Chivalry: Medieval Warfare

Chivalry: Medieval Warfare

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Chivalry: Medieval Warfare Unoffical Insults Guide
By nic0bit
A guide on how to properly insult one's sworn enemy.
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Introduction
This is a relatively short guide listing the many crude and possibly immature names you may call your fellow fustylugs.

Edit: Given the warmth I've received from you, my brothers, I have brought over thirty insults to this list in your time of need! They are the ones in bold. May your quivers remain as full as your trousers.
Beginner Insults
Bespawler- meaning one who drools; someone who is braindead

Blackguard - A dishonorable man

Braggart- A boastful person

Churl- A fool; an idiot

Clout- One who does nothing but cause suffering

Craven- A coward

Cur- An inbred canine

Canker-blossom- An infectious ulcer

Clotpole- A rude, simple-minded fool

Coxcomb- A prideful person

Dew-beater- A clutz; one who is foolishly clumsy

Dorbel- Thick-headed; unintelligent

Dropsy - A disease that produces fluids in cavities throughout the body

Foot-licker- A suck-up, a coward

Fopdoodle- A stupid and classless individual

Gnashgab- A relentless whiner; one who complains

Gobermouch- An old Irish insult; one who is nosy

Knave - A classic. Rascal, trickster, or fool

Loiter-sack- One who is lazy; a slacker

Lout- An agitator

Lubberwort- A slow, simple-minded fool

Milksop - a feminine man

Ninnyhammer - An idiot

Pansy- A wimp

Patsy- King Arthur's servant

Ruffian - A violent criminal

Smellfungus- A killjoy; a whiner

Smellfeast- A fat moocher

Snipe - A lowly marsh bird

Snoutband- A loud-mouth

Stampcrab- A clumsy, big-footed fool

Strump - an unfaithful wife, an adulterer

Swine- A pig

Triptaker- A childish whiner

Urchin- a disgusting beggar

Varlot- a worthless fool

Vassal- a slave

Wheyface- A coward

Whoreson - Son of a ♥♥♥♥♥, some would assume
Intermediate Insults
Addle-brain - an insult of German origin, comes from the word used to describe rotten eggs

Adufe - A Moorish tamborine

Bagpipes - Should be taken as a compliment, those directed as an insult by many

Bedswerver- An adulterer; a defiler

Beshrewer - One who makes things wicked or sinful.

Bobolyne- Tudor word for fool; simpleton

Charlatan - A con-man.

Cumberground- Useless; dead weight

Dalcop- Literally meaning "dull head"; thick-headed

Drate-poke- One who rambles in speech pointlessly; a delinquent

Eunuch - A man who has been castrated

Fetor - A foul scent

Fussbudget - a timid person

Fustylugs- A hag; an unpleasant female

Gherkin - a small pickle

Gillie-Wet-Foot- An old Scottish word for a swindler; a cheater

Gorbelly - A bloated stomach (and not the haggis kind)

Harpy - A classic. Invokes the imagery of the half-woman, half-bird beasts of Greek mythology

Hugger-mugger- One who is the embodiment of confusion

Joithead- A hothead, one who rushes into a situation without thinking, Leeroy Jenkins

Klazomaniac- Someone who seemingly can only communicate through shouting; a loudmouth

Muck-spout- Someone who curses like a sailor

Malt-worm- An alcoholic

Mammet- A lifeless person

Measle- A viral infection that causes sores

Miscreant- A law-breaker

Moldwarp- A stupid person

Puttock- A vulture, a buzzard

Pumpion- One who lacks personal hygiene

Quisby- A slacker

Sackbutt - Yes, this was an instrument

Skinflint - A miser, someone with such greed they would take the skin off a flint

Shabbaroon - A poorly dressed individual

Spur-gall- An antagonistic person

Scut- A deer-ass, a deer's tail

Skainsmate- An unsavory associate

Sloven - A messy or careless person

Strumpet- A prost*tute (seems for some reason nobody liked them much)

Trencherman - A glutton

Trothless - Faithless, to lack loyalty. Literally meaning "promiseless"

Advanced Insults
Abydocomist- A liar

Bumblulum - The mythical instrument as described by St. Jerome, thought to be a predecesor to the organ

Codpiece- The piece of armor designed to protect the male genitalia (they're actually quite comfortable)

Driggle-draggle- A disgusting woman

Dewberry- A fool

Flap-dragon- A big-mouth

Flax-wench- A prost*tute

Fustilarian- A time-waster, worthless

Giglet- A lusty woman

Gollumpus - a large and clumsy individual

Gowpenful O' Anything- Someone who is a collection of all absurdities

Gudgeon- A gullible individual

Haggard- A sickly individual

Hurdy-gurdy - A mechanical violin, though those who do not know this will perceive it as the cruelest of insults

Leasing-monger- A liar; cheater

Loggerhead- A fool

Mumblecrust- A peasant; a filthy beggar

Puterelle - Toss this one at a lass, if you wish to call her a woman of poor reputation.

Raggabrash- An extremely revolting individual

Rakefire- An over-stayed guest; a moocher

Rascallion - Derived from the word rascal; a fiendish individual

Roiderbanks- A money-waster

Ronyon - Another one for the ladies- a an old hag.

Saddle-goose- A foolish time-waster

Scobberlotcher- A lazy good-for-nothing

Skelpie-limmer- A whiny little brat

Sneaksby - A coward

Sorner- a moocher

Starvelling - A malnourished person

Stymphalist- an unpleasant-smelling person

Tallowcatch- A womanizer

Wandought- One who is weak

Wiffle-waffle- An indecisive time-waster

Yaldson- literally meaning son of a prost*tute

Zoilist- An overly-critical nitpicker
Closing Statement
Use these comical chivalrous curses with pride and honor!
33 Comments
Doomgron 9 Nov, 2021 @ 8:39am 
Thank god this exists...
Zack 3 May, 2020 @ 5:57pm 
Loggerhead is still widely used.
Veetix 7 Apr, 2020 @ 7:22am 
nice
Mahtimies 15 Dec, 2019 @ 1:42am 
Its missing

''Your mother was a hamster and your father smellt of elderberries''
Kellum 29 Aug, 2018 @ 6:10pm 
if you had more things like names to objects(completely just made this one up)
sniffle wiffle-musical instrument such as flutes,whistles(pipe based instruments of the kind)
King Leonidas 25 Aug, 2018 @ 5:10am 
:steamhappy:
xxx 25 Nov, 2017 @ 4:03am 
DASDASD
Limonádový Joe 1 Nov, 2017 @ 5:36am 
9/10 IGN - Shitnoob missing
Daj mi Mydło 21 Oct, 2017 @ 5:05am 
Art Thou a Quisby much?
BloodyKhunts 7 Oct, 2017 @ 10:06pm 
you loggerheaded saddle goose