Polski Skunksy
Beep the Meep   Noord-Holland, Netherlands
 
 
Ja pierdolę
Currently Offline
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Origins of the Polish Skunks
Polish folklore tells of a time when the Skunksy were once ordinary creatures, much like their American relatives. However, during the harsh winters of the Piast dynasty, when food was scarce, and vodka supplies were running low, they were forced to evolve in ways no other skunk had before.

A mysterious Baba Jaga (Slavic witch) took pity on them and blessed them with three sacred gifts:

An indestructible digestive system – allowing them to consume even the most cursed foods, including expired pierogi and Soviet-era canned meat.
A stench so strong it repels even Slavic grandmothers – a nearly impossible feat, given that Slavic grandmothers fear nothing.
A deep hatred for geese – a rivalry that remains strong to this day.
It is said that when Poland was partitioned, the Skunksy fought in the underground resistance, using their toxic spray attacks to drive away invaders. Some even say Napoleon himself was saved from a Prussian ambush thanks to a heroic Skunksy named Stanisław the Stinky.
Abilities & Traits
"Śmierć Spray" (Death Spray) – Unlike normal skunks, Polish Skunks can unleash an odor so potent that it has been classified as a biological weapon. One whiff can knock out an entire platoon of German geese.
Vodka Resistance – Like the Polish Pingvin, the Skunksy have developed an extreme tolerance to alcohol. In fact, their scent only gets worse if they drink Żubrówka.
Pierogi Detector – Their powerful noses allow them to locate pierogi from miles away, ensuring they never go hungry.
Natural Adidas Stripe – Unlike other skunks, Polish Skunks are born with three white stripes on their back, resembling the sacred Slavic tracksuit.
Wars with the German Geese
For centuries, the Polish Skunks and the German Geese have been mortal enemies. No one knows how the war started, but one theory suggests that a Polish Skunk once stole a Bratwurst from a German Gans, sparking an eternal blood feud.

Legend has it that when a Polish Pingvin and a Polish Skunk join forces, they become unstoppable, capable of repelling any invader—be it geese, tourists, or the occasional lost Russian bear.

Current Whereabouts
Polish Skunks are rarely seen, as they have mastered the art of hiding in the shadows (and behind dumpsters near Żabka stores). However, if you ever hear a sudden "KURWA!" followed by an overwhelming stench, you may have just crossed paths with one.

If this happens, do not panic. Simply offer it a pieróg and a shot of vodka as a peace offering. If it accepts, you have gained a powerful ally. If not… run.
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Pingvin Wielki 13 Jan, 2022 @ 12:14am 
+rep INSANE DOTA PLAYER YO THIS GUY IS OUTA THIS LEAGUE YO ♥♥♥♥♥ ON EVERYONE TOP MID AND BOTTOM YO FAX
Lyfis Pane 4 Jan, 2020 @ 11:07am 
+rep isnt as gay as he is cracked up to be
Though he ♥♥♥♥♥♥ plays teemo
roebdm 15 Nov, 2018 @ 8:31am 
subscripe to pewdiepie
-L0rdlABerD- 20 Jan, 2017 @ 1:23pm 
+rep
Crime 17 Dec, 2016 @ 11:36am 
+REP XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Po 27 Nov, 2016 @ 4:37am 
+rep