I Cannot Overstate How Funny These 24 Tweets By Women Are
"3rd base is actually when they help you clean your room"—@orbeezgod
We're more than halfway through the year, and IDK about you, but I'm at a point where I can't take all the emails:
i hope this email fucks with your sense of time and space and meaning
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 19, 2024
In between crafting your next "circling back!" reply, feel free to laugh at these tweets and make sure to follow these funny ladies on X (aka Twitter)!
1.
men love asking, "CaN yOu CoOk?" btch can you change my oil and tire?
— ube (@bbyube) June 19, 2024
2.
In bathroom at casino, asked a lady in her 70s if she’d tie the bow around my waist. My god. One of your grandmothers snatched that thing so hard I grew an inch taller. I looked like a vertical hornet. Much to learn from women who grew up before we had rights
— Honey (@benegotherit) June 19, 2024
3.
before washing my hair: the world is bad and i am bad
— erin chack (@ErinChack) June 18, 2024
after washing my hair: there is poetry everywhere, in the cracks of the sidewalk, in the great ocean of the sky. here, child. have $20 from my wallet.
4.
3rd base is actually when they help you clean your room
— orbeez god (@orbeezgod) June 19, 2024
5.
proud of being a woman in a male dominated field (weaponised incompetence)
— abrish (@cxrnerrstone) June 19, 2024
6.
Didn't realize how few perks we have at the office til I said "we're allowed to listen to the radio on Friday!" to a new hire in a way that can be likened to a girl of 12 saying "I got an orange for Christmas!" as her papa lay dying of gangrene after the Battle of Fredericksburg
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) June 18, 2024
7.
never related more to a bridgerton character than when cressida cowper broke down in tears because she's got writer's block after only producing three lines of writing in an entire day of work.
— ayan. (@artan_ayan) June 18, 2024
this season was for the writers, not the lovers. pic.twitter.com/LvcO1q0MyL
8.
“I’m in my bitch era” - me writing an email with 2 exclamation marks instead of 3
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) June 17, 2024
9.
I keep seeing people write “miss information” instead of “misinformation” and all I can picture when I read it is this pic.twitter.com/CSPpRiuX3f
— Grapie Deltaco 🇵🇷 (@grapiedeltaco) June 16, 2024
10.
human eyes are not meant to see a naked body wearing an apple watch
— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel) June 15, 2024
11.
I am the eldest daughter of a boomer woman, it is funny that men on here think they can say shit even half as cutting as anything my own mother has said to me lol
— Dead Eyes, Horse Teeth (@thereisnojayjay) June 14, 2024
12.
being home with family is humbling, like they really do think you are the stupidest person to ever be born
— jamie loftus 🌭 (@jamieloftusHELP) June 15, 2024
13.
"its all in your head" ok :) i live in there so :)
— van haley (@vanhaley_yt) June 14, 2024
14.
antihistamine is not enough I want to shoot the pollen
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 14, 2024
15.
I realized that my dear sweet daughter thought having your period is a *choice* and now she’s crying because I informed her it is not
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 19, 2024
16.
“Don’t double text it’ll make u seem needy and overeager” ok but those r two of my core personality traits like I’m gonna come off that way with or without double texting just by nature of being who I am
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) June 19, 2024
17.
if only there was some way to know if the other cars were planning on turning or changing lanes
— tanya (@Tanya_Sabrinaaa) June 18, 2024
18.
whenever i see a woman getting criticized for being mean towards a man, i always feel like she could’ve been meaner
— cindy ✯ (@RUNYOMONEY) June 18, 2024
19.
need a dating app for the ppl whose fave thing to do is nothing. no hiking. no adventure. just ordering takeout is enough for me.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) June 19, 2024
20.
My husband told me I act like he forgets everything. So this morning when his alarm went off, I let him get ready for work and leave. He forgot he was off today.
— Nikki Savoy ✨is ON SUBMISSION✨ (@IAmNikkiSavoy) June 19, 2024
21.
Got catcalled** at Walgreens today
— Sarah York (@thesarahyork) June 19, 2024
**some guy said “CEREAL TIME” as I walked by with a huge box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
22.
i schedule my emails to send at 9:17 or 8:34 or whatever so it seems more authentic. everyone knows what's up with a 9:00 email
— anna (@moonbeeaam) June 19, 2024
23.
thanks for reminding me https://t.co/E9bGPaG1yr
— alison lohman (@ActwithAlison) June 19, 2024
24.
i hope this email never finds you, be free 🩷
— erika (@yeeeerika) June 20, 2024
Don't miss last week's funniest tweets by women:
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