How can you assess and improve your own power skills in a group setting?

When working with a client who struggled to assert themselves in group settings, we discovered their hidden power source: active listening. By truly hearing others, they gained profound insights that others missed. This "quiet power" transformed their group dynamics. They became the go-to person for synthesizing ideas and finding common ground. Their influence grew not through forceful assertion, but through deep understanding. To uncover your unique power, look beyond traditional sources. Maybe you're the one who brings humor to tense situations, or perhaps you have a knack for simplifying complex concepts. These "soft" powers often have more impact than formal authority.

Start by cultivating self-awareness. This means tuning into your emotional responses during group interactions and understanding how they influence your behavior and decisions. Pay attention to moments when you feel hesitant to speak up or when you dominate conversations. These can be revealing indicators of your current power dynamics. Practice active empathy. Put yourself in the shoes of others in your group, especially those with different power levels. Consider keeping a "power journal" where you log your observations and reflections after group interactions. Lastly, don't shy away from discomfort. Pushing yourself to take on roles that challenge your current power skills is where real growth happens.

Some simple changes can make a huge difference instantly. High posture (trying to occupy as much space as possible) Dress a bit nicer than the people you think you might interact with (only a bit) Late DJ radio station voice. Slow and low. With clear pronunciation. NO YELLING Eye contact (only one eye, chose one, and stay with him) Have something in your hand you can play with, but not distracting.

I’m a university professor so I get regular opportunities to get feedback from my students. One of the best ways to get honest feedback in ways that are helpful, is to provide feedback to others in ways that are helpful. Being authentic and embracing different perspectives is also crucial. Unfortunately, I’ve found that sometimes the people who could benefit the most from feedback aren’t really open to receiving it. When you’re working with people who are unwilling to do self assessments… limit your contact with team and focus on goals, outcomes and maintaining your own integrity.