My fellow brothers and sisters, let me tell you what I know about how to experience our holy father and his good book in a way that will stay inside of you and flow through your veins!

A few times a day when I can feel myself straying from Jehovah’s holy light, I’ll make a 777 photo copies of one of my favorite verses (always from Proverbs or the New Testament of course). I’ve found that the red words of Jesus work best when my heart is at its heaviest.

Then I’ll place the copies in a 5 gallon bucket and bless them with holy fire so that all that’s left is the ashes of God’s word. But brother, his words need no shape or form to be the ultimate truth!

Then I’ll mix the ashes with a liquid based conduit (heroin works fine). Then I’ll put it in a needle and push the holy ashes into my veins and LET ME TELL YOU BROTHER YOU WILL FEEL THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY INSIDE OF YOU!!!

It is THE best feeling I’ve experienced in my humble life, and I can only thank our savior for making my life so full of pleasure. I know that when I pass into the by and by, there will be even greater treasures awaiting in heaven.