MY HOLLOWED SOUL
by existance

-INTRODUCTION-

R1 spammers… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of R1 spammers. Particularly John, chipsofbag, and space.

It has made me realize just how brutal and twisted humanity is as a species. All I ever wanted was to fit in and have a balanced dueling session within the souls community, but I was cast out and rejected, made a fool, and forced to endure an existence of being parried. All because my friends decide to use ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ weapons and lag to their advantage.

This is the story of how I, Visholin, came to be. This is the story of my entire playthrough. It is a dark story of sadness, anger, and hatred. It is a story of a war against cruel injustice. In this magnificent story, I will disclose every single detail about my playthrough, every single significant experience that I have pulled from my superior memory, as well as how those experiences have shaped my views of the game.

This tragedy did not have to happen. I didn’t want things to turn out this way, but they forced my hand, and this story will explain why. My game experience didn’t start out dark and twisted. I started out as a happy and blissful player, playing the game the way I wanted to in which I thought was good and pure.
PART ONE
-A BLISSFUL BEGINNING-

On the early morning of April 12, 2016, my character was created. My ashen one breathed his first virtual breath in the souls universe at the young level of 8. Just witnessing the birth of my new avatar, I named him Visholin.

Visholin was named after my previous RPG characters. He had a strong lineage of virtual ancestors sharing the same name that spanned across different game universes. Hailing from such a prestigious RPG name background, I could not have been more convinced that he had a promising future as a skilled PVP duelist.

Coming from the previous game, I couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions as I finalized Visholin in character creation. All the knowledge of the game mechanics I had in the previous games were about to replaced or at very least tested. I was about to start a new adventure. Nervous and excited, I clicked accept and the introductory cutscene began to play.
PART TWO
-LEVELING UP-

The introductory areas were like a dimension between worlds. I was on my way to new potential PVP oppurtunities. But none of that went through my level 8 head at the time. I was thinking about getting to the end.

I grinded through most of the journey towards that goal, and I can remember looking out towards Undead Settlement from Vordt's lair. I wondered what it would be like to go down there and run along the area that lay before me, not realizing the fact that I soon would. It was this sense of discovery that propelled me forward.
PART THREE
-END GAME-

Nearly 100 hours into the game, I had reached the level 120 meta. I was excited and ready to do a lot of PvPing. Balanced and fun gameplay was what I thought awaited. How far off the mark I was with that assumption, however..

Instead, what awaited for me was darkmoon blade infused gotthard twinswords, flaming washing poles, and dark blades. It was funny in the beginning, dying constantly to it. But after awhile,
it broke me.

The hollowed husk that is my character is testament to this. Having not a single dark sigil in my inventory, my character still began to hollow. Why, you ask? Because of them. The stress that was put on my character from the countless defeats was far too great for him.

Instead of helping my character become stronger, they laughed. John, chips, and space - they did nothing but laugh and jeer at me. In one instance, Kirei squatted down to meet eyes with fallen Visholin. Being truly connected to my avatar, I was capable of seeing through Visholin's eyes and in that moment I saw nothing but contempt in Kirei's face. But that wasn't all. As I peered into that sneering face, I could see it. I swear. I saw John's eyes within the eyes of Kirei's rendered model. He was clearly looking down on me. That was the moment my autism went off the charts.
PART FOUR
-REVENGE-


All I ever wanted was to win, and in turn to be allowed to win. However, their behavior towards me has only earned my hatred, and rightfully so! I am the true victim in all of this. I am the good guy. These three struck at me first by condemning me to experience so much suffering. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. I didn’t start this war… I wasn’t the one who struck first… But I will finish it by striking back. I will punish everyone. And it will be beautiful. Finally, at long last, I will show them my true worth.