How can you build rapport with someone you've just met?

Building rapport with someone new hinges on genuine curiosity and active listening. Personally, I'm often described as someone who's never met a stranger. I prioritize understanding over being understood, making the person feel valued by recalling details of our conversation—names, stories, or nuances they shared. The volley method keeps interactions engaging, allowing concise replies and more space for inquisitiveness. Small talk may seem trivial, but it's the foundation of trust. So, I resist diving into business discussions, opting instead to inquire about past holidays, favorite moments, hobbies, babies, or family traditions. It's these personal connections that foster the know, like, and trust factors crucial in fruitful relationships.

Presence is about demonstrating active 'hearing'. Why hearing rather than listening? Because the goal is for the other person to feel heard - this equates to feeling valued and understood at a deeper, personal level. Techniques include mirroring of language (esp. descriptive terms) and emotional labelling which is when you play back to the other person the emotion that you sense the other person feeling. This should be framed as a question not a statement, as in 'Do I sense frustration?' - emotional labelling demonstrates your genuine interest and concern for their feelings on a human level. Be wary of mirroring actions, especially if on a video call where it can be too obvious, destroying any sense of authentic connection.

Building rapport with someone you've just met involves active listening, maintaining eye contact, finding common interests, and using open body language. Ask open-ended questions, show genuine curiosity, and share relevant information about yourself. Establishing a connection through empathy and a positive attitude helps create a foundation for a strong rapport.

C'est plus facile en essayant d'identifier les points d'intérêt qui soient communs, à défaut il va falloir savoir captiver l'attention de la personne avec une histoire intéressante.

Give compliments: When appropriate, offer genuine compliments to make them feel valued and appreciated. Share relevant stories: Briefly sharing personal stories can help create a deeper connection and build trust. Follow up and follow through: If you promise to do something, follow through on it. This shows reliability and builds trust. Be patient: Building rapport takes time and effort. Don't expect instant results, but enjoy the process of getting to know someone new.

The best way to build rapport is to share candidly about what’s going on for you. Being honest is vulnerable and vulnerability creates trust. If you talk about what’s hard for you, what you’re working on, what you’re trying to figure out it will make you seem more real. The other person will be able to connect in a genuine way as we all face hard things. This will be a much more memorable and genuine conversation if you create realness by being honest / vulnerable / authentic. People who pretend to have it all buttoned up seem robotic and too perfect for us to want to form connection with.

I get good reactions from people by making observations spontaneously, about the room, the coffee, or what someone has said. The thing itself isn't necessarily amusing, but the observation is e.g. getting the jug contents wrong - you thought the tall silver container was hot water, but it's actually coffee. Describing your silly mistake can be funny for someone else, especially if they've done the same thing themselves; mentioning it breaks the tension in a relatable way. Ka-boom - instant rapport!

Be willing to share parts of your life that aren’t necessarily associated with the person you’re talking to. Colleagues and clients love learning about the ‘human’ side of you - so tell them a funny story about how you went the wrong way down the escalators or something silly that erks you. And with new friends, let them into your old life, something surprising about you. This encourages other people to do the same and you can tease it out of them by asking. This establishes you as a leader: someone confident to share and facilitate. A personal story will trump generic communication any time.

As part of being present and attentive, you can start the conversation and then just listen, observe, and adapt your communication style. Although changing the way you communicate may feel odd, even a small change in your style could make a real difference to that person.

If I really like what someone is wearing I will mention it, and see what happens. Some people worry a little about their clothing choice, so will be relieved. There may be a story about how they got it and its history, other events they've worn it/them to. Mentioning how much you liked what someone said earlier can be a great way to show that you were paying attention.

Honing the skill of building rapport demands patience and dedication. Establishing connections might not occur instantly, but perseverance and continual practice will undoubtedly enhance your ability to connect with a wide range of individuals over time. Tips for building rapport with specific types of people: For extroverts: Extroverts are often outgoing and talkative. To build rapport with an extrovert, be a good listener and ask them questions about themselves. For introverts: Introverts are often more reserved and thoughtful. To build rapport with an introvert, give them some time to warm up and don't be afraid of silence.

Rapport has a structure like everything done very well. If you wonder why you didn't "gel" with someone, the chances are you didn't create rapport and there are two of you that didn't do it, you have a whole "non-connect" Some people are natural rapport builders, almost magnetic and connect with everyone. There are the obvious tips from NLP - matching, mirror with similar posture, pace the person you are speaking with by noticing their language, their tone and volume of gestures. If you move alot and a person is still, move less - that's all non-verbal rapport. The more subtle rapport - remember their name, get seriously curious, find common ground. Assume nothing - beginner's mind & deep active listening. Notice what happens!

I like to enter the situation with the objective of having fun. That may not seem 'professional', but I find it's the best way to build rapport. By looking friendly and approachable, I think anyone can make a great first impression and set the tone for a strong connection.