How can you overcome resistance or skepticism from clients as an executive coach?

Resistance stems from 3 things - a lack of certainty, a lack of clarity, and a lack of experience. As a trained coach, we should always approach skepticism with an attitude of sincere interest. Build rapport before explaining what coaching is. Ask the client to tell you more about them, their worldview, their struggles, their triumphs, and demonstrate what presence, space, and listening looks like. Once you do that, the walls tend to soften and receptivity builds.

In my experience, When people resist or doubt coaching, it's often because they're scared of change, not feeling motivated, unsure about the coach, or have had bad coaching experiences before. To break through these barriers, figure out why your client is hesitant. Ask open questions, really listen, empathize, and acknowledge their worries. Be genuinely curious and respectful to make them feel valued, creating a comfortable space for them to open up about their problems and possibilities.

La primera sesión, esa misma sesión que en muchas ocasiones se toma como "de contacto" o "informativa" marca muchas diferencias. En esta reunión el cliente resistente va a "medirte" y a intentar "demostrar" que lo que le ofreces no le sirve y no es útil. Por eso: * utiliza esta sesión para escuchar, entender y empatizar. * no intentes desbaratar en esta sesión ninguno de sus miedos, esto es parte del proceso. * procura descubrir todos los problemas que plantea, crea una lista que te sirva para ver los orígenes. * no rechaces nada de lo que traiga, cada uno tenemos nuestros miedos y resistencias. * cuando finalice de contarte, resume, agrupa y explica cómo va a poder afrontar esos miedos en el proceso. Sobre todo, no quieras correr¡¡¡

I can share an example of how I overcame scepticism in an executive coaching program. I worked with a client, who had previous negative experiences with coaches and didn't think much of this profession. I must admit, I had a similar opinion before I started my studies in coaching, and before I experienced what is possible with a competent coach and with a serious commitment from my side. In the first sessions we worked with the obvious scepticism, we allowed space for it and I invited the coachee to experiment with a Gestalt Coaching intervention. The coachee agreed, and after the experience, he changed his mind, because something started to shift in his perspective, about the topic we brought in the session.

In my experience, resistance is often the highest when people feel that coaching is done to them and not with them. At least in organizations, the term itself is associated with someone having flaws that need to be fixed. A lot of times, this perception stems from the fact that coaching is offered when an individual is either on their way out or in the bottom quartile. A broader understanding in society is yet to be established that coaching is most powerful when it is used to elevate someone from being good to great. Small steps are critically important in order to build trust for the person in the process as well as the individual they are working with. And this trust-building may take time.

Another effective approach to tackle resistance or doubt is by making sure you and your client are on the same page regarding goals and expectations. This involves clarifying the purpose and limits of the coaching, setting SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound), and outlining the roles and responsibilities for both sides. This not only helps your client understand the value of coaching but also creates a shared vision, clear expectations, and realistic objectives. It's a chance to address any worries they have, fostering open communication and working together on a plan that suits both of you.

In navigating resistance from a coaching client, aligning with their goals is paramount. Begin by empathetically exploring their concerns and perspectives, creating a safe space for open dialogue. Establish a collaborative approach, emphasizing shared objectives and the client's vision for success. Tailor coaching strategies to address their unique needs and aspirations, fostering a sense of ownership in the process. By acknowledging and integrating their goals, resistance can transform into a catalyst for positive change, fostering a more productive coaching relationship.

SMART goals can be useful for some clients, but goal setting is not for everyone. The coaching process can be used to help the client become clearer about what their questions are and how they want to answer those questions. Simply put the coach and the client need to contract for the work that needs to be done and do it. This might take one session it might take many. But the client should feel value from the get-go if the coach takes this approach.

An executive coach can align on goals and expectations to overcome resistance by fostering open communication. Actively involve clients in defining coaching objectives, ensuring they feel ownership. Clearly articulate the benefits of coaching in achieving their goals. Establish a collaborative partnership, fostering trust and a shared commitment to the coaching process.

Another effective strategy to address resistance or doubt is offering feedback and evidence. Provide constructive and timely feedback, emphasizing their progress and accomplishments. Share relevant data and examples to showcase the impact of coaching. This helps your client identify strengths, areas for improvement, and reinforces positive outcomes. Celebrate successes, acknowledge challenges, and be open to adjusting goals and strategies as needed. It's a way to show tangible results, build confidence, and keep the coaching process transparent and impactful.

An executive coach can provide feedback and evidence to overcome resistance by offering constructive, specific feedback tied to observable behaviors. Share success stories or testimonials showcasing the positive impact of coaching. Use data or assessments to provide objective insights, reinforcing the value and efficacy of the coaching process.

Establishing trust and rapport is a key method to tackle resistance or skepticism. Be genuine, respectful, supportive, and consistent in your interactions. Keep your promises, maintain professionalism, and uphold confidentiality. This helps your client feel at ease, valued, and confident in the coaching relationship, promoting collaboration and partnership. Building trust enhances your credibility and influence as a coach. Express appreciation, show interest, and use humor to strengthen rapport. Creating a positive connection lays the foundation for effective coaching and opens the door to overcoming skepticism.

When we coach individuals who show doubt and resistance, it's extremely crucial that we overtly ensure it's safe for them to respond in ANY manner to our inputs. For instance, you could say, "I'd like to share an observation with you. I may be wrong, nevertheless, feel free to disagree. This is merely my viewpoint." Furthermore, when we suggest an alternative, we should propose not just one but several, allowing the person we're addressing to reject one choice without saying no to us. This kind of safety is essential in establishing trust and confidence in small, yet important steps.

Building trust and rapport with a resistant coaching client involves active listening, empathy, and understanding. Begin by acknowledging their concerns and validating their perspective. Establish a collaborative and non-judgmental environment where open communication is encouraged. Share relevant experiences to build common ground and demonstrate authenticity. Tailor your coaching approach to align with their values and goals, fostering a sense of partnership. Consistent follow-up and a genuine commitment to their success will further strengthen the bond and overcome resistance.

Trust is key to deal with skeptics. The analytical skeptic is known to Belbin team roles model as the Monitor Evaluator. Understanding them: Intrinsic Reward: Clarity and comprehension Needs: Constant inflow of information Ideal Placement: Analytical and advisory roles; Decisions about the long-term; Illustration of goals When Missing: Decisions not properly considered; Decisions based on emotion; Constant rethinking; Lack of impartial considerations; Plans lack strategic breadth Allowable Weaknesses: Lack of enthusiasm; Inability to inspire others; Criticism and skepticism Non-Allowable Weaknesses: Logic-deprived cynicism They need all information, facts, numbers and background information, and all this without unnecessary enthusiasm.

Trust forms the bedrock of a robust coaching relationship. Coachees decide to place their trust in a coach based on skills, benevolence, and integrity. While skills are crucial, benevolence and integrity are non-negotiable. If coachees don't sense genuine concern for their well-being or consistency between words and actions, trust becomes challenging. In coaching, authenticity and genuine care are pivotal in building enduring and impactful relationships

Another valuable approach to tackle resistance or skepticism is to empower your client. Pose impactful questions, offer diverse perspectives, and motivate them to take action and responsibility. This aids in broadening their awareness, uncovering potential, and overcoming limiting beliefs. Encourage them to explore goals and aspirations. Use this opportunity to inspire and provide support in their journey. Challenging and empowering your client fosters personal growth and helps overcome resistance by instilling a sense of capability and motivation.

An executive coach challenges and empowers to overcome resistance by encouraging clients to explore and challenge their own perspectives. Foster a growth mindset, framing obstacles as opportunities. Provide empowering tools and strategies. Instill confidence through positive reinforcement, enabling clients to navigate challenges and achieve desired outcomes.

Handling skeptical people (Monitor Evaluators) DO NOT … … discourage them with enthusiasm and social pressure … await swift decisions or immediate approval of ideas … try to convince them with emotions or cleverness … expect much in the way of eagerness or emotion TRY TO … … consult them when complicated decisions need to be made … ask open questions to get them talking … give them enough time to calmly think things over … leave them a lot of space Value their decisions and the information you receive from them. And if it should ever occur that a Monitor Evaluator gives a swift positive response to an idea you came up with, thank them and start working on that idea immediately, for that must have been a great one!

Effectively challenging a coaching client requires a delicate balance. Begin by acknowledging their perspective, fostering trust. Gently introduce alternative viewpoints, encouraging self-reflection. Employ open-ended questions to explore resistance, aiming to uncover underlying concerns. Foster a supportive environment, emphasizing the client's autonomy. Share relevant experiences or insights to inspire new perspectives. Lastly, collaboratively set achievable goals, ensuring the challenge aligns with their growth objectives, fostering a positive and constructive coaching dynamic.

I always think of this wonderful quote "People want to change. They do not want to be changed." If we are struggling and spending energy trying to convince another person, we are probably wasting our time. On the other side, if we try to understand the reasons for their resistance and skepticism, with curiosity, perhaps they will, in time, change their mind or at least reciprocate and try to understand our point of view. And if they change, they will change for them, not for us.

Organisations and systems have harmed many people. Skepticism can be misunderstood as fear and reluctance to participate. When there may legitimate reasons why people are worried about participating - particularly when coaching hasn't been their choice. In health care practitioners have a scope of practice that helps them be clear with themselves and others about the work they are legally equipped and able to do and what they are not. A reflection process for coaches - to consider - am I the best person to work with this client can be a really helpful place to start.

In my experience resistance is usually about fear and shame. It is critical that the sponsor position the coaching as learning and success focused rather than remedial or “a last ditch effort” at behavior correction. I always make sure the sponsor and I are aligned that coaching in an investment t in the Coachee because of their value, not the final nail in the coffin of their job. That being said, what is key in my experience is that the Coachee feel high trust that a) they are redeemable and enough b) that the coaching process can help them and c) that they are safe with me.

Here is a neat test. If your enthusiasm of: “I have an idea…” is received with thoughtful nodding, then ten tough questions on how it will work, how much it will cost and whether it has already been done, they’re doing the required job as a skeptic (Monitor Evaluator). On the other hand, if your suggestion is met with: “NO! NO! IT WON’T WORK, I TELL YOU, IT WON’T WORK!” before you’re through the door, you’re dealing with a pessimist rather than a skeptic (Monitor Evaluator). The difference? A Monitor Evaluator builds their scepticism on logic; a pessimist doesn’t.

When people seek a coach they seek support. Often it is related to development and working with other people. Development and growth do not happen in the comfort zone, that's unfortunately the harsh reality. That means, to grow - people will need to leave their comfort zone and go through change. This can be tough and will only be successful, if the coachee is ready for this...