The Guardian’s list of 100 Britishcore experiences is getting rinsed, and rightly so

Remember that era of Twitter in 2010 where the funniest thing on earth was an account called VeryBritishProblems? Said account would post things like “Being unable to leave someone’s house without slapping your hands on your legs and saying ‘that’s me'” and we’d all die laughing. It was a different time, a time where saying “you’ve just won the internet today” might actually have been an endearing, witty and amusing selection of words. The Guardian has seemingly forgotten that we all lived through this era, and has today published a list of 100 “shared” British experiences that we apparently have all been through and that unite us through what it dubs the “rise of Britishcore”. Never has a listicle been more rinsed – and it’s easy to see why.

The whole thing reads as if it’s written by someone who worships at the altar of Tony Blair and thinks Taskmaster is the peak of television. It’s all got such a bizarre energy. And everyone is rinsing it for all its worth.

There is one that comes in at number seven that has garnered particular annoyance. It reads “Having a mate called Danny whose nickname is Danzo, ‘cuz he’s the king of Lanzo'”. One reaction to this simply and fairly responds “Am I having a stroke?”

There is a lot of general confusion as to why we’re doing the “rise of Britishcore” in 2024 when to the majority of us I think we’re all in agreement it has well and truly risen. This list is utterly bewildering for anyone under the age of 35 and remotely funny. There are only 100 things listed, and about half of them are abbreviations like “calling the pandemic the ‘panny d’, “referring to Sainsbury’s as ‘sainy b'”. Two of them are about Chicken Run.

“I cringed myself to death” is a common sentiment, with one person branding the Guardian list of 100 British things “hands down the worst thing ever printed in the history of newspapers”. Yikes.

Some that fully wound me up and deserve a rinsing include the following:

15. Referring to a Tesco hoisin duck wrap as “world cuisine” – No one does this.

20. Listening to N-Dubz at the back of the bus with no headphones. – It is 2024 and this publication is read by adults.

25. Point blank refusing to watch the episodes of Jonathan Creek that don’t have Caroline Quentin in them. – I do not know anyone alive who is watching Jonathan Creek

29. Watching Waterloo Road. – O-kay.

35. Referring to Magaluf as “shagaluf”. – Did I just fall into an episode of The Inbetweeners!?!?!

60. Joining a WhatsApp group called “Grigio Girlies”. – What the Lady Gaga on the Joanne Deluxe tracks is going on?

I am wearing myself thin with annoyance now, but if you want to peruse the extremely hated Guardian 100 British things Britishcore rundown, it’s here. You’ve been warned.

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