A diverse client is uncomfortable with your coaching methods. How can you address their concerns effectively?

Anytime a client feels uncomfortable with our coaching, it's time to get curious. Curious questions are the foundation of effective coaching. We all have blinders on because of our own experience, and we might not see areas in our methodology that might cause reactions in our clients. Recognizing that our clients' life experiences are different from ours, understanding their experience, reaction, and response to our coaching is essential in achieving positive results.

A few years back, I coached Arjun, a senior exec at a tech firm. He seemed uneasy with my direct feedback approach. Sensing his discomfort, I paused our session and asked him to share his thoughts. He admitted my style felt too aggressive, making him anxious. I listened actively, acknowledged his feelings, and asked clarifying questions to fully understand his concerns. This open dialogue allowed me to adjust my methods, incorporating more reflective discussions and collaborative goal-setting. Arjun felt heard, and our coaching relationship improved, highlighting the power of active listening in coaching.

A few year ago, I was coaching Sushant, a senior exec at a global firm. He felt uneasy with my structured, assertive methods. After listening to his concerns, I stepped back to assess my approach. I realized my techniques, while effective for some, might not be culturally sensitive or inclusive for everyone. I reflected on Sushant’s background and values, recognizing the need for a more collaborative and flexible approach. By incorporating these adjustments, Sushant felt more comfortable and engaged, leading to better outcomes. This experience underscored the importance of evaluating methods through a diversity lens.

The first step is to assess your coaching methods to understand why they might be causing discomfort. This involves reflecting on your approach, techniques, and communication style. Consider whether your methods are culturally sensitive and inclusive. Are you using language and practices that resonate with diverse backgrounds and experiences? By critically evaluating your methods, you can identify areas that may need adjustment to better align with the client's needs and preferences.

Once you’ve assessed your methods, the next step is to personalize your coaching approach to better suit the client. Engage in an open and respectful conversation with the client to understand their specific concerns and preferences. Ask them about their cultural background, values, and expectations. Use this information to tailor your coaching techniques and communication style. For example, if a client prefers a more collaborative and less directive approach, you can adjust your sessions to be more interactive and client-centered. Personalizing your approach shows that you respect and value the client's individuality and are committed to their comfort and success.

I would look first at the quality of the coaching relationship : is there trust ? If your coachee really trusts you, you can take them anywhere. They will follow the methods you chose for them : of course; the choice must take into account what you know and what you feel about the coachee.

Collaboration is key to addressing the concerns of a diverse client. Involve the client in the coaching process by seeking their input and feedback regularly. Ask them what they find helpful and what they think could be improved. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings openly. By fostering a collaborative environment, you empower the client to take an active role in their coaching journey. This not only helps in addressing their immediate concerns but also builds a stronger, more trusting coaching relationship.

After implementing changes based on the client’s feedback, it’s important to continuously adjust and reflect on your approach. Monitor the client’s responses to the new methods and ask for their feedback regularly. Are the adjustments meeting their needs and expectations? Are there any new concerns that have arisen? Reflecting on the outcomes and remaining open to further modifications ensures that your coaching remains dynamic and responsive to the client’s evolving needs. This ongoing process of adjustment and reflection demonstrates your commitment to providing a supportive and effective coaching experience tailored to the client's unique background and preferences.

It depends on what you mean diverse. Are they hearing impaired? Do they come from a conservative culture? Whatever the case may be, try to ask them what they need from you in order to make sessions more valuable. This could be done preemptively during your first session or consultation.

My experience working with diverse teams taught me a few things: First, be loyal to your culture and be open and direct about it. Your choachees should hear from you what set of values you bring from home, and you should hear about their culture and values. Second, don't judge their behavior too quickly. Whenever you notice discrepancies between you and your coachees, ask questions, use empathy, and explain.