1. |
Phthalates
04:22
|
|||
2. |
Endocrine Disruptor
05:50
|
|||
|
happiness is chalky and white
and it comes in a blister pack
womanhood is a tiny pill,
sweet and baby blue
castration is rat poison
prettied up with mint
i flush my piss down into
the oceans and rivers
let all the frogs and fish
bathe in my oestrogen
let all of god’s creatures
be forcibly feminised
they are no longer his creations
if they’re intersex and sterilised
aesthetic endocrinology
we’ll make a woman out of ecology
if we are unnatural like they say
then we will take their precious nature away
|
||||
3. |
A Puzzle
03:09
|
|||
|
pull yourself open
and undo the knots
of your bowels
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
my worm writhes inside me
i love her more than i can say
she sucks my blood and eats my flesh
and fills the lesions with her eggs
she coils around in shibari knots
crawls under skin around my veins
if i am a bottom then she’s a top
if i am the host then she is a welcome guest
she's a parasite and my kink
a disease but i fucking get off to it
an endless drive for endless life
your love of me of which i’m blind
i’ll let her feed until i die
she’s my only excuse of why i’m alive
once i’m used up she’ll move somewhere else
both immortal and a lifeless corpse
|
||||
5. |
Pattern Screamers
05:22
|
|||
|
a girl
so easy to destroy
metastable
nothing she can do
a girl
no way out
forgotten, used up
wave function collapse
a girl
trapped in a bedroom
a landfill
a rat’s nest
a girl
queen of machines
they never leave
singularity
why would you bother going outside
when all the grass is dead?
|
||||
6. |
Jawline
02:20
|
|||
7. |
Weaponised Dysphoria
02:41
|
|||
|
please god kill the boy in me
|
||||
8. |
Sleep Hygiene
05:15
|
|||
|
this bed
is my body
i rest
and do nothing
like death
unproductive
i feel safe
and be nobody
stay in bed
stay in bed
stay in bed
stay in bed
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
(Xandra)
don’t give up
before the war is lost
there is still
light
at the end
of infinity
you just need to
get up and
run
(Lane)
吕祖曰：天地视人如蜉蝣，大道视天地亦泡影，性元神真性，则超元会儿上之。*
(In comparison with heaven and spirit, man is like mayfly. But compared to the great way, heaven and
earth, too, are like a bubble and a shadow. Only the primal spirit and the true nature overcome time and
space.)
所以，当人不再为之倾出所有，承以死亡的光驱，精神更上一级，静若止水*
(If one wants to maintain the primal spirit, one must first subjugate to perceiving spirit. The way to
subjugate it is through the circulation of the light, one must forget both body and heart, the heart must die,
the spirit live.)
* from the book《太乙金华宗旨》by LÜ Dongbin, later translated into The Secret of The Golden Flower by
Richard Wilhelm and Carl Jung
i open
all the wounds
i comfort them
comfort them
i comfort them
oh how i long for you
(i comfort them)
oh how it does not matter
i comfort them
(Xandra)
i saw
the ghost
if the boy i was
i mourned
the corpse
of the girl i loved
|
||||
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