Recent reviews by de leeuw is op de bus

i love the learning curve of this game. i love the challenge, the weird crafting, the karma mechanics, and being stalked by sharks. i love how many times i died of thirst before i worked out how to build a still.

i also love that every time i log in to my steam library, there's a new update from the developer waiting for me.

I used my mouse to point and click
And at first it was all very quick
But after a while
I lost my save file
Now I'm writing a sad limerick.

really cute little game, and it seems like a lot of love went into the art. however, there is not enough content to justify the price. the 8 levels equate to about 5 hours of gameplay. once you're done it takes another ten minutes to get all the achievements if you're into that kind of thing, and there's little to no replay value. get it on sale.

edit: i did like it so i feel a bit guilty for leaving a bad review, but it's definitely overpriced in my opinion. imagine buying a hard copy of this game in a store, getting it home and you're done in a few hours. i'd be selling it on to get some money back, but you can't do that with steam.

As Sir Bruce Forsyth once said: Good game!

good but not all the cars are minis

TLDR: IT'S PANTS. DO NOT BUY.

*I apologise in advance for the rude tone of this review. I'm just...irked.*

UPDATE: 1 year or more since I left this review, I decided to give the game another ago. It MUST have improved since then, no? At first, I thought it had. The UI looks a lot better, and some things have definitely been refined. I made it further into the campaign than ever before without the game becoming unplayable. Yes, you read that right. The game is so f****d that the campaign is impossible to play all the way through. The same stupid little bugs I remember from years ago are STILL a problem. Characters get stuck on objects, don't do their jobs, or simply SINK INTO THE GROUND, never to be seen again and forcing a restart of the campaign. And guess what? When you restart a campaign, it's impossible to speedrun it. Why? Because as soon as you speed up the in-game time, the floor apparently turns into treacle and characters MOVE SLOWER THAN BEFORE. I was persevering with this, until I got to a point in the campaign where the game crashes. Just dies, for no discernible reason. Reload: crash. Reload: crash. My campaign is suddenly unplayable, and I can't be bothered to start over AGAIN, so I'm abandoning this game. Again.

Seriously, come on. What the hell? How have YEARS OLD bugs not been fixed yet? Devs, why has DLC been released before fixing these game-breaking bugs? GAME. BREAKING. BUGS. And then there's all the other, non-fatal but still really b****y annoying bugs that slowly drain your patience and make gameplay a slog.



ORIGINAL REVIEW:
I never review games, but I really need to say - read the reviews for this game before you consider buying it. And then don't buy it.

Not yet, anyway. Developers, WHERE ARE YOU? This game could be so good, and IS so good, except that there are so many bugs and problems it's impossible to play. And I really want to play it. I keep coming back to check the recent reviews, but it looks like it's still unplayable. FIX IT, FIX IT, FIX IT, pleeeeeeeeeeeease.

Listen to your audience, developers.

all my cacti die in real life, i don't know why i thought this would be any different. i have pesticide thumbs