horse radish

Give this rose to every one you want to anally devastate:
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~~~▄▄██▌█ ░░The Bitchslap TRUCK IS COMING░░░ ▐
▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ ░I know a few people who need a ride░ ▐
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▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▘

I got this giant white teddy bear for Christmas one year and made an effort to sleep with it, since that's what boys are supposed to do with stuffed animals. But I wasn't really a stuffed animal person, and the thing was really too big. I must've wrapped my legs around it at some point and put the needle on the record, as it were, because I soon figured out that I could basically get on top of it and hump it and have orgasms.

So your lady has a sense of humor, and you have a way of making her laugh...well if that's the case, go ahead and try some of these slightly sarcastic messages based in love:

1. Spend everyday getting your nails done..I'm good with that <---maybe that's true?

2. Leave your personal stuff all over the washroom, I don't mind <--maybe that's true??

3. I'll eat whatever you cook, no matter what it is *yikes*

4. You're not a complicated person (then burst out laughing)

5. I love it when you give me a to-do-list EVERYDAY..cough cough

6. Have your girlfriends over anytime all the time..yah I love that

7. When you diss me, I know you love me

8. Spend, Spend, Spend..as much.as.you.want.

9. I don't ever want the remote. It's yours forever.

SORRY BUT IM DELETING YOU FROM MY LIFE! *clicks delete* LOADING... ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ 99%. ERROR! It is impossible to delete our friendship. You mean so much to me. Post this to 10 people's walls who you never want to lose. If you get 3 back, you're an amazing friend.