- My life as you know began as a ninja. There's too much to explain since I'm usually doing many things and killing several hundred people at one given time. My life started out as an embryo actually, I skipped the zygote phase entirely, and I'm the reason for most abortions. I'm a ninja embryo that has had training to become the number one most trusted killer of fetus's. I'm the only 100% proven abortion technique.

- Aside from killing to make a living, I have plenty of other things that I enjoy doing. Somedays I will go to Africa and tell them the truth about the dots in the sky at night. Those aren't actually stars in the galaxy, as what modern theory tells you, they are actually giraffes that have solar powered flash lights attached to them. I don't understand who keeps telling these people lies.

- From time to time, I fight to free the dinosaurs. There are still dinosaurs roaming around in Antarctica. Many people say that the dinosaurs are now extinct. Well, until you go to Antarctica, and witness the glory and beauty of these once cherished creatures, you have no right to say they don't exist or don't deserve their freedom. That's like saying birds can fly, and cherries aren't strawberries.

- I do believe that people have gotten lazy since the technology advancements. Whatever happened to teleporting? Ever since the vehicle came out, no one does it anymore. When was the last time you saw anyone do it? I rest my case.


- Sometimes I cross the Mexican border to reproduce with toilets.