Aurelia
Zeal   United States
 
 
Lost in Paradise.



From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—
My Personal Space
:pinkheart::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly: Welcome to my world of dreams and eternal wandering :butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::butterfly::pinkheart:

Gaming
I'm into RPGs, Open world sandbox games, and the occasional miscellaneous. I'm generally open to new experiences, but I find it difficult to really enjoy much these days. I quickly grow bored and move on. Space, sci-fi, low-mid fantasy, psychological, horror, and super-natural are my notable genres or interest.

I will not likely play a game that does not have some sort of character focus. If i cannot feel like i'm existing in the game world in a tangible form, then it's a hard pass.
Character creation and customization are also a very vital interest point. While it is not a deal breaker if a game does not have it, i tend to gravitate towards those that do.

Solo:
Above all else, I love RPGs and Open world sandbox games, particularly ones with user-creation content such as survival games or otherwise creative games. My most fulfilling experience comes from exploration and discovery, and I do not look things up early on, or follow guides as I despise spoilers with a passion. These things ruin my experience, and result in me becoming bored with the activity sooner than later.

Co-op/multi:
Though I am mostly a solo player, I take ecstatic fulfillment in playing co-op/multi games with a select few constructive minded individuals. I like to take my time with things, exploring, evaluating, and delving into whatever interesting mechanics and lore I can find, and likewise enjoy playing with others who are capable of immersing themselves the same. If you are one to rush through things, cheat, tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing, or where I should be, whine and complain about how stupid this or that is, It will quickly devolve into a depressing pit of despair that I will not enjoy.

There are specific games and times where I will only play with very specific people, as I feel that sometimes certain people just bring some specific magical thing to the table in different environments, and those seem to be the best co-op games I've ever played. During these times, I make efforts to dedicate my attention towards the ones i'm doing activities with, so I may not be responsive or take note of things or people outside that instance immediately.

I enjoy playing through games slowly, taking in all they have to offer, and part of this is that I tend to try to play on higher difficulty levels. Higher difficulty levels to me are not about achievement or superiority, but an endorsement to pay attention, to focus on and utilize all that a game has to offer. It is very easy for me to space out and play subconsciously and just breeze through things, and this helps me to keep focus and pay attention to the details. If I play with others, and they are not fond of higher difficulties, the priority is to make sure they are enjoying the game, and I will be more than happy to play on lesser difficulties. Stress-free fulfillment is first and foremost primary importance.

Friends
Short and sweet: Chances are High I will decline friendship invites.

Long and bitter:
I have had a very hard time finding warmth in the presence of others. Being that the world if filled with all sorts of reasons for people to share the negativity they've built up, it becomes very difficult to be around people who do not have a positive outlook, and it is very diffcult to find those who do. I am a very pained individual, and I cannot afford to let those things infect me any more than they have in my past, and am not often willing to take that risk. So if you are not clear of conscious; not sincere, then you are just in the wrong place.

If I do for whatever reason accept a blind invite, I expect atleast a single interaction within a week of accepting, or it is a guaranteed removal. Aside from that, I am generally a very lax and accepting individual, however I do not condone toxicity of any kind. If you began berrating me, or others, or start to show that you have no discipline for respect, I will remove you immediately and we will have no further interactions. Likewise, I will never accept requests from profiles that promote trolling, disrespectful behaviors, or any other sort of anti-people promotions. It is fine if you are just simply aware of the shortcoming of society, but there is a fine line between disapproval of society and others, and just being poisonous.

Life
Life is simply and strictly as our own experiences, perceptions, and significances provide us. My life is very different than yours, I guarantee this. I am always in pain, both physically and mentally, and get frustrated and inpatient very easily because of it. So while you are free to talk about your affairs with work, politics, or whatever it is you wish to speak about, please understand that I may not be as responsive as you might hope for. I live in a very different world than you do, and most of those concepts are too foreign for me to understand, let alone contribute to. Likewise, if I appear frustrated or say something insensitive or rude, it is not because I intended to cause any harm, it is only because I did not know what better to say what I was trying to say. Everything I say to anyone, is only to try to be constructive, but how this is interpreted or presented will always differ from person to person.

Lastly, I do suffer from long term anhedonia. This makes it very difficult for me to be invested in anything, as my interest in things decays very rapidly. If I don't seem very passionate about something, or feel like i'm being deterrant, it is because I just do not have the capacity for it, even though I may try. I also have narcolepsy, which may result in me becoming worn out physically and mentally very quickly. Both of these result in a waning energy that can be very oppressive on my capacity to engage.

My Cardboard box with Paper-Plate wheels
Windows 10 Pro
i5-9400F 2.9 x 6
RTX 4060 Ti, 12GB
32GB ram
Prime Z2390-A (Aura)

Vroom Vroom.
Awards Showcase
x49
x30
x21
x94
x83
478
Awards Received
50
Awards Given
Recent Activity
32 hrs on record
last played on 14 Nov
497 hrs on record
last played on 12 Nov
1.7 hrs on record
last played on 12 Nov
Chaoslock 30 Oct @ 11:26am 
:wftogrin: :zedrawr: :ghostlight: Have a SPOOKY Halloween! :ghostlight: :zedrawr: :wftogrin:
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terrible_criss 21 Aug @ 4:16pm 
yeah it sucks, and I hate falling for that, too. Makes me feel like I has the dum dums! :sad_seagull:
Aurelia 21 Aug @ 2:47pm 
I'm so glad you got it back! i'm sorry that happened to you. It's a real shame that people like that exist in the world.
terrible_criss 21 Aug @ 1:19pm 
FYI, I got my account back! Sent a new friend request!
Chaoslock 5 Aug @ 5:34pm 
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠉⠉⠉Have a lovely week my friend!
Oreo 18 Jul @ 10:27pm 
I hope you continue to contribute, help balance the odds a little bit more in positivity's favor. You've definitely given me hope.