𝙏𝙊 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙈𝙔 𝙀𝙉𝙀𝙈𝙄𝙀𝙎: See you at the murder scene!
I'm never pregnant, but I always deliver!
I did 9 years in the military... you're welcome for my service.
I am also a veteran of foreign war video games
I'm the sort of person who would wake up my family to tell them i'm going to sleep
HOW TO FIND OUT
𝙈𝙔 𝙂𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙋𝘼 - 𝙈𝙔 𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙋𝙄𝙍𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 -- 𝙍.𝙄.𝙋
𝙈𝙔 𝙂𝙍𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙋𝘼 DOING UBER
𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨!
𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚. 𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝘿𝙊𝙓 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤!
MY RECENT BIRTHDAY PARTY

"I don't know why people quote something I never said" - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I TOLD MY WIFE ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE:
ME: *walks into the room*
"Honey, the climate is changing"
Wife: *screams*

"With no power, comes no responsibility." - Uncle Ben, Spiderman