♥ 🥞 ♥ 🍇 ♥ 👽 ♥ 🏓 ♥ 💄 ♥ 📀 ♥ 🚘 ♥ 🎍 ♥ 🐛 ♥ 🐝 ♥ 👔 ♥ 🎈
Love is being stupid together.
-- Paul Valery
♥ 💗 ♥ 🍧 ♥ 🎄 ♥ 😺 ♥ 💎 ♥ 🌂 ♥ 👳 ♥ 💚 ♥ 👃 ♥ 🔋 ♥ 🍆 ♥ 🚗
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three
parts dead.
-- Bertrand Russell
♥ 📕 ♥ 👑 ♥ 🚙 ♥ 🌏 ♥ 🐳 ♥ 🎁 ♥ 💚 ♥ 🐠 ♥ 🎍 ♥ 💙 ♥ 🌽 ♥ 🍖

Sometimes I think my cat is a bit of a queer, not there's anything wrong with that of course. It's just that he's affectionate. Like super affectionate. He's always trying to sit on my lap and rub his face on me. It's suspect behavior if you ask me. Like, I get it. We're bros and all, but even bros have to have boundaries. One time I was napping on my couch and he just jumps on my chests and rubs my face with his nose. And during this he was purring constantly, as though he was enjoying it. Isn't that a sign of deviant behavior?

So I walk up to this ♥♥♥♥♥ (apparently right after she got divorced) and say "what's up Karen you wanna go for a jog this afternoon haha" and she's like "please just leave me alone" and I'm like "whatever ♥♥♥♥♥" and then like an hour later get called into our HR person's office and they're like "you gotta stop harassing Karen she's going through a lot right now, she's just signed her divorce papers"

And I'm like "hah who'd married that ♥♥♥♥♥, someone with a wheelchair fetish?" And my HR person (Hank) was well like "come on man, they've been married for 16 years. They've been having trouble since her accident last year. She thinks he blames her for getting into the accident that killed their kids" and I'm all like lol

So I leave and I'm hungry so I go to grab my lunch (turkey and provolone) only to see, lo and behold, that dumb ♥♥♥♥♥ Karen set her bag of lunch RIGHT in front of mine!!

so I write out a note saying how glad I am to be working with her but if she puts her lunch in front of mine again I swear to ♥♥♥♥ I will finish the job that God couldn't

So I go through the rest of my day joking around with Karen every time I see her even though she is I giant ♥♥♥♥ about it (my favorite was 'accidently' dropping a pair of scissors on her colostomy bag lol) and I have to ignore the picture of that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rat whenever I walk by her desk

So I finish my day asking for her ex husband's number since I need a new wingman to look for some babes with and she ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ flips it and when she's yelling at me I'm all like "maybe if you don't want to get divorced you shouldn't have gotten hit by a drink driver you ever think of that ♥♥♥♥♥" and then she rolled away aggressively

Sometimes I think my cat is a bit of a queer, not there's anything wrong with that of course. It's just that he's affectionate. Like super affectionate. He's always trying to sit on my lap and rub his face on me. It's suspect behavior if you ask me. Like, I get it. We're bros and all, but even bros have to have boundaries. One time I was napping on my couch and he just jumps on my chests and rubs my face with his nose. And during this he was purring constantly, as though he was enjoying it. Isn't that a sign of deviant behavior?

+rep sells great gunners