Recent reviews by YAHWEH

💎 Smite 2: From Battleground of the Gods to Discount Dumpster 💎

Let’s talk about Legacy Gems, the scam that keeps on scamming. Marketed as a “50% discount,” these gems are nothing more than a smokescreen for inflated prices. That Aphrodite skin? 800 diamonds + 800 Legacy Gems. Translation: it’s still overpriced trash nobody asked for. Thanatos? A $12 skin from Smite 1 magically transforms into $24, but fear not, Legacy Gems are here to gaslight you into thinking you’re saving money.

The math doesn’t math. Doubling prices just to slap on a “discount” is peak audacity. And once those Legacy Gems run dry? Enjoy paying $9 for four basic mastery recolors that were free in Smite 1. This isn’t a battleground anymore; it’s a runway of overpriced mediocrity.

And speaking of runways, Smite 2 leans hard into its “Runway of Homosexuality” era. Thanatos got a trans makeover—twice in Smite 1, it will happen again. Aladdin joined the roster (still not a god, btw). What’s next? Puff Diddy and James Charles as playable characters?

💔 Verdict: Save your money and your dignity. Smite 2 is a cash grab wrapped in glitter.

boring

🌈✨ Eternal Strands: Woke Wonderland or DEI Overdrive? ✨🌈
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when Forspoken and Dustborn have a chaotic, politically-charged lovechild, Eternal Strands is your answer. This demo feels less like a game and more like a PowerPoint presentation on why "the evil patriarchy" is the final boss of humanity. Subtlety? Never heard of her.

Visually, it’s giving 2025 Unreal Engine 5 starter pack—polished, but soulless. Think “tech demo with a cause.” Sure, it’s pretty, but when the substance is as dry as a lecture on gender studies 101, who cares if the lighting bounces realistically off the protagonist’s tears of oppression?

Gameplay? Oh, honey, don’t bother looking for it. Instead, buckle up for a dating sim masquerading as a manifesto, where 60% of your time is spent navigating “meaningful” dialogue about systemic injustice. Spoiler alert: white men are the villains (again), minorities are oppressed (again), and pronouns are mandatory.

The cherry on top? A lesbian cosplaying as a man whose pronouns are a plot point. Because nothing screams "immersive storytelling" like a checklist of social justice tropes. And just when you think it can’t get any more on the nose, Eternal Strands doubles down with the kind of narrative that makes Forspoken look like it was ghostwritten by Hemingway.

To the devs: we get it. The world is unfair, and you have a message. But maybe next time, try weaving it into a story without bashing us over the head with it. Until then, this one’s staying in the demo graveyard.
👠 Verdict: Eternal Strands—where gaming goes to preach, and fun gets canceled.

Don't waste your time guys.
Ubisoft deserves what's coming.

Potion Craft: Alchemist Simulator is just chef's kiss. The music, the art, the dialogue, it all fits together so perfectly. You really feel like THE Alchemist, with total freedom to personalize everything: bottles, labels, potion names, and even their little backstories. There are infinite ways to mix and match recipes, and honestly, messing up is half the fun. This game is a total vibe, and I can’t get enough of it!

gay

Rats, surveilled by FATE, controlled by The Puppeteer, who in his own definition is a product of FATE.

~Unknowingly

Ankhs go brrrrrrrrrr

No

No