Miraxis's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:23pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:58pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:03pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 11:08pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 12:52am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2015 @ 3:53am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:24pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 12:01am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 1:40am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 6:35am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 8:23am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2015 @ 4:29am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2015 @ 6:10am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 2:46am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 5:11am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 7:09am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 12:29am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:32pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 8:19am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:41pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:56pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 5:22am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 12:42am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 7:00am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 7:46am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2015 @ 4:33am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:03pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 5:25am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:50pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 12:38am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2015 @ 4:00am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 6:23am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:38pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 6:37am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 11:26pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:26pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 12:07am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:20pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:06pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:21pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:30pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 6:17am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:12pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 6:49am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 9:26pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 3 Jun, 2015 @ 10:28pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 7:31am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 2:10am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 1:55am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 4 Jun, 2015 @ 7:49am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 6 Jun, 2015 @ 6:11am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

21 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

9 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

15 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30