People usually marry with the best intentions, but unfortunately, sometimes people change, leaving you with no choice but to split up. People of both the BuzzFeed Community and Reddit shared the moment they knew their marriage was sadly over. Here is what they shared:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "We got married and immediately moved to Atlanta because of his job. Neither of us had family there but I figured we would support each other. I was wrong. First I got sick at work and couldn't drive myself home. I called him and he refused to come get me. Fortunately, one of my co-workers was nice enough to take me home and stay with me the rest of the day until he came home. Next, he began to tell me that I wasn't his type."
2. "My husband said 'He would never love a person like he does a place,' referring to his farm being more important to me."
3. "When she slept with a high-school flame for a year whilst hiding it and staying home on my single income. We weren’t working [as a couple]. I knew that. I was trying to improve things, and we’d talked about it, but she somehow neglected to give me that detail. I’m not angry that she didn’t love me. But fuck, just tell me. Don’t do me dirty like that after 13 years."
4. "I knew the marriage was over when working tons of overtime for many months and making an extra $50k. I looked to see how much we had saved and saw the empty account. On top of that, she maxed out her credit card. When I confronted her, she got pissed off and said how dare you check on me and how much I spend. All the while, she had never even had a full-time job."
5. "I got married. Went on a honeymoon in China. We were both PhD students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her $10,000 for the honeymoon. So we go to China to celebrate, AND she wants to do some light pre-dissertation research while there for a month or two. Fine. I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin, and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to get to an airport to fly back home easily (I also had zero family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped. I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip, not like a honeymoon, and how I was alone almost every day."
"We were sharing a laptop while on the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school). I opened the laptop one morning before she left to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message on the laptop. It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip — our honeymoon. Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon with maybe a slight detour for research. It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden.
She apologized. We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker. I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email."
6. "I had no idea how he felt about me. Almost nine years together. He didn't propose, I did. He didn't tell his family when we married. They found out online. He never shared his energy or emotions with me. I ultimately realized that I didn't even know what he thought of me other than that I was pretty. I didn't know if he thought I was cool, funny or interesting, or smart. I would share my thoughts, interests, and humor with him. I'd get nothing in return. I realized it had always been this way. I felt unseen, unheard. I felt like I was boring and uninteresting. I didn't feel special. I just wanted to feel some sort of connection. I wanted our souls to meet. He seemed incapable."
7. "I had a beautiful relationship while dating my husband, but once we got married, it was over. He said he owned me, and I had to do whatever he wanted. We divorced after two years. After that, I met a beautiful man who raised his two sons, and we had two daughters later."
8. "I realized this on my wedding day. We were married at her parents' house, a beautiful place in a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I found her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say, our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. Five years later, she went into inpatient treatment, and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce."
9. "Both my parents had a disability. To help out daily, I moved them to the city where my wife and I were working. One day, in a whining voice, she complained, 'We’re spending too much money on your parents.' My exit from the marriage was shortly afterward."
10. "One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself."
11. "I got married on our daughter's first birthday at the courthouse. He returned to his mom's house right after the ceremony. He proceeded to the mall with his cousin. Two hours later, I got a call. He gave this lady his phone number. She was returning his call. He told her he was single. Sometimes, kids need one parent to thrive."
12. "He threw a surprise birthday for me, and towards the end I was inside near the food table and everyone had already gone outside. I affectionately called him over as he was passing by to have a moment, he rolled his eyes and walked on saying he was hanging out with so and so. Anyone, even a stranger on the road, was always more important, he just did not give a fuck about me. He only did things for how he would appear to others."
13. "On the wedding day, she spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one footing the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more. She said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars), but I told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, and in comes the ice cream truck. I knew right then, sadly."
14. "I traveled for my job, and my wife was very jealous. No matter how hard I tried to convince her I would be faithful, she didn’t trust me. She would call the hotel I was staying in late at night to ensure I was alone. She would call all the phone numbers on my work phone, and if a woman answered, she would ask them how they knew my husband. We tried three different counselors, but she didn’t like anything they had to say. Sex with her was fantastic, and I gave her no reason not to trust me, but in the end, I couldn’t take the constant jealousy."
15. "My mother passed away suddenly. I was a student nurse at the time and found her. I tried unsuccessfully to resuscitate her. It was the worst moment of my life — I was beyond broken. My husband never hugged me or attempted to console/reassure me, he only said 'Man, that’s tough.'"
I went through months of being numb and on autopilot. After her funeral, I immediately started getting my ducks in a row to move out. A year later, I had graduated, had a great job as an OB/GYN RN, and left his sorry ass. He has been married twice since, and he has faced karma."