I had high hopes for *Gocco of War*, having kept an eye on it for years. After finally picking it up during a sale for $18, I was eager to see if it lived up to its potential. Regrettably, the game quickly revealed itself to be a frustrating disappointment, marred by numerous issues that make it difficult to recommend.


From the outset, *Gocco of War* is plagued by technical problems. Performance issues are rampant, with frequent frame rate drops and lag that undermine the gameplay experience. The lack of graphics options further exacerbates these issues, leaving players unable to adjust settings for better performance.

The controls are a significant pain point. Despite the game’s focus on third-person shooting, akin to a PG-rated *Gears of War*, aiming is awkward and unresponsive. There is no native controller support, and using Steam’s controller support often leads to bugs that prevent weapon usage until you switch to a keyboard and mouse. This lack of flexibility and polish is frustrating and detracts from the intended experience.

The user interface is equally cumbersome. While the main menu does offer options, they can only be accessed via keyboard and cannot be adjusted during gameplay. This limitation adds another layer of annoyance to an already frustrating experience.


*Gocco of War* struggles to deliver a satisfying gameplay experience:

Repetitive and Tedious: The missions quickly become monotonous, with repetitive tasks and battles that drag on. The game’s grind-heavy mechanics, including excessive material collection and crafting, make the experience feel like a never-ending chore. The crafting system is particularly tedious, requiring players to gather materials and upgrade items in a process that feels more like a grind than a fun feature.

Combat System: The game’s attempt to replicate the cover-based shooting mechanics of *Gears of War* falls flat. The shooting mechanics are simplistic and lack depth, resulting in a gameplay experience that feels uninspired and derivative. The absence of a sprint function exacerbates the slow pace, making combat encounters feel drawn-out and frustrating.

AI and Allies: The CPU allies are poorly designed and often unhelpful. They frequently freeze up and get stuck, making them more of a hindrance than a help. Additionally, I encountered multiple issues where I couldn’t use my weapons at all due to bugs unrelated to ally behavior. For instance, a door that required me to “pump air” into it to open was unresponsive, and I had to rely on a workaround—warping to a nearby cliff and jumping to force my way to the key. This was just one of many instances highlighting the game’s frustrating design flaws.


While *Gocco of War* offers a variety of customization options, they do little to compensate for the game’s numerous shortcomings:

Customization Issues: Despite featuring over 350 garments and 13 weapon types, the crafting and upgrading processes feel like a forced grind. The excessive focus on material collection and crafting is tedious and fails to add meaningful enjoyment to the game.

Story and Setting: Although there are glimpses of interesting storytelling and setting, these elements are overshadowed by the game’s technical problems and repetitive gameplay. The narrative potential is lost amid the sea of bugs and design flaws.


*Gocco of War* had the potential to be a charming and engaging game but ultimately falls short of its promise. The game is marred by game-breaking bugs, poor performance, and frustrating mechanics. Its attempt to emulate the cover-based shooting mechanics of *Gears of War* ends up feeling like a pale imitation, and the lack of controller support, awkward aiming, and slow pace further detract from the experience. The $18 price tag feels unjustified given the game’s current state, and the outdated mechanics and lack of online activity only add to the disappointment.

In its current form, *Gocco of War* is not recommended. It feels more like a poorly executed cash grab than a polished, enjoyable game. If you’re considering it, be prepared for a frustrating experience that fails to live up to its potential.

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Title: Gears of War Takes on Gocco of War

[Scene: The Gears of War crew—Marcus Fenix, Dom Santiago, Baird, Cole, Anya Stroud, and Sam Byrne—are gathered around a console in their war-torn base. They’ve just booted up Gocco of War. The screen shows vibrant, cartoonish graphics, and the gang looks skeptical.]

Marcus Fenix: [squinting at the screen] What the hell is this? It’s like if Gears of War had a mid-life crisis and decided to go on a kid’s TV show.

Dom Santiago: [frowning] I was expecting some intense cover-based shooting. This… this looks like a children’s playground with weapons.

Sam Byrne: [mocking tone] What, you afraid a bunch of toddlers in capes are gonna beat you, Dom? [She winks as she spams the "wave" emote in-game.]

Baird: [examining the controls] Alright, let’s see what we’re working with. [He tries to aim but the crosshair jitters around] What the f***? This aiming system is like trying to throw darts after ten beers.

Anya Stroud: [calmly but unimpressed] I was hoping for some tactical gameplay. Instead, I’m being outsmarted by… this. [She watches as her character spins aimlessly because of slow aim speed.]

Cole: [enthusiastically] Yo! I just made my dude do the floss. Check it! [He flails his character’s arms wildly, triggering a dance emote.]

Marcus: [sighing] I just tried to take cover, and my guy decided to break into dance instead. Great. Exactly what we need in the middle of an imaginary war.

Dom: [frustrated] No sprinting either? How are we supposed to get anywhere when we’re moving slower than a Brumak in quicksand?

Sam: [laughing] Well, it’s not like the allies are in any rush. They keep getting stuck on the same rock. [Her character’s AI companion is frozen in place, staring into space.]

Baird: [deadpan] I’ve seen more action out of a potato. At least that’s useful for cooking.

Anya: [trying to reload her weapon] Wait, now my weapon doesn’t work. Did it just… break for no reason? I can’t even shoot!

Sam: [sarcastic] Gotta love when a game just decides you don’t need weapons anymore. It’s fine—just punch the enemies! That’ll definitely work.

Marcus: [rolling his eyes] The name’s suspicious too—“Gocco of War?” Like they’re trying to be Gears of War for kids but without, you know, the fun. It’s like a discount PG version.

Dom: [shaking his head] The crafting’s boring, the levels drag on, and it’s like they put the same fight on repeat. I’d rather chainsaw a Locust in the face.

Cole: [laughing] Or maybe Gocco of War is just prepping us for our retirement home. Slow pace, no sprint, repeating the same tasks—sounds about right.

Baird: [sarcastically] Yeah, because nothing says “war” like “pump this door full of air to open it.” Took me ten tries, and then it didn’t even work!

Sam: [smirking] I had to glitch my way through a wall just to get the key. Skills, baby. Or just bad design. Either way.

Anya: [shrugging] Well, at least the storytelling’s kinda interesting. Too bad the game itself makes you work so hard to care.

Marcus: [grinning sarcastically] Yup. If I wanted to fight bad AI and broken controls, I’d… oh wait, I do that every day.

Cole: [waving his arms in-game] Woo! I just unlocked a dance move. Look at me go! If the enemies don’t die, at least they’ll cringe.

Marcus: [deadpan] Let’s get back to fighting real wars. This one’s too buggy for me.

[The team laughs and exits the game, leaving the screen filled with colorful characters and a giant “Game Over” message.]

[End Scene]