Monzo Bank

If you go on holiday and don't bring snacks back for everyone in the office, don't come back.

LOW STAKES MOMENTS AT WORK THAT FEEL INCREDIBLY HIGH PRESSURE: - when your card doesn’t work at the entrance gates and there’s 10 people behind you waiting - sharing your screen (even though you've been doing this for years now) - revolving doors, just in general - buttering your toast as quickly as possible to avoid taking up precious kitchen space - holding the lift door for someone that’s just a little bit too far away, when there’s already five people in the lift - coming up with a "fun fact" about yourself during intros - when it’s 59 minutes past the hour and your meeting hasn’t wrapped up and you know the room is booked straight after, and they're already right outside, and - oh no - they've started knocking - when something silly trends on social and the entire company sends it to you asking how we’ll jump on (ok this might just be us)

MUNDANE POLL:

WORK MESSAGES YOU WISH YOU COULD SEND: - no I don't want to "circle back" - I'd honestly rather eat glass than come to that meeting - ask someone else - I simply do not know or care - shall we go for lunch? [it's 10am]

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💡Reminder to water those office plants. No, they shouldn’t be brown and drooping on the floor like that.

"You’re so funny” Thanks, we have a 67-slide social media strategy deck that outlines in excruciating detail how we use humour on social to drive business goals.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON TO-DO LIST: - put on your favourite music - shut down at least 10 of your open tabs - have a nice cup of your favourite brew - clean your desk - watch the clock count down till 5pm so you can log off - celebrate the end of this very, very long month

TOP TIPS TO HELP YOU FOCUS AND INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY: - Maybe start by getting off Linkedin

INTRODUCING: STARTUP IDEA OF THE YEAR 🏅 That hot idea to grow your business you’ve always said you’ll “get around to one day?” Well, “one day” has arrived, and we want to hear it! We’re collaborating with Enterprise Nation on opening applications to exciting new business growth ideas from across the UK, with a top prize of £10,000 up for grabs to help bring them to life. And all eligible applicants will also get a free 6-month subscription to a Monzo Business Pro bank account*. (Subject to eligibility, excluding existing Monzo customers. Enterprise Nation will notify eligible applicants when the offer is ready to be redeemed). Applications close on February 28th at 11.59pm so be quick. Apply now via the link in comments 👇 *Monzo Business Pro costs £9 per month after trial ends, only sole traders or limited company directors can apply. Ts and Cs apply.