A Therapist Told Kim Kardashian She’s Always So Calm Because She’s “Frozen In Fight Or Flight” After Enduring So Much Trauma

    “I remember him telling me, stay calm and you’ll live…I did that, and it served me well at that time. I think it saved my life.”

    Ellen Durney
    by Ellen Durney

    BuzzFeed Staff

    For years, Kim Kardashian has claimed her ultimate “superpower” is her calmness. Now, she and Khloé Kardashian have unpacked why that might be.

    Kim Kardashian on the red carpet wearing a high-neck dress adorned with reflective, jewel-like embellishments
    Dia Dipasupil / Getty Images

    If you’ve been watching this season of The Kardashians, you’ll know Kim recently decided to get therapy to help her develop stricter boundaries at home with her kids: North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm.

    Kim Kardashian in a close-up shot, looking slightly off-camera with a neutral expression and wearing a simple, sleeveless top
    Hulu / Disney+

    Historically, Kim has been reluctant to seek therapy, but over the past few episodes, we’ve seen that she’s already finding it helpful. And this week, she talked to Khloé about a recent development.

    Kim Kardashian in a casual setting, wearing a simple white T-shirt, looking intently to the side
    Hulu / Disney+

    “So I met with a therapist again,” Kim told her sister. “She was like, You think calm is your superpower. I think you are so desensitized from trauma that you literally are frozen in fight or flight. Then she was like, One time in life, something happened, and you remained calm, and that worked for you, so you will always choose calm.”

    Kim Kardashian sits on a cream-colored sofa, wearing a white T-shirt and black pants, gesturing with one hand while holding an item in the other
    Hulu / Disney+

    Before Kim could say any more, Khloé was quick to suggest that her Paris robbery may have been the traumatic event that prompted her shift in attitude.

    Khloé Kardashian is reclining on a couch, wearing a camo jacket over a black shirt, holding a phone with a serious expression on her face
    Hulu / Disney+

    “You weren’t calm before,” she observed. “Kim, you were a lunatic…you became calm.”

    For context, in October 2016, Kim was robbed at gunpoint by a group of masked men who broke into her hotel room in Paris while she was alone. The intruders stole millions of dollars worth of jewelry, and Kim has since described the ordeal as “seven or eight minutes of torture.”

    Kim Kardashian steps out of a car in a stylish, low-cut black top and sunglasses, with long, straight hair flowing over her shoulders
    James Devaney / GC Images

    During a 2020 interview with David Letterman, Kim said she was tied up and bound with zip ties, duct tape, and handcuffs. She also said the robbers — who’d reportedly been planning the attack for two years — used duct tape to cover her eyes and mouth.


    After the robbers threw her into a bathtub, Kim said she mentally prepared herself for the fact that she might die and that her sister, Kourtney Kardashian Barker — who was staying in the same hotel suite as her but was out at the time of the attack — would later discover her body.


    “I just kept thinking about Kourtney,” she remembered. “I kept on thinking, She’s gonna come home, and I’m gonna be dead in the room, and she’s gonna be traumatized for the rest of her life if she sees me.”

    Discussing the robbery now, Khloé suggested the harrowing ordeal hugely changed Kim’s approach to managing trauma and stress.

    Kim Kardashian poses outdoors wearing a gray shawl, looking to the left, with soft makeup and wavy platinum blonde hair cascading over her shoulders
    Theo Wargo / The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images

    “Everything stopped after you got robbed because you stayed calm in that situation,” she told Kim, noting that she was “never calm” as a teenager or in her 20s. “You even said: My calmness is what kept me alive. That’s when it started.”

    Kim considered this and, in her confessional, spoke more about the lasting repercussions of the traumatic experience.

    Kim Kardashian sitting on a couch, wearing a simple black top, with a minimalist background behind her
    Hulu / Disney+

    “Imagine you’re like, gun to your head, getting tied up, dragged across a hotel room, and the guy, I remember him telling me, stay calm and you’ll live…I did that, and it served me well at that time. I think it saved my life,” she said. “But I think I’ve let it get too calm to [the point] where people could take advantage of my calmness. Or I’m just turning into a full robot with no emotion.”

    In previous years, Kim has talked about how her ability to keep her cool was particularly beneficial during and after her turbulent marriage to Kanye West.

    Kanye West in a gray coat and Kim Kardashian in a shimmering dress pose together at a Versace event. Versace text in the background
    Roy Rochlin / Getty Images

    In an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians filmed one month before Kim filed for divorce from Kanye in 2021, Kris Jenner praised her daughter for how well she was handling the impending breakup, which was caused, in part, by Kanye’s 2020 presidential run.


    “I’m numb. I’m tired of that. But I do know that I will be happy. I didn’t come this far just to come this far and not be happy. Remember that,” Kim said as Kris hailed her strength. “Calmness is my superpower.”

    The Kardashians can be streamed on Hulu in the US and Disney+ internationally. The Season 5 finale will be released on July 25.

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