"I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness."

"People bully me, and say things like “What the ♥♥♥♥, you aren’t a Pringle”, but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty. I have already started hiding in cylindrical containers all day, and now im improving my crunchiness by regularly burning my sides on the stove. I want you guys to respect my natural ability to instantly satisfy low-salt carb cravings, and if you don’t you are oppressing me, and you should check your diabetes type."

~> || ~ reddit /u/ SecretOfTheOdds ~ || <~

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~TWTR~
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