It was late thursday night, I was busy cooking my creamy pumpkin risotto precisely following the ways of the one and only Gordon Ramsay. I was just about finished with the culinary masterpiece, carefully putting pieces of asparagus on top and getting ready to treat myself to an amazing gastronomical adventure when suddenly I heard someone knocking vigorously on my front door. “Who could it be at such an hour”I said to myself. The knocking continued, getting harder by the second.” I’ve had enough of you”! “Show yourself”! The door was kicked open lighting shone and he walked in.Gordon Ramsay soaking wet wearing his chef’s jacket.”You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ donkey”! “How dare you cook your risotto like that”. “I’m sorry master I have done you wrong, guide me to prosperity.”Alright” he said, “I shall teach you risotto” , he ran into my kitchen and refired my pumpkin risotto. I noticed something bulging out his left jean pocket. Now for the main ingredient Gordon exclaimed, slowly and confidently he pulled out a soggy bag of Tesco’s “Great Value”
Sausage.”Sosig in” he yelled stirring his risotto vigorously with the sosig. You could see the burning passion in his eyes, he was unstoppable. He then proceeded to plate the risotto for both of us sausage and all.
“Eat my darling” he said putting the plate in front of me. “No sausage please” I said politely. “NO SOSIG!!” he screamed, flipping the table over in a wave of insanity. He then tried to stab me with the last sausage which was dangling from his shirt pocket, but I dodged the oncoming threat by thrusting myself to the side of my dining room.Gordon then crashed through my window which I was seated behind letting out an agonizing roar of hatred towards me.”I will be back and you will eat sosig”!He then leapt into the woods behind my backyard leaving only his chef’s coat behind.