The Silent Why Podcast

If you're new to us, hello 👋 welcome to The Silent Why Podcast Facebook Page, I'm Claire Sandys (yes, the y is silent 😉), podcast host/producer/editor (and everything else that needs to be done on a podcast), blog writer, and marzipan lover. This is a UK-based podcast on a mission to find 101 different types of #loss to see if hope can be found in every kind of grief. New episodes are released every other Tuesday (with occasional bonus episodes in between). Loss isn't just about death and bereavement, grief is encountered through the loss of a job, an arm, health, a dream, an achievement, time, items... the list is endless (or at least up to 101 anyway😉). And I want to help others understand loss better by producing content that explores all kinds of #grief, chatting to those who have been through it and those with experience and expertise in it. My husband and I faced the complicated loss of something we actually never had in the first place - our own children. Our journey through infertility resulted in childlessness (more about that in Episode 3) and we thought, if we're experiencing this strange sort of loss, then they'll be loads of other losses out there that people are experiencing that also don't get talked about enough. And that's when #TheSilentWhy was born. But we didn't just want to find people who had been through each loss to talk about them, we also wanted to see if it was possible to find hope in every kind of grief. So that's what we ask people about and that's what we're looking for. Is it possible to find hope, or maybe even joy, through every kind of loss? We also ask all our guests the same last question; 'What's your Herman?' (visit https://lnkd.in/eqz-tMdr to find out what that means) For more about us and our story, the podcast, the ongoing 101 losses list, blog posts, newsletter sign-up, how to get through loss and grief, how to support others, how to listen to a podcast, where to find our episodes and much more, visit: www.thesilentwhy.com And if you'd like to support this labour of love (which I'm currently running full time without another source of income) you can do that by going to https://lnkd.in/d-GZBfkx and buying me a fancy tea, or supporting me regularly. Thank you for joining me on this journey and I hope you'll tune in and find out more about navigating loss yourself, or helping others through it. Claire x

🎙️ Podcast Rewind: Meet Mick North. https://lnkd.in/er_dHwFW Losing a child is always tragic, but when a community loses multiple children suddenly, the ripple effects can be huge. On 13 March 1996, a 43-year-old man walked into Dunblane Primary School near Stirling, Scotland, and shot dead sixteen pupils and one teacher. Fifteen others were also injured before he killed himself. It remains the deadliest mass shooting in British history. In Loss 26 of 101 we spoke to Mick North, who very kindly agreed to be part of the podcast and share what it was like to lose his beautiful daughter Sophie at the age of five years old in the Dunblane shooting. The outpouring of loss and grief that follows a school shooting is vast and wide-reaching, and as these sorts of tragedies are, sadly, still occurring regularly across the world, we wanted to speak to someone who's been at the heart of such grief. Sadly, this wasn't the only loss Mick faced in the 1990's as just two-and-a-half years earlier, Mick's wife died of breast cancer. While coming to terms with this, Mick also stepped back from his successful academic career, driven to campaign work for tighter gun laws in the UK. In this episode Mick shares the ups and downs of having to grieve so publicly, the challenges of dealing with two losses so close together, his memories with his family, and his work campaigning in gun control. These aren't easy subjects to talk about, but they are important ones. Would you know what to say if you met someone with Mick's story? We hope that listening to conversations like these will equip you to feel more confident around helping, and engaging with, people who are grieving. For more about Mick, visit the podcast show notes. #thesilentwhy #griefsupport #griefandloss #dunblaneshooting #schoolshooting #grief #loss #guncrime

This is a post to remind you that not everyone is putting out inspirational videos about how to fold your pants better, amazing ways to style your shelves, or how to run a six-figure crochet business. There are also a lot of us who are giving our 100% by just putting out the odd post; which takes us 30 minutes to design on Canva, 20 minutes to write, and 15 mins to edit and post, before we need a nap. And that's just a bit of text on a colourful background, we're not talking high-tech videos here, people! 😆 I've been hitting some rather frustrating health complications with my HRT medication over the last few weeks, and it's likely to last into the new year. This means my head is foggy, my energy is on the floor, and my interaction levels are set to 'minimum'. So naturally I'm watching anyone on social media that's doing great with their amazing content and thinking - [insert noise of raspberry being blown]. So, instead of crafting brilliant social media posts (which just made me laugh because I'm not sure I've ever done that!) I'm focusing the energy I do have on my podcast episodes. Which actually feed back into me, because our guests are such amazing people who constantly inspire me with their wisdom on how to find hope in grief. Sometimes you need to prioritise, sometimes you need to accept that you can only do so much, sometimes you need to acknowledge this isn't a season that will be as fruitful or as productive as other seasons - and that's ok. 😉 I'm preaching to myself as much as anyone, but I just wanted to post, because I know there are others of you out there that feel this pressure too, and you're not alone. I'm literally not alone because I have Herman next to me on my desk to remind me things are gonna be ok, that I'm still dealing with childless grief and sorting through that (and that's ok), and that there's always hope. 💙 If you have no idea what I'm talking about visit www.thehermancompany.com So, don't worry, you've got this, stop comparing yourself to others, go find some videos of raccoons or panda's eating carrots, stick the kettle on, and grab some marzipan. 👌 You're not alone.

🎙️ NEW EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️ https://lnkd.in/e9HJDa4Q How does the grief of losing someone to suicide differ from other deaths? What emotions and questions does it raise? And what if your spouse dies when you're five months pregnant with his child? All very big questions that the lovely Rachel Hart was kind enough to come and chat to us about. Suicide is an area of loss that we've wanted to explore on the podcast for a while, because when someone dies to suicide it can add an extra level of complications and questions to the grief. In this episode we explore this kind of grief with Rachel, from Liverpool, who was five months pregnant when the police knocked on her door to tell her that her husband had been found dead. She was later told he had died by suicide. And Rachel was no stranger to grieving before this, having lost both her parents before her mid-30’s, but this kind of grief took her to a whole new level. Rachel shares about the blessing that Covid lockdowns turned out to be (with a new baby), how she managed new emotions like anger, and what people can say (and avoid saying!) when faced with a story like hers. When you meet people who have been through grief like this it can be hard to know how to respond. If you met Rachel and she told you her story, would you know what to say? Well, we ask her about this to help you. We've put this episode together, to not only share her story for those that have been through similar, but also to help you know how to talk to people who have experiences like this. This episode also includes some guidance on the right language to use around suicide deaths. Plus, Rachel shares how and when hope returned to help her look to the future. Of course. We're all about hope 😉. And in this episode - disco balls! For more about Rachel and the charities and books she recommends, visit the podcast show notes. #grief #loss #lifeafterloss #suicideloss #suicideawareness #griefandloss #bereavement

I was given this book a few months ago for my birthday by the very lovely, local-podcast-listener-turned-friend, Sarah. I don't read a lot of non-fiction (my heart was stolen by fiction many years ago), but when I do stray over to the other side, this is the kind of book I want to find. I hadn't heard of this book, so I wasn't sure what I was getting into, but it didn't take long for it to grip me and for me to start throwing all kinds of facts about dead bodies at my husband. All That Remains (A Life in Death) is written by a forensic anthropologist called Susan Black (a.k.a. Baroness Black of Strome). It's a fascinating dive into the life and work of an anthropologist, whether that's dissecting bodies, explaining why people dismember bodies (and how best to do that!), how you identify people after they've died, working in disaster zones like Kosovo and Thailand (after the tsunami), and so much more. It definitely won't be for everyone, but if death, and what happens after people die, interests you in any way at all, then I thoroughly recommend it. It's very accessible, down to earth, easy to read, fascinating, heart-breaking, and generally a really inspiring read. I'm very grateful for the chance to read such a book, that wouldn't have probably crossed my path if it wasn't given to me, so thank you, Sarah #allthatremians #allthatremainsalifeindeath #sueblack #forensicanthropology #alifeindeath #bookrecommendations

🎙️NEW (VERY SHORT) EPISODE OUT NOW🎙️ https://lnkd.in/ezXJKxj9 I'm not alone in recognising that life is a bit crazy at the moment, right? Sometimes we need to remember to stop for a few minutes. So these very short, episodes pop up every now and then to help you do just that. 7 minutes total, and it includes 2 minutes of time for you and you alone - to check in, see how you're really feeling, and I'll guide you through thinking about one specific question. Join me in The Eternal Forest and allow yourself to press pause on life for a few minutes. The Eternal Forest is a stunning natural burial ground in North Wales, as we wander through the forest, listen for the birds and insects, feel the crunch of nature under your feet and let the forest atmosphere do its thing around you. 🥰. #thesilentwhy #loss #grief #presspause #timeforyou

Exactly 3 years ago today we hesitantly posted the first two episodes of The Silent Why podcast with our lovely podcast host - Buzzsprout... and our podcasting journey began. Since then we've released 202 episodes, had over 35,000 downloads from 117 countries/territories and 2,844 cities. People have downloaded our podcast in Europe, North America, South America, Oceania, Asia and Africa. And thanks to the extreme kindness of others through Buy Me a Coffee & The Herman Company the podcast financially supports itself. It's been an amazing journey so far, filled with many highs, some lows, and lots of 'could I do more on social media' guilt! 🤣 We've passed the halfway point of the 101 losses we're searching for, currently about to record Loss 60, and we continue to be inspired, encouraged and challenged by our amazing guests. Thank you to everyone that's been a part of it in any way so far, we are so grateful and humbled that so many people choose our platform to share their experiences with grief, loss and hope. If you'd like to help me celebrate this anniversary and help others through their grief, there are a few ways: 💙 Buy a Herman for someone you love that's having a tough time. In the last year Hermans have morphed from a question we ask all our guests, through to an actual handmade (by me!) grief companion you can buy and send to someone who's struggling - www.thehermancompany.com. ☕️ Support me through https://lnkd.in/d-GZBfkx as a one-off or regular supporter. From as little as £3 a month you can help ensure the podcast continues (all podcast work is done by me, and the only pay I get is through supporters). 📝Or you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, they are hugely important for helping others find us. Thank you to everyone that's ever been involved with the podcast or contacted us in any capacity - yes, even you podcast-promoter-spam-people 😘. And a huge shout out to my amazing husband, occasional co-host, and Senior Editor 😉 Chris Sandys - for letting me try this journey instead of a 'normal' job 😘. Here's to the next year, folks 🥂 #thesilentwhy #podcasting #loss #grief #lossandgrief #podcastlife #griefcompanions #hope

I get it. Talking to someone who is grieving, or going through a big loss, or facing a major shift in their life or health, is hard. And there's a few paths we may have taken in situations like these... - Go completely silent and die inside with the awkwardness of it all - Try not to say the wrong thing, but in doing so, say something very inappropriate or just plain weird - Slowly back away - Really really want to help the person but having no clue how to do this, reject yourself as a caring human and decide to live in a cave. It's not easy. For anyone. We've all got it wrong at some point. Even people who work around grief will have stories of when they've put their foot in it. If it's not a complete mind-blank then it might be responding to horrible news with 'you're joking?!' or 'you've got to be kidding me' or finding out someone just died and then saying 'no he didn't!' Sometimes it's the shock that makes us respond inappropriately, sometimes it's lack of care with our words, sometimes it's the assumption everyone has a life like ours. However, there's no excuse to keep getting it wrong, because we can all learn to be more careful. After interviewing nearly 100 people about loss, I've taken note of the hurtful things they've heard, and now I want to help you avoid the same pitfalls. Listen to the full blog now... Podcast episode: https://lnkd.in/e-dSyS6i Or read it here: https://lnkd.in/d27VFNdw And when it comes to reaching out to people who are in a bad place, maybe because of a bereavement, a diagnosis, or a loss -then I've created a way to help you out. It's even better than flowers, lasts longer than any food or candle, and is so unique and personal, I guarantee you they'll love it. 😉 Enter Herman. For more about these little grief buddies visit the website: www.thehermancompany.com Or https://lnkd.in/es88nYeJ Hermans are handmade in the UK by me, and can be posted anywhere in the world to someone that needs some company in their loss or loneliness. #thesilentwhy #thehermancompany #hermancompanion #griefgifts #bereavementgifts #lossgifts #hospitalgifts #griefsupport #grieftips #loss #grief

Just my thoughts on tonight's BBC Panorama on the Menopause Industry... 👇

🎙️ NEW EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️ https://lnkd.in/eHQQwWv2 What is it like doing chaplaincy work on the frontline with the police? Or experiencing the worst humans can do to each other up close? Loss 56 of 101: Loss in the role of a Police Chaplain Meet Jared Altic from Kansas City, a full-time pastor, a podcaster (Hey Chaplain Podcast) and a Police Chaplain at his local police department. He's also a returning guest to The Silent Why - find out why in the episode. 😉 Jared has over 25 years of experience serving and counselling military and law enforcement families, responding to families of crime victims and working long-term with police in areas of wellness. In this episode Jared shares why he does this kind of work, the challenges it can bring to his own wellbeing, how he makes sure his work doesn’t always get the best of him, how he deals with compassion fatigue, and the toll being around death can take on a person. What I really love about Jared, is that despite all the horrendous things he's witnessed, he’s still a strong believer in hope... for everyone. 😍 To listen to Jared's podcast, ‘Hey, Chaplain’, visit: https://lnkd.in/eyEppXpT #thesilentwhypodcast #thesilentwhy #policechaplain #officerwellness #heychaplainpodcast