So you've just strapped on your gas mask for the first time and are presently thinking to yourself "let's barbecue some b*tches!" You've got fire in your heart, kid, and it burns real bright, but before we can cook up any Soldier Steaks or Heavy Hamburgers, we first gotta learn the basics. Like any grill, the Pyro only works when we follow the instructions, so pay attention now.

One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask...

It's a mean old world out there in Team Fortress 2. With such an explosive cast of characters baying for each other's blood, how does one survive in this hat riddled carnival of chaos? That's a great question, I'm glad I asked it. At first the Pyro might appear to have about as much depth as an inflatable paddling pool, but behind the mask, apart from Half-Life 3, is a deceptively sophisticated learning curve that rewards a patient and calculating mind. As you ease into your Pyro groove, you'll come to discover that you couldn't have picked a busier class when it comes to assisting your team.

The Pyro sports a loadout of 3 weapons at all times: in the beginning you'll find yourself saddled with a flamethrower, a shotgun, and an axe. Regular and reflexive use of all 3 murder toys is the key to conquering your nemesis in the ring of honour. The flamethrower acts as your primary weapon and you'll want to have it ready for action at all times. After all, a pyromaniac without a flamethrower is like fish without chips. Now your shotgun is your secondary weapon, allowing for a ranged assault on distant targets and lastly, your axe serves as your melee weapon, for those moments in life when bullets and fire simply won't cut it and you need to bounce a fool on the bonce with a blunt instrument.

With 175 points of health, the Pyro is one of the meatier mercenaries on the battlefield, joint with Demoman as the 3rd most durable class. Given his... her... its high health count, you might be expecting a lumbering lummox as a class but you couldn't be further from the truth. The Pyro is actually quite a spritely fellow, boasting the best speed to health ratio in the entire game. These balanced stats enable him to keep pace with her lighter, more tender colleagues (with the exception of the blazingly nimble Scout) as well as hold its own in a skirmish with bulkier brutes such as the Heavy or the Soldier. Of course, no statistics on earth can compensate for raw skill, and your survivability ultmately depends on how you play. No pressure.

Ultimately when it comes down to it, there are 4 imperative tasks that you will need to know like clockwork if you're ever going to be a Pyro player with your hydrogen. They are: Igniting, Airblasting, Spy-checking and Extinguishing.

It sounds daunting, but don't worry, we've all been there. Now that you're vaguely familiar with the tools of the trade, it's time to get into the meat and potatoes of what makes the Pyro tick. With a little bit of practice, all of this will become routine.

Do you believe in magic?

Igniting is the age old custom of making people literally hot under the collar. By holding down M1, a stream of smoke and cinders will emanate from the tip of your fire spout. Now as I'm sure you can guess, the real magic begins as soon as your enemies come into contact with your fiery trail. Those who catch fire will burst into flames and remain in that state for several seconds, unless they can grab a nearby health kit or thrust themselves upon an unsuspecting Medic. This condition is known as "after-burn" and it will continually erode your victim's health by increments of 3, meaning that even if they manage to escape from you, they will still take damage and potentially die to death. Armed with this information, you can set up smart hit and run tactics that pose little risk to your own safety, setting your opposite ablaze and then leaving him to burn. This is important, as one of the most important things that any budding Pyro player must learn to do is to pick your battles and pick them well. Your flamethrower never needs to reloaded either so you can unleash the beast to your heart's content until you run right out of fuel, in which case scoot on over to the nearest ammo crate. Just remember to always have enough to to defend yourself in a fight. Last but not least, your flamethrower, as one might expect, does not work underwater, and despite the oxygen tank mounted on its backside, the Pyro will suffocate if left unattended in the briny blue, so you're better for it if you keep away from those environments altogether (unless it can't be helped). For more on effective incinerating tactics, check out the "Firefighter" section of this guide.

Airblasting is a breeze, literally. By clicking M2, your flamethrower will exert a hearty and forceful gust of wind that displaces enemies by launching them through the air like a cat shot out of a cannon. While it's not as ferocious looking or intimdiating as a faceful of fire, airblasting has quite a number of defensive and offensive uses. In fact for something that's relatively simple to execute, there's quite a bit of complexity to how you can use it to best serve your situation. Here are a few scenarios where airblasting will undoubtedly come in handy.

Sandwiches can't be friends

Scenario 1) A disgruntled Heavy comes thundering toward you, with a pocketful of Sandvich and a revved minigun with your name on it. "No problem" you think to yourself, but since you're a Pyro it's more like "mmmph mmmph". You give him a whoosh of your flamethrower. That'll learn him. Uh oh, now he's really angry. Time to get out of here before you've got more holes than the plot of a Joel Schumacher movie. Blow him back into the corner with an airblast and make your daring escape before he knows up from down. It's unlikely you'll get out entirely unscathed but you'll certainly be a lot less dead that you may have otherwise been.

Scenario 2) A lone Sniper surveys the map through his scope. He's not very aware of what's behind him, and he's very much not aware that he's standing on a ledge teetering precariously over a fatal drop. Being the good sport that you are, you decide to show him Gravity. So you walk up to him and airblast him of the cliff to his untimely demise. You then realise that you were thinking of the wrong kind of gravity and that you really meant the movie starring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock. Oh well, maybe when he respawns...

Scenario 3) A "bonked" Scout comes zipping through your teams defences ("Bonk" being a Scout power up that grants him temporary invincibility). He's too nimble for your teammates to keep pace with, but you know if he slips through then he will certainly capture the last point. So you block his path and push him back against the wall with an mighty airblast. He's not going anywhere. A few more seconds of repeated airblasting and the Scout's invulnerability wears off. A nearby sentry gun locks its turrets onto his helpless hide and blows him all the way back to respawn.

Scenario 4) "Ready to Charge!" announces the enemy Medic. Your team groans collectively. What will be the fallout of this decisive moment? A few broken sentries? Half a team returned to respawn? A lost point? You shudder at the thought, but then it occurs to you that airblasting provides the only direct counter to an Ubercharged Medic and his patient! Indeed, an Ubercharge can be totally stopped in its tracks by blowing those under its influence away from their intended target, wasting their precious invincibility time. For the more daring, a well executed airblast can even seperate an Uber-duo, breaking the link and rendering them both vulnerable to attack.

Scenario 5) A Soldier blocks your way to the control point. You know that simply running up to him, guns blazing (excuse the pun), will result in a rocket to the ribs. But simply doing nothing will equally result in your ribs becoming 100% more filled with rocket. So what can you do in this dilemma of unflinching hopelessness? On a woeful whim, you airblast that rocket as it comes for you and to your amazement, it turns right around and winds up churning the very Soldier who launched into chunks of chum. Yeesh... killed by your own projectile, am I right? A fantastic attribute of airblasting is that it can reflect any projectile that's not a bullet back at the person who fired it to begin with. Grenades, arrows, flares, even milk! All this and more can be yours to reflect if you click M2 at the right time. And that's the crux of the matter. Timing is super important when it comes to reflecting things, and you may find yourself dead and frustrated a few times when a bomb you thought you had returned instead plasters the walls with your inside bits. Faster travelling projectiles such as the Sniper's Hunstman arrows can be a real propane in the butt to try and counter, but never despair. Practice makes perfect, and nothing worth having is ever easy. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again... or ragequit... whichever, I don't mind.

Hopefully these little role playing sessions I've devised can help you better understand the instances where airblsting is most effective. Give it a shot and see for yourself. And remember, a Pyro player who knows how to airblast is infinitely more beneficial to his or her team than one who doesn't.

Spies are a Pyro's natural prey

Spy-Checking is one of the most important responsibilities a Pyro can bear. Any class can do it with a little elbow grease, but none as effectively as yours truly. Spy-Checking is the name given to the task of rooting out enemy Spies who may be harrassing your team's operations. It's an important measure on all accounts, as the Spy is party pooper incarnate and will wreck your sh*t if you give him so much as an inch. At the same time however, it's a nuisance for your teamates to run around trying to uncover lingering Spies, especially for those whose attention really needs to be focused on the objective at hand. That's where you come in, my plucky Pyro pupil. You are the team's resident Spy repellent and by gum, repel you shall.

It won't take long for you to understand what a dread-inducing phantom the Spy can be. Materialising in the blink of an eye to whip up some corpses and then gone again as quick as he came. He is a vicious poison to your team, but fortunately you are the antidote. The enemy Spy is a thorn is the sides of many due to his ghasty ability to turn himself invisible and his even ghastlier ability to disguise himself as any one of your teammates. What a crafty spook! However, as I mentioned earlier, any player you set on fire will be visibly ignited with a blaze surrounding their melting mass. The Spy is no exception and be he invisible or be he incognito,a quick puff from your flamethrower will cause him to betray his cover. There's not a whole lot that a Spy can do once you're hot on his heels. He will be physically unable to attack if he's invisible, and if he currently has a disguise, he won't be able to attack without dropping the act and revealing himself to your entire posse, in which case he'll be even more dead than before.

You will want to hunt down and be rid of the Spy immediately after you discover him. Let him escape, and he may come back to haunt you, though realistcally he will be probably come back to stab you. Airblast him to one side so that he can't do a runner and then really let him have it. If it's all getting a bit too much, below are some useful tips to consider when Spy-checking.
Off the clock

Tip 1) Friendly players can pass through you if you come into contact with them but enemy players will simply bump into you. If you happen to bump into a friendly player, then he's not a friendly player at all but in fact an enemy Spy in disguise.

Tip 2) Similar to tip 1, if you seem to collide with the thin air before you, then you've most definitely encountered an invisible Spy. Invisible Spies will shimmer briefly in the colour of their team if they collide with you.

Tip 3) Spies will always go after high value targets like a Heavy-Medic combo or a fully set up Engineer. Keep an eye on these guys and torch anybody who approaches them..

Tip 4) On that note, torch everybody on your team if you're suspicious. Chances are, one of them could be a Spy in disguise.

Tip 5) Listen to your teammates. If somebody nearby uses the "Spy" voice command, spring into action and lend them your assistance.

Tip 6) If you run into yourself while on the battlefield (that is to say, another Pyro on your team with your username), you've got either a Spy or a number 1 fan. The former is a far more likely scenario.

Tip 7) Spies who like to disguise as Scouts move a lot slower than the average Scout. If you see a friendly Scout moving like an asthmatic snail, best to give him a blast of your flamethrower and see what happens.

Tip 8) Listen for the sounds of Spy activating or deactivating his invisibility cloak. If you hear a faint "fwoosh" noise during your travels, you had best turn around.

Tip 9) On that note, a lot of Spies these days like to equip an item called the Dead Ringer, a watch device that allows them to fake their death by turning themselves invisible as they drop a fake body behind them. Even if you think you've killed a Spy, it doesn't hurt to keep your guard up and always listen out for the distinct crackling noise of a Dead Ringer Spy emerging from the cover of invisibility.

Tip 10) Lastly, Spy-checking is all about mind games. If you're vigilant and in control, then most clever Spies will know better than to take you on. But if your paranoid and focus all your attention on uncovering the Spy, then you are diverting your efforts from the team's objective at large which can be costly in the long run. Always remember that the best Spy-Checkers are those who get the job done quickly and painlessly.

As a Pyro, you have become accustomed to the smell of burning flesh and charred ribs (with sauce). Fire is in your DNA, it completes you, it's who you are. It's the reason you wake up in the morning and the reason you go to bed at night. So it might seem a little counter intuitive to have to put out fires as well as start them.
Don't be this guy

Pyros will inevitably exist on the other team. Although teams on the average public server consist of 7 Snipers and the occasional Scout, you may very well run into somebody on the opposing force with the same burning desire as your own. A friendly Medic runs to you in agony, coated in flames and perishing steadily. If he dies, then all the Uber he's built up to this point has been for naught. "Surely, there is nothing I can do to help" I hear you say defeatedly. First of all, don't call me Surely, and secondly there is indeed something you can do.

Remember the section on airblasting from earlier? I hope so, otherwise this has been a really bad guide. But there was something I didn't include there because either I ran out of typing space or I felt it deserved a section entirely for itself. Whatever the case, it doesn't change the fact that airblasting a burning comrade will put out the fire that ails them. In some cases, doing this will save your friend something as minor as having to withdraw from the fight to seek out a health kit, but in more extreme scenarios, it can be a true life saver. Keeping high priority classes such as the Medic, Engineer or Heavy from burning to death means they can continue to put pressure the objective. Extinguishing is a small gesture that takes literally a second to perform, but it goes a long way to helping others build confidence in you as a reliable team player because, funnily enough, not many Pyro players realise that they possess this great gift.

Be this guy

Remember that in order for extinguishing to work, you need to be in close proximity of your target. A gratifying "hiiiisssss" will ring out to confirm you've quelled the blaze. Also don't worry about draining your fuel reserves. It takes only a single airblast to totally put out a burning teammate.

We didn't start the fire

Now that you know the ways of the Pyro as if they were your own mother, it's time for you to apply what you have learned in the heat of battle. Fighting as a Pyro can be irksome in the beginning, as the short range of your flamethrower means you may find yourself pummeled into the cold unforgiving dirt before you can get within so much as a square kilometre of your target. As I mentioned previously, you're going to have to break some personal boundaries before you can begin breaking any skulls, or other vital body parts. You are at your most deadly whenever you are right in the enemy's face, as the sheer intensity from your flamethrower's damage output will reliably obliterate those who lack the smarts to react. Knowing that you need to get close to the enemy without giving yourself away gives the Pyro quite a lot in common with the Spy. As such, knowledge of the map, how you move about, and how you position yourself for attack are all tremendously important elements for a job well done.

Simply spraying and praying in wide open areas, particularly in those densley populated by members of the other team, is a one way ticket to respawn, as any player who knows a thing or two about dying and how not to do that will be able to counter you with little trouble. So in order to be the best little fire starter you can be, you need to make yourself truly scarce. You will need to be invisible, a ninja so swift and sudden in your movements that you could hardly be said to have been there at all. Try to imagine yourself as a lion stalking its prey, a bald eagle swooping in from heights unknown, or a burrowing hamster digging its way to China, and you've got the right idea. The best kind of Pyro is the one who isn't seen until displayed in the victim's kill-cam.

To this end, you will want to lurk in tight enclosed spaces and roam along alternate routes away from the beaten track. These environments will make it more difficult for potential targets to see you coming and should you spring on them, it will be a lot harder for them to escape or fight back. A Pyro ambush in an isolated spot is nearly always a fatal encounter for even the most seasoned of veterans. The element of surprise is a consistent winning strategy, but we still need to be smart about how we smoulder. Below are some of the different fighting tactics you can employ to your aid. Mix them up and see what works for you...

M1 + W: As you take your baby steps into Team Fortress 2, I can guarentee that "M1 + W" will be one of the first things you attempt to do. An "M1 + W Pyro" is basically somebody who glues their fingers to the W key and left side of the mouse, relentlessly marching forward and blasting fire at those in their direct line of sight until somebody dies (usually themselves). It's totally understandable. After all, God didn't put a flamethrower in your hands so that you could ride it like a broomstick (or did he?). That being said, it's quite a senseless tactic and one that only works up to a certain point. The most success you will have with it is against equally inexperienced players or in an ambush where the enemy can't prepare a counter attack in time. The problem with M1 + W is that it totally disregards your secondary and melee weapons, and any skilled players who see you coming will decimate you as you frantically try to close the distance. It's something you'll want to get out of the habit of doing lickety split, as M1 + W Pyros are often lambasted by the community at large for exhibiting signs of obliviousness and noob status.
The Internet does not take kindly to M1 + W Pyros

Strafe and Sound: Strafe and Sound works a little bit like M1 + W, but also involves fancy footwork to keep you alive and the enemy smoking. By moving in all sorts of directions as you spray your flames, your target will have to repeatedly adjust his or her position to keep you in his or her sights while also having to deal with the immediate danger of after-burn. If you're good, you can literally run rings around people and jump up and down to really confuse the pants off them. Strafe and Sound is especially useful for igniting multiple goons at once and, when the pieces are correctly put in place, it can be used to evade a Sentry Gun's fire while you burn it into broken bits.

Hot Shot: When it comes to tough cookies like the Heavy and Soldier, M1 + W is simply not going to cut it. We have a word for people who like to charge straight towards a Heavy: dead. A single puff of smoke is all it takes to fully ignite a player, after-burn and all, so to carry on blasting them can be seen as pretty redundant. To quickly finish off a burning foe while trying to minimalise any risk to yourself, simply backpeddle and fire at them with your shotgun. Between the after-burn and the additional damage of being pelted with cold lead, your opponent will either have to make a dishonourable retreat or die a lonely miserable death. Meanwhile, you sip on an ice cold Mojito while a Russian temptress rubs your poor tired shoulders. Alternatively you can use a flare gun instead of your shotgun. A slower travelling projectile, the flare will ignite those who are currently fire free and will deliver critical damage to those who are already burning, for a quick and merciless send off.

Axe-idents Happen: Axe-idents Happen is similar in practice to Hot Shot, only when you ignite your opposite, you proceed to lay into him with your melee weapon for some serious owies. Melee weapons by themselves deal some pretty gruelling damage, so try to imagine how sore somebody is going to be when being smacked with an axe after being set on fire. For the most effective results, I would reccomend using the Axtinguisher which deals mini-crits to all burning targets. It also comes strongly advised that you airblast your victim to suspend them in motion and all but ensure you land your swing. Axe-idents Happen is the most reliable means of quickly dishing out the hurt, as the after-burn combined with the brunt force of your melee strike will kill most classes in 2 hits. But it's also the most dangerous as it requires to charge wholeheartedly at the enemy, swinging until they hit the mat. I personally wouldn't recommend this strategy until you are more comfortable utilising the other 3.

As you clock up the hours in Team Fortress 2, you'll begin to unlock a slew of groovy new weapons for every class. Our friend, Pyro has quite a few to choose from, and each one introduces some sort of variation or tweak to the standard playstyle. Though the strengths and weaknesses of these unlockables wildly fluctuate, no weapon in particular has a direct advantage over the other, and what loadout works for you simply boils down to a matter of preference. With that said, let's take a look at the different kinds of flamethrowers you'll come across down the line..



The Stock Flamethrower: The original flamethrower which will be yours to cherish the very instant you start playing. Its neutral stats make it the ideal choice for newcomers.



The Backburner: The Backburner heavily encourages you to employ the sneaky ambush tactics we discussed earlier. It's utterly terrible in a direct confrontation as a single airblast chews up 50 points of fuel (as opposed to 20 for all other airblast enabled flamethrowers). This means you can only blow away enemies or reflect projectiles up to four times at maximum fuel which gives you very little room to manouvere if you get into trouble. However, its big upside is that you are guarenteed devastatingly destructive critical hits if you manage to spray your opponents from the back, so you'll want to stick to those roads less travelled in order to get behind your enemies and deliver the goods.



The Degreaser: Always a popular choice amongst veterans, the Degreaser allows for arguably the most efficient Pyro play in the game. It's a more gentle beast than its burning bretheren with -10% base damage and -25% after-burn damage, but the time it takes to switch between weapons is reduced by a whopping 65%. It makes you a more flexible and team-oriented Pyro as you can have any weapon ready at a moment's notice and be prepared for any situation at the drop of a hat (not a Gibus though). It also means you can be more aggressive in battle. "Hot Shot" and "Axe-idents Happen" are far more effective when you can pull out your secondary or melee weapon in the blink of an eye. All it takes is a single puff of smoke to set your foes fully ablaze so the limited fire damage is only a small ugly needle in a big sexy haystack. If you're going to switch from the Stock Flamethrower at any point in your Pyro career, the Degreaser comes highly recommended.



The Phlogistinator: The Phlogistinator is generally reviled by the community as being a weapon for noobs, and that's putting it politely. With no airblast capabilities whatsoever, using the Phlogistinator strips you of a lot of your Pyro-centric abilites such as reflecting projectiles and extinguishing your teammates. You're a less flexible, more selfish kind of Pyro, but that's not a bad thing. The Phlogistinator turns you into a destructive menace with its notorious "Mmmmph" meter. The meter will rise as you inflict fire damage until it reaches its max capacity, at which point you can cash it in for a full health restore and nothing but critical hits for several seconds. With the exception of being under the influence of a Medic's Ubercharge, going toe to toe against a crit-enabled Phlogistinator Pyro will result in death, no questions asked. It's an alluring deal on paper but without having airblast by your side to dictate the pace of your battles, fighting goons with the Phlogistinator can be a sticky wicket. For more experienced players looking for something a bit of the wall.

The Pyro boasts a varied range of secondary weapons, each with its own individual set of stats. Just like the different flamethrowers in the game, none of these secondary weapons have any distinct advantage of the other and which one you choose to don in battle simply boils down to comfort and preference. Let's take a look shall we...

The Stock Shotgun: The original vintage shotgun, something of a collector's item in this day and age. It's yours to command right from the beginning and its neutral stats make it the perfect starting point for any player.

The Flare Gun: The Flare Gun lets the Pyro do what he does best: setting her foes on fire. Only now you can do it from across the map like a cheeky Sniper wannabe. The flare projectile moves in a similar fashion to the Huntsman arrow. It's much slower than a bullet and travels in an arc so you'll need to be careful about where you aim in order to hit your target. What really makes it an attractive package is its ability to inflict critical damage on those who are already burning. However, you will need to reload after every shot which can make it slow and cumbersome in a fight.

The Detonator: The Detonator is a quirky and fun alternative to the standard Flare Gun. By hitting M2 at the appropriate moment, you can detonate your flares, releasing a fiery radius that will ignite anybody within it for slightly weaker damage. You can even tap into your inner Soldier and detonate a flare at your feet, propelling you into the air to reach spots which your stumpy Pyro legs would otherwise forbid you to go. You will take damage from this however so do be careful about how you go about it. The Detonator also makes an annoying as f*ck noise when fired in case you really want to draw the ire of your enemies.

The Reserve Shooter: The Reserve Shooter is the second shotgun for Pyro and is also available to the Soldier as well. It boasts a 15% faster weapon switch time so just try to imagine using it with the Degreaser which already allows for a 65% faster switch. Oh lordy loo, Ms Scarlett! The other noticeable tidbit about the Reserve Shooter is its ability to deliver mini-crits to airborne targets. If you fancy yourself a half decent airblaster, then you may want to check out the Reserve Shooter.

The Scorch Shot: The Scorch Shot, a flare gun with some serious flare, introduces a fun little minigame of sorts whereby each successful shot you land with it will knock its target back as though they were airblasted. It's a lot of fun to try and troll your adversaries off of cliffs with this pup, but with -50% damage, there's only so much fun to be had. The flares fired from this particular weapon also possess the ability to destroy enemy Sticky Bombs, but a far more useful strategy here would be to simply airblast them away. Like all other Flare Guns, you'll need to reload after every shot you take so make every effort count.



The Manmelter: The Manmelter is a futuristic themed flare gun. Its fun to play around but also sports quite a useful purpose beneath its sleek modern design. Like any flare gun, you can use it to ignite enemies from across the map, only now you can also use it to extinguish burning teammates. For every teammate you extinguish, you will gain one guarenteed critical hit, up to 35 in total. In addition, it also doesn't require ammo to use and the projectiles travel more quickly than their ilk. If you plan on using any flare gun, the Manmelter comes heartily recommended.

Just like sections past, the Pyro has a roster of melee weapons that come in all shapes, sizes and ethnicities. As before, no particular weapon is the cream of the crop but they all have wonderful personalities nonetheless. Why not see for yourself?

The Stock Axe: The original axe. Most people would use it to chop wood or something, but you're not most people. It's yours to wield from the get-go and offers a balanced neutral experience, making it ripe for baby Pyros not quite ready to leave the nest.





The Axtinguisher / The Postal Pummeler: The best available melee options for the offensive Pyro. The Axtinguisher or the Postal Pummeler bestows mini-crits to those who use it to injure burning targets, and critical hits from behind, allowing for a quick and efficient kills. Make sure to airblast your target so that you can guarentee a successful hit. If you're going up against somebody not already ignited, the Axtinguisher / Postal Pummeler will deal weaker damage than the regular axe, though this should really be a rare occurence as your first instinct should be to set fools on fire to begin with.

The Homewrecker / The Maul: These are the best available melee options for the team oriented Pyro. The Homewrecker or the Maul deliver twice as much damage to enemy Engineer buildings, being able to tear through them like a steak knife through butter. Not only that, but it can remove Electro-Sappers brandished by enemy Spies onto the buildings of friendly Engineers. This makes you a great Engineer buddy, as you can help to maintain friendly machines even if your Engy isn't present. It also saves him time and trouble during heated encounters with the other team.

The Back Scratcher: Of all the melee weapons available to your use, the Back Scratcher offers the most interesting gameplay dynamic in my opinion. This seemingly harmless garden rake will leave some nasty grazes as it naturally inflict 20% more damage on jerks. It also boosts the amount of health you'll receive from health kits by 50%. Sounds fantastic, am I right? Well in exchange for these lovelies, you are going to have to contend with 75% less health received from Medics and Dispensers. As such, health kits are your number 1 pick-me-up, so pay attention to their placement across the map.

The Powerjack: Car trouble? Trust me, buddy that's the least of your worries as pretty soon you're going to be charged for battery. Bad jokes aside (never), the Powerjack is like a Medic on a stick, granting your 75 points of lost health for every successful kill with it and even overhealing you if you're in tip top shape. It also puts a slight spring in your step with 15% speed increase, allowing you to get to spots more quickly than the enemy may anticipate for some dastardly ambushes. Its biggest downside is that you you're going to take 20% more damage from all sources so like the Backburner, this is a weapon that encourages you to hone your hit and run hijinks.

The Third Degree: The Third Degree is the Loch Ness Monster of Pyro weapons: often discussed but rarely seen. It's a definite hipster weapon, equipped by only the most out there of players. Its primary gimmick is the ability to disperse damage to anybody attached to Medic's healing beam. While this seems cool on paper, the main problem with this is that it implores you to rush at a Medic and his patient (which, being a Pyro, you should never ever do). Furthermore, any damage you inflict will be swiftly countered by the Medic's regenerating health and the rapid healing toward his patient. If you're going to use it at all, it'll probably be for its groovy design than its actual functionality.





The Sharpened Volcano Fragment: I must protest at the sheer ludicrousness of this weapon. Don't get me wrong, as a geographer I love volcanoes, as a lumberjack I love axes, and as a clinical sociopath I don't feel empathy when I inflict pain on others. But the Sharpened Volcano Fragment is such a silly thing that it's hard to justify its worth. Smacking somebody with it will set them on fire. Sounds great, but do you know what else sets people on fire? Every flamethrower and flare gun in existence. But trying to use the Sharpened Volcano Fragment in a meaningful way is simply creating a more difficult scenario for you to do what the Pyro already does so well with any other weapon. It's fun to mess around with, no doubt, but if you're looking for something to use seriously, the Sharpened Volcano Fragment comes sorely unrecommended.

The Neon Annihilator: The Neon Annihilator deals critical damage to wet enemies on account of that classic unstable relationship that water and electrical appliances share. The problem is that your flamethrower is completely useless when in water so you're going to be at a direct disadvantage when you engage anybody in an oceanic environment, which is a lot to put up with for the sake of one little trick. One positive with no counter negative however is that the Neon Annihilator possesses the ability to remove Electro-Sappers from friendly Engineer buildings which grants it about as much flexibility as the Homewrecker or the Maul.

When it comes to the culinary arts in Team Fortress 2, mercenaries are always on the menu. For the best results possible, it's imperative to know which kind of meat you are preparing and how you ought to cook it. Take a gander at some of these top of the line dishes from my very own personal menu, and send your tastebuds on a voyage,




Scout Spaghetti: A Boston speciality, Scout Spaghetti is a delicous pasta recipe that's made to share. The perfect dinner for 2, it brims with a impish youthfulness to compliment the sexual energy of any whirlwind romance.

Ingredients: 1 Scout, a flamethrower, a shotgun.

Preparation: The Scout is one of the weakest classes in the game, with only a piffling 125 points of health to his name. Once you burn his buns, you can leave him to simmer as he unlikely to endure the effects of after-burn. The main difficulty is trying to get your supper to keep still long enough in order to bring him to a boil. Always bounding, the Scout is far and away the most agile class and trying to beat him in a running contest, while a great workout, is a bit fruitless. His blazingly quick feet means he can effortlessly escape you, scoop up nearby health kits to put out any fire, and pick you apart from the far end of the room. Set him on fire and quickly eliminate him with a few rounds from your shotgun, otherwise he could become a real nuisance. I say the the shotgun, because the slow and imprecise nature of the flare gun will be your Achilles Heel against the naughty, nimble Scout.


Spy Souffle: Straight from the baguette-encrusted heart of France, Spy Souffle is a rich, mature dessert that takes no time at all to prepare. Best served at dinner parties to round of a pleasant evening of fine dining.

Ingredients: 1 Spy, a flamethrower

Preparation: As I mentioned earlier, the Spy is your natural prey and you should generally have little trouble putting them to your platter. The Spy's invisibility cloak and disguise kit are nullified by the flames of your loins, rendering his main agents of operation useless against a vigilant Pyro. The Spy is not fast, so he can't run for cover, and he's not strong, so he can't readily fight back once the hunt has begun. But he is crafty, and will have no qualms about backstabbing you into oblivion if you let your guard down for even a second. Keep your eyes open for those telltale Spy signs and mow him down. Just your flamethrower will suffice as the Spy's low health of 125 will be depleted by after-burn in no time at all.

Sniper Surprise: An earthy helping, steeped in custom and tradition, Sniper Surprise was first cultivated by aborigines in the Australian Outback before famous 19th century explorer Jamie Crookshire brought it to the Americas.

Ingredients: 1 Sniper, a flamethrower

Preparation: The Sniper can be either very mild or very spicy, depending on how you approach him. Like the Scout and Spy before him, the Sniper is something of a lightweight with only a measly 125 points of health. This means he will die quickly and pitifully when put under a little duress. Making matters worse for poor Sniper, he suffers from poor peripheral vision when he's scoped in, turning him into fodder for just about anybody who decides to engage him from any direction other than right in front of him. A hapless Sniper is the easiest target you'll ever come across in Team Fortress 2 and a quick blast from your thrower of flames will get the job done in seconds. The tables turn however, the instant you find yourself in a Sniper's line of sight. A fully charged headshot will kill any class, no questions asked, and body shots are critically damaging. A Sniper who knows what he's doing is one of the most difficult things to counter, and even when a Sniper can't aim, as long as he can see you, you're in for trouble. When it comes to his long range expertise against your short range handicap, it's no contest. You'll really need to stick to those secluded passageways if you're going to get the jump on him.

Medic Meatballs: Cut from premium German sausages, Medic Meatballs are a tasty treat for any social occasion but, ironically, are pretty bad for your health. They first made their debut as concession stand snacks at the Nuremburg Rallies, and quickly elevated to the position as the Nazi Party's finger food of choice. Despite the sinister underpinnings of their origin, they have maintained their status as a national treasure.

Ingredients: 1 Medic, a flamethrower, an axe

Preparation: The Medic is a tricky devil to nail down. While every class can be a threat to a Medic, a Medic in the company of competent teammates is a threat to any player. While not a combat oriented class, the Medic has the highest means of survivability of any character. His 150hp make him a slightly tougher cookie than the Scout, Spy, and Sniper, and if left alone for long enough after taking damage, his health will begin to creep back up by increments of 3. The Medic's regenerating health is enough to counter the effects of after-burn which degrade health by increments of 3, so you're going to want to mini-crit the b*lls off of him with the Axtinguisher (remember Axe-idents Happen) while he burns in order to ship him off to the morgue. The main sticking point with the Medic is that he's a dirty coward. Seldom seen at the front of the pack, the Medic is frequently found attached to stronger classes, buffing their health to fighting fit capacity and leaching off their kills. This means you have an entirely different problem to contend with before you can even consider taking on the doktor himself, and frankly throwing yourself into harm's way like that is not worth it, not even for that succulent Berlin beef.

Pyro Pancakes: Delicious breakfast grub, guaranteed to take the mourning out of your morning. The trick is to really turn up the gas and let that batter sizzle.

Ingredients: 1 Pyro, a flamethrower, a shotgun

Preparation: At long last, your double. Your twin. Your arch-nemesis! Long have you waited for the day where you could claim the mantle of biggest blaze trailer on the server. If you know how to fight as a Pyro then you pretty much know how to fight one too, as your opposite will move and attack in generally the same manner as you, Who comes out on top is really a matter of who is more competent on the day. Pyros wear a special chemical retardant suit that makes them immune to the effects of after-burn, though it doesn't offer protection against the flamethrower's base damage output. This can make Pyro on Pyro showdowns am arduous excercise in attrition, shifting awkwardly back and forth until one of you dies or asks the other out. You're a lot safer using your shotgun to cut him down from a distance, but if you truly insist on using the flamethrower, remember its range extends when you backpeddle so that you can still maintain some sort of a gap while you roast your rival.

Engi-ladas: A real Texan treat, Engi-ladas are a construction worker's favourite after a hard day's toiling in the toolshed. It's a bit gloopy so better bring some napkins or else you'll have some sticky mittens.

Ingredients: 1 Enginner, a flamethrower, shotgun, a Homewrecker or Maul

Preparation: Engi-ladas can either be a cool, mild dish or a gut-burningly spicy one. It really and truly depends on the situation. A mild Engineer would be one without any equipment set up or in the process of building said equipment. There's very little he can do to defend himself once you've set your sights on him because, well, his buildings are his primary defence. Sure he's got a pistol and a shotgun, but he fights unremarkably, and you've got a flamethrower for goodness sake. At 125 points of health, the Engineer is as frail as they come (though this can be buffed with the Gunslinger equipped) and you needn't worry about his hard hat being fire proof. All of this is provided he is isolated and ill-equipped. A spicy Engineer on the other hand is a different beast all together; one who has fully set up his equipment and has planted himself firmly upon a choke point of crucial importance. In fact, such an Engineer is the hardest counter a Pyro can face and a great deal of danger to any class for that matter. Stepping into the cross-hairs of an active level 3 Sentry Gun means death, full stop, and to make matters worse, the short range of your flamethrower means you can't even attack it from afar. Using your secondary weapon is equally futile as the Engineer can continually repair the bolted behemoth with his wrench. Unless you're under the influence of an Ubercharge, or can find an opening to use the Homewrecker or the Maul, it's extremely difficult for a Pyro to assault an Engineer's nest. Better eave it to somebody else then. Demoman I'm looking at you.

Demoman Dumplings: A delicacy from the Scottish highlands that serves plenty, Demoman Dumplings are a popular option at parties as they are crowd pleasers as well as crowd feeders. Best consumed with a bottle of rum to embrace the drunken Gaelic spirit (I'm Irish so it's fine).

Ingredients: 1 Black Scottish Cyclops, a flamethrower, an axe

Preparation: A competent Demoman often spells trouble for the perplexed Pyro. The bomb-lobbing looney is all about area denial, a great hindrence for the Pyro who lacks the ability to effectively attack enemies from a distance. A Demoman with a carpet of Sticky Bombs rolled out is a threat to any class, as just 2 bombs is all it takes to launch one's limbs skyward. Therefore, like when confronting the Sniper, it's of tremendous importance that you seek out those alternate pathways in order to get around the danger. The Pyro can blow away Sticky Bombs with an airblast, removing them from choke points to let your team push onward, and sending them back to the Demoman. Since the Demoman is harmed by his own fire, you can turn his own bombs against him by blowing them towards him just as he detonates them. The same can be said for his rolling grenades, which can be reflected back at him for huge damage. At medium range, the Demoman is extremely lethal as you're at the optimum distance to be hit by both grenades and stickies, and a single hit from either will put you on your death bed. Far away or up close is where it's at, as you can better judge where to dodge in case of the former, and he will compromise his aim in a panic induced flurry in case of the latter. Set him alight with your flamethrower and cut him to ribbons with your axe

Some Demoman, dubbed Demoknights, don shields and swords into battle. These mystical warriors of a lost age will charge straight for you at lighting speed (faster than a Scout) and will instantly slay you by decapitation unless you somehow sidestep their stampede. One top tip is to blow them back with an airblast right as they are about to strike you. It can be the difference between losing your head, if the Pyro can even be said to have a head beneath that mask of mystery and mumbles.

Soldier Steaks: A real manly man's meal. The Soldier Steak is made from 100% processed American meat, grilled from the sparks of a harley as it tears up tarmac on the Freeway. Dripping in testosterone, the secret ingredient here is love. Nah, it's actually freedom. Not American freedom mind you, but rather in the sense that these protein rich delights are actually fat free. Can you believe it? Adam Moran certainly can't. The war on thighs may finally be at an end.

Ingredients: 1 Soldier, a flamethroer (preferably not the Phlogistinator), a shotgun

Preparation: The Soldier is a bit of a 50/50 when it comes to kombat. On the one hand, his rockets are very powerful and scary, but on the other hand, as a Pyro and as a Pyro alone, you possess the ability to reflect rockets. That's a lot for these metaphorical hands to hold so I'll spare the waffle and get right to it. A successfully timed airblast, much like the Demoman's stickies and grenades, will send a Soldier's rocket soaring right back at him whilst triumphantly crying "surprise b*tch!" This is your main counter to Mr Militant, as not only does this save you having to recoup a lot of lost health, but it also inflicts mini-crit damage to the Soldier in question and any of his teammates who are unfortunate enough to get caught in the blast radius. Should he be already burning when you challenge him to a game of rocket tennis, you can bet your stars and stripes that his butt will blasted back to boot camp (that is to say, he will die violently). Similarly to the Demoman, timing is everything, as is distance from the subject. The farther you are from the Soldier, the easier it will be to reflect his rockets. Of course, most clever Soldiers are aware of your airblasting attributes and may simply opt to pelt you with their shotgun instead, conserving their explosives for somebody more susceptible. A more common scenario would be for the Soldier to fire rockets at the floor around your feet, making it greatly difficult to airblast them away from you as well as nigh impossible to evade the splash damage. In such an event, jump in the air to minimise any damage that could be taken, airblast the Soldier away from you, head for the hills and fire your shotgun as a warning to stay away. You're much faster than him anyway, so you shouldn't have to much trouble escaping unless he has you cornered, in which case you are a silly goose.

Heavy Hamburgers: Packed with real Soviet power, this Prussian Patty sizzles with the blood, sweat and tears of a great civilization, a sleeping giant fueled by wisdom, poetry and ideology. Heck, I don't know but it says so on the box so it must be true.


Ingredients: 1 Heavy, a flamethrower, a shotgun, an axe

Preparation: There's a word to describe Pyros who choose to run directly at machine gun toting grizzly bears: dead. At a staggering 300 points of health, if it weren't for those darn level 3 Sentry Guns, the Heavy would be by far the hardest class to tackle. Unless you absolutely know what you're doing, I would often leave the Russian Rambo to be taken care of by a more able bodied class. There is nothing scarier in Team Fortress 2 than for a Heavy to stare right through your sockets, bearing his signature grin of sadistic glee. If that machine gun is pointed at you and you see no viable escape route within a yard's proximity, you're going down, no ifs, buts or hows. To fight a Heavy, or at least a skilled Heavy, requires careful application of almost everything you know. Set him on fire with your flamethrower and use "Strafe and Sound" to disorient him while at the same using "Axe-idents Happen" to get those mini-crits on him with the Axtinguisher. Unlike most classes who will go down with a couple swings from your melee weapon, the Heavy takes considerably longer to put down for the count and when you stop to ponder exactly the kind of monstrosity of a man you're fighting, those extra hits really feel like an eternity. If the oppurtunity presents itself, M1 + W him from behind with the Backburner to really roast his rump. If all else fails, airblast him away from you and run into the sunset, shonking him with shotgun shells or flares. Even then, you may still be killed, as the Heavy may be connected to a Medic, whose healing rays will reduce your blows to complete impotency. I'm not suggesting that back out of skirmishes with the big guy as they absolutely can be won, and you'll come to do so with ease as you hone your skills. Just remember that slow and steady wins the race. The sheer destructive brunt of the Heavy makes him an attractive class for the bullheaded and impatient. A calculated and patient mindset will naturally emerge on top over any level of senseless carnage. That's about as much advice as I can impart. I don't know, I'm writing this at 1 in the morning.

Team Fortress 2 is all about playing to the strengths of your fellow classes to achieve a litany of different objectives. As one of the versatile characters in the game, the Pyro enjoys more unique and undefined relationships with his battle buddies than anybody else. How exactly can assist your friends on the field? Let us count the ways.

The Scout: Scouts are more brittle than most and will die more quickly if they can't mend themselves. Let them take health kits in a situation where you could both benefit from it. You stand a greater chance of surviving without it.
. Because Scouts have a smaller health tally than other health classes, perhaps you should prioritise extinguishing them ahead of the more durable classes.
. If you see a Scout wielding the Sun on a Stick, work with him so that he can maximise its utility. The weapon is far stronger when used against burning foes.

The Spy: The Spy is at his best when he goes solo. If you see a friendly Spy, stay away from him. You may end up blowing his cover or getting him snagged in a cross-fire if you run into enemies.
. That being said, if you spot a friendly Spy in trouble, don't hesitate to intervene.



The Sniper: The Sniper's inability to see what's around him when peering through his scope makes him an easy target for enemies coming in from awkward angles. But a Sniper who has to constantly unscope to check for loitering louts isn't very effective. Save him time and trouble by clearing out any trouble makers looking to score some cheap kills.
. If you run into a friendly Sniper using the Huntsman bow, remember to give a lick of fire as you doing so will in fact transform his arrows into fire arrows, Legend of Zelda style.



The Medic: Let the Medic take health kits in a situation where you could both benefit from it. He can heal you, but not himself.
. Reflect incoming projectiles away from him.
. Spy-Check the area around him. A single backstab can totally ruin a hard earned Ubercharge.
. The Medic is, generally speaking, your number 1 priority to extinguish. Don't let him burn to death.
. If you need medical treatment, run to the Medic. Don't make him come to you, causing him to step across potentially dangerous terrain.



The Pyro: Try switching your loadout to compliment the effort of your fellow firemongers. Is another Pyro using the Backburner to get the drop on enemies on the front line. Then switch to the Degreaser so you can be a more all-purpose Pyro.







The Engineer: The Pyro and the Engineer have extremely good chemistry when working together. Spy-Checking is tremendously key. It saves your Engineer much undue stress about having his machines sapped when they're already under the knife of the enemy team.
. Reflect rockets and grenades away from friendly machines, improving their longevity on the battlefield.
. Use the Homewrecker or the Maul to swipe away any Electro-Sappers that Spies may have planted on friendly buildings.


The Demoman: Spies love to backstab Demomen who are to occupied with laying sticky bomb traps to check their backs. Spy-Check on their behalf and they'll treat you to some scrumpy.
. The explosive nature of his modus operandi means the Demoman is very damage prone. Let him take health kits.







The Soldier: Much like the Demoman, the Soldier is very damage prone so be courteous and allow him to take health kits that you could otherwise have. Other than that, he's a very independent class and can survive with little assistance.








The Heavy: The Heavy becomes everybody's bullet magnet the instant he sets foot out of spawn. Extinguish him, Spy-Check for him, reflect projectiles away from him, shoo away hassling Scouts. The Heavy is the force that will keep your team moving. Keep him alive.

Alas, my starry eyed disciples, my adopted arsonists with a yearning for burning, our journey has reached its end. Greatness has been achieved, but all great things must come to an end... or do they?! For I see greatness in every one of you and it is my solemn declaration that you will go forth into the big bad world of Team Fortress 2 and spread our seed so that more budding Pyros may blossom in your footsteps. While this guide may not be the Bible, and while it may not have answers for every little thing you will discover on your oddyssey, it is my hope that have enjoyed every last step we have taken together and feel strengthened to emerge from your little Pyro cocoon and spread your little Pyro wings. Until next time, friends.


"Hudda hudda huuuhhh" - the Pyro, on life and its infinite mysteries

P.S, once I gather the names, I'll be releasing the list of artists whose work I used in my guide.