We're in sales. We are met with objections every day. We turn a customer's no into a yes, and that's by actively listening and meeting their needs. We have to do the same for our staff. Listen to the objections, and meet the training needs. Self-defense is just a lack of self-esteem, and we are responsible for getting them excited about training.

Defensiveness in sales isn't a wall; it's a signal saying, 'I'm stuck and need direction.' I once coached a trainee who shut down whenever their low numbers were brought up. Instead of pushing harder, I flipped the script: “What’s one area you think could unlock better results for you?” This simple shift turned defensiveness into engagement, making it a joint problem-solving effort. We pinpointed specific roadblocks and set achievable, confidence-building goals. By the end, the trainee was not only more open but also more driven to take ownership of their growth. Turning defensiveness into dialogue isn’t about confrontation; it’s about listening, understanding, and guiding them back to their best selves.

focus on collaboration rather than confrontation. Start by acknowledging their perspective and showing empathy. Then, shift the discussion from blame to problem-solving by asking open-ended questions like, "What challenges are you facing?" or "How can I support you?" This approach lowers defenses, encourages self-reflection, and creates a shared responsibility for improvement