WELCOME TO DEMOCRACY SPREADER 2
I, A CITIZEN OF SUPER EARTH, AM EXTREMELY EXCITED TO SHARE WITH MY FELLOW CITIZENS THAT THIS METHOD OF SPREADING DEMOCRACY IS ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD OF SPREADING DEMOCRACY, WHILE ENHANCING THE ALREADY EXTREMELY POTENT JOY PRESENT IN THE ACT OF SPREADING DEMOCRACY.
HERE ARE MY REASONS TO PURCHASE DEMOCRACY SPREADER 2 WITH YOUR LEGAL DEMOCRACY-FUELED TENDER.

1) YOU CAN HAVE FUN WHILE SPREADING DEMOCRACY
2) YOU CAN WORK WITH YOUR FELLOW MAN IN SQUADRONS UP TO 4, ALLOWING FOR MAXIMUM DEMOCRACY SPREADING AND CHILD-LIKE JOY ONLY MY PRESIDENT COULD PROVIDE.
3) PRACTICE YOUR DANCE MOVES WITH YOUR FINGERS AS YOU DEPLOY SPHERES OF DEMOCRACY UPON THE ENEMY - SUPER EXPLOSIONS INCLUDED. EXERCISE IS IMPORTANT!
4) YOU HAVE THE GLORIOUS OPTIONS OF SPREADING DEMOCRACY TO NOT ONLY ONE SCUM, BUT TWO, EACH WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE HORRORS OF DEMOCRACY-LACKING WORLDS.
5) TEST YOUR SKILL WITH SEVERAL DIFFICULTY OPTIONS! NOT ALL OF US CAN BE GRAND SPREADERS OF DEMOCRACY WITHOUT A FEW STEPS- THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF SUPER-EARTH DID NOT CREATE SUCH A WONDERFUL WORLD OVERNIGHT.
6) EXPERIENCE TOP-NOTCH PTSD! FEAR EVERY METALLIC ENEMY YOU SEE. THE TREE'S SPEAK C++, AND YOUR NEVER GOING TO PLAY LASER-TAG THE SAME.
7) ENHANCE YOUR SHIP OF DEMOCRACY FOR EASIER SPREADING- R&D WORKS HARD FOR YOU, BUT YOU MUST WORK FOR THEM FIRST!
8) LOOK FANCY WHILE DEMOCRATICALLY SHOWING OFF- AND HAVE SPECIAL BONUSES WHILE YOUR AT IT!
9) PLAY YOUR PART, AND BECOME APART OF HISTORY. YOUR EFFORTS HELP US ALL IN THE GALACTIC WAR, NO MATTER IF YOU COME BACK ALIVE OR DEAD. THE FATE OF SUPER-EARTH IS IN OUR HANDS.

THAT'S ALL FROM YOUR FELLOW CITIZEN, I HOPE TO SEE YOU ON THE FRONT!

HERE'S A TIP: TYPING IN ALL CAPS PROMOTES MAXIMUM DEMOCRACY-SPREADING.

EDIT: HOLY ♥♥♥♥ WE'RE COOKED
EDIT: WE'RE SO BACK