A 33-Year-Old Is Being Called A "Selfish Snake" After She Refused To Invite Any Family To Her Gender Reveal Party

Here's the story: "My (18-year-old female) sister (33-year-old female) is currently three months into her pregnancy. She was very secretive about the entire thing and didn’t tell anybody in her life about it until a few weeks ago. Last week, my sister got the results for her baby’s gender in the mail."

"She told my mother about receiving the results and how she hadn’t opened it yet, and my mother began to flood her with questions about if she was going to do a gender reveal party, if she could help out with the gender reveal party, how she should come to our house to talk about the baby, etc. My sister brushed a lot of it off by saying she simply didn’t know what she wanted to do yet."

"Well, this week, my sister added everyone in our immediate family to a WhatsApp group chat. She said nothing, just sent a video of her and her fiancé popping small party poppers as a gender reveal celebration."

"There was no crowd — no friends, no family — just them and a cameraman to document the entire thing. They had decided on doing a private gender reveal just for the two of them."

"My mom was absolutely livid upon seeing the video."

"She instantly stormed downstairs to talk (see: yell) to my father about how my sister was a snake who didn’t see the value in family; how she couldn’t believe that her own daughter would betray her like this; how she was a horrible role model to her younger siblings, etc. My dad echoed her sentiments. They are furious that my sister decided that she wanted a private moment to celebrate HER pregnancy that didn’t involve anybody else except HERSELF. They called her selfish for it. They said she was going down the wrong path with this pregnancy all because she didn’t want the moment to be about anybody other than herself. They sent her a very long, nasty message about how they felt about her gender reveal celebration not involving them."

"Now, this is where I may be the asshole, but I truly do not see the issue with any of my sister’s actions. She has had a pretty tough relationship with my parents in recent years due to them wanting to exert a lot of control over her when she was well into her 20s, and her relationship with our mother is EXTRA strained because she feels our mother is a very self-centered, egotistical, manipulative woman that can’t handle criticism well."

"I can completely understand why my sister feels the way she does and why she wanted a private gender reveal party. I sympathize with her wanting to keep it between her and her fiancé, and I let her know that.

I’m super lost on how to feel about everything. I don’t want my sister to feel like everyone in our family is against her because of how harsh my family is being, but at the same time, I’m still young and don’t know everything."

"I don’t know if my parents are justified in feeling the way they do, but I don’t think it’s wrong for my sister to want to go about her pregnancy privately. So, am I the asshole?" the sister concluded.

And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Overwhelmingly, those commenting on the post expressed disappointment over the parents' actions, saying they made someone else's milestone moment about themselves.

"Not the asshole for supporting your sister and recognizing her need for privacy, especially given her complicated relationship with your parents," Reddit user BadXbadGirl commented. "It’s understandable that she would want to celebrate a significant moment in her life on her own terms, particularly after feeling controlled in the past. Your parents' reaction seems more about their own expectations and desires than about your sister's choices."

Agreeing, KrofftSurvivor wrote:

"Not the asshole. Your mother and father are not pregnant. Your sister is pregnant. The pregnant person gets to make the decisions about their pregnancy.

Given their history with your sister, they seem to be working really hard on making sure that they have no access to this upcoming grandchild.

Continue being supportive of your sister. If the rest of your family chooses to support your parents in their unreasonable quest for control, they are likely to be cut out of your sister's life as well."

"It's the sister's pregnancy," abstractengineer2000 added. "So she can do what she wants."

"If the mother wants a gender reveal, she can get pregnant herself by the father, and then both can celebrate the same. Selfish is the correct word to describe the mom since she seemed rather concerned about herself rather than the sister or the baby."

Others zoned in on the mother's behavior as a signal as to why the sister has a strained relationship with their parents in the first place.

"I can understand why your sister chose to do this by herself," aj_alva said. "I just got a small glimpse of your mother and can see the self-centered, egotistical, manipulative woman your sister is hiding from. (And your dad probably just goes with whatever flow she creates.)

You are not that young — you know enough to know this is wrong. I hope you stay close and keep supporting her because you might be the only person she really has right now."

Finally, the younger sister was validated in feeling her parents are wrong, and some commenters suggested she keep her eyes open as she gains her own independence.

"Your parents are very entitled and not at all justified in demanding your sister celebrate her pregnancy and choose to live her life how they have decided she will do it. They still have control issues, and as long as she continues to establish healthy boundaries to protect her and her child from them, they will carry on acting like spoilt, demanding brats while playing the victim.

A fair warning: The moment they start to notice they can't control you like they have in the past, they will treat you the same.

Not the asshole. Send her some love and let her know how much you appreciate her," SpinachnPotatoes wrote. 

What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments.