the video game industry to adopt - the game just isn't playable. Such a frustrating shame.

Yes

Si pudiera retroceder en el tiempo como lo hace este maldito juego, nunca lo habría comprado. Europa Universalis IV no es solo un juego, es una trampa infernal diseñada para consumir cada aspecto de tu vida hasta que no quede nada.

Al principio, parece inofensivo: un gran mapa, muchas naciones, la promesa de estrategia profunda... Pero no te dejes engañar. Este juego es un agujero negro de tiempo y cordura. Una vez que entras, olvídate de todo lo demás. Adiós amigos, adiós familia, adiós estabilidad emocional.

Mi matrimonio no sobrevivió a mis sesiones de madrugada gestionando el comercio en Lübeck. Mi esposa se cansó de oírme gritar sobre tratados de paz injustos y coaliciones incontrolables. Mis amigos dejaron de invitarme a salir porque cada conversación giraba en torno a las reformas internas del Sacro Imperio Romano. Mi jefe me despidió tras pillarme diseñando estrategias para la unificación de Italia en plena reunión.

Y mi salud… ni hablar. Ojeras permanentes, ansiedad por guerras inesperadas, dolores de cabeza por cálculos de impuestos provinciales, insomnio provocado por revueltas campesinas en mi imperio virtual. Me miro en el espejo y no reconozco al hombre que era antes de esta maldita obsesión.

Europa Universalis IV no es solo un juego, es un parásito. Un virus que se apodera de tu cerebro y no te deja pensar en nada más. No lo compres, no lo juegues. Huye mientras puedas.