Steam Community :: Group :: Mad 'cause Bad

as you know, the l4d2 community is full of big egos and everyone seems in a state of butthurtness 24/7. unfortunately, whenever i see someone blow a fuze i always see low quality banter that just makes me want to cringe; so i want so set some good rules for how to be the archbishop of banterbury and make your enemies really upset.

getting your enemies angry is a legitimate strat, they are more likely to make mistakes without a cool head of course. i have beaten many teams with pubbers because i was able to shut down somebody's ego and make them cannabalize themself. i founded this group for that reason. being able to get in someone's head is a skill that will be universally helpful for any multiplayer game, and you will record epic chatlogs of people making fools of themself and get all the upbotes on rebbit.

i have gotten thousands of flames/haccusations from pwnt n00bs in many games. i also got a half minute long vocaroo clip from a loser ranting long after the match had finished. the following techniques will cover all the important parts of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on people.

note
this could also be some guides on how to not be a victim of online bullying but if you are a victim of online bullying you are probably a massive queer anyway so gtfo of my group page you human waste

on the offensive :
1: keep it simple.
don't write walls of text. if you are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on someone, they probably already know it in the backs of their heads, so you can allchat something like "lol" or a simple ":)" after you undeniably outplay them. as a rule of thumb, if your message has word wrap it's too long and you need to focus on helping ur team.

2: don't stop.
as long as you are in a position where you are winning and doing better than your ♥♥♥♥-talkee, don't stop flapping your big ♥♥♥♥♥♥ mouth. even if they are saying nothing (they should clam up while losing) be assured they are reading everything you say and probably biting their lip with tears in their eyes.

3: don't say the same thing
nice you skeeted him 20 minutes ago now shut the ♥♥♥♥ up nobody cares
do something else impressive and don't cling to what (probably didnt even)
happened already.

4: don't make accusitions of what their behaviour in real life is
if you say things like "you probably have sex with your hand every afternoon" you just come off as a sperg and everyone will think you're a ♥♥♥. so don't. calling someone a virgin is pretty simple, but if you don't focus on what's actually happening in the game, that you KNOW is true, you aren't doing anything at all. also, it's pointless to take stabs at what you think their hobbies might be, even if socially unacceptable. "you like ponies? what a manchild" the person who has a horse avatar obviously doesn't care so this is a pointless attack.

on the defensive:
1: do not make excuses for yourself!!
this is very important. if you didn't pull something off perfectly and got slapped or your team was doing a bad job and you took a fall because of it, DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES; "you only killed me because my team blah blah" just comes off as a whining ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and you will be shat upon further. it is just giving your opponent more material to work with.

2: stfu
stop talking and play game. while they are spamming chat with flames, you can disregard most of what they say until they make a mistake, and then you're on offense again, hurray

3: don't get tunnel vision
if you are actively seeking them out and only them, you are admitting that they are bothering you to them. in fact, this is practically the same as part 1; you simply need to show them that you don't care about what they are saying.

4: don't call them out
not even in team chat. chances are someone on your team thinks you getting ♥♥♥♥ on is hilarious, so they will post your team message "that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ shot me through the wall again, think he is cheating?" in allchat and have a good laff. at the expense of you. because you're clearly butthurt.

5: don't try to laugh it off
these people aren't your friends. if you try to be nice and have a good time ♥♥♥♥ YOU YOU WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME THEN PLAY SINGLE PLAYER THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS GAME YOU MORON. they won't stop flaming you and if you use self-deprecative humour prepare to be their next bind to spam.

RAGEQUIT ETIQUTTE
so you can't take it anymore and you have to disconnect to go slit your wrists.

don't teamkill. unless your team was also being giant knobs. but if your enemy is on the other team, don't take out friendlies lmao
don't teamswitch. if you do this you accept you can't win fair and square, and everyone knows you're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥. even u. and you will be kicked and the match restarted, you accomplished nothing but everyone thinks you are mad and bad.
don't go pretend afk. it's obvious what you are doing, and you are just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ up the game for the rest of the players.
play till the end of the round. if you disconnect at a loadscreen, nobody can argue that you RQ'd.

SOMEBODY RAGEQUITTED!
send them a group invite obviously
and comment on their page that they are a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ if u can, but again; keep it simple
don't write a novel about everything you/they did, a simple "why did you disconnect? madcosbad?" works wonders.

that's all i can think of now