I am addicted to playing Pocket.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I have almost never had this much fun in a game before. Pocket is so unbelievably satisfying to play. There is no greater feeling than hitting 4 perfect barrages on the enemies, shooting them in the face, instakilling them with my cloak, then doing the same thing to their friend. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, what a good feeling. I know for certain I'm probably ruining people's days, but my god is the kill confirm such a good feeling. Better than sex, honestly. Straight up, I would rather wipe the entire enemy team with Pocket ult than get my ♥♥♥♥ wet. There might be something wrong with me. I have stopped watching porn and now instead get off to my own clips of killing people with satchel. I don't want to do anything else. I don't want to talk to my girlfriend, I don't want to go out with friends, I sure as hell don't wanna see my family, I just want to play as Pocket in Deadlock because there is no greater feeling in this world. He is so. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Fun. And his voice, oh my god his voice, and his character design. Perfectly crafted. I wish I was Pocket in real life. His voice reeks with perfection, and his perfectly groomed hair makes me swoon. I haven't seen sunlight in probably a week now or going to work. I think my boss might've fired me- I don't know, I haven't been checking my phone. 24/7 matchmaking is probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I just want to play as Pocket in Deadlock. I wear adult diapers so I can just keep playing the game and minimize time spent in the bathroom. I only eat food during the 20 second window of my once-per-game pause. Even when I sleep, I'm playing Deadlock in my dreams, and I'm using my ult on people, and tanking through damage with diviner's Kevlar. When I look in the mirror, I see Pocket. I eat, sleep, and ♥♥♥♥ Pocket. I am Pocket.

The inevitable comes for us all