Wear a pickelhaube or face our wrath!

We are here to free you from boring hat oppression. If you wear a pickelhaube you will never be that guy or gal who gets looked at like "Look at that boring person, they are probably broke since they don't have a cool looking hat." Join and you will NEVER face hat poverty. You will have a job that puts hats on the table. You're family will be the building blocks to our rising empire. Join and you will be victorious and triumphant against any rising aggression or enemy.